Haha, yes, this is me. I don’t really use Bluesky though. Come over to Threads and join in the fun.

I suggest we start by firing Nigel into the sea

Well done, everyone. Just top quality work all round.

Flags are currently at half-mast to mark the death of President Jimmy Carter. Trump of course is having them raised for his own inauguration. The disrespectful orange twat.

Today’s mood. No reason.

Turned on LBC and it’s Vanessa Feltz AGAIN. Do they not employ anyone else any more?

Most social media networks would be improved by banning the Americans.

I also would go halfway around the world to avoid having sex with Richard Tice, so for the first time in my life I find myself sympathising with Isabel Oakeshott.

£134m is an eye-watering sum with nothing to show for it. Who did this money go to, I wonder? Rishi Sunak’s family company Infosys?

Just the Daily Mail, starting the weekend with “Hitler was great”

Dear 19-year-old OnlyFans models. I appreciate your persistence and your low standards, I really do, and there do appear to be an awful lot of you, but I’m afraid I will be blocking you all anyway. I fear I will only be a disappointment.

Fascinating to consider what kind of person could answer this YouGov poll and answer that the Conservatives were “not sleazy at all”

This reads very much like Kemi is on the side of the mob. Am I misreading it, or have Bad Enoch’s bad opinions come to the surface again?

Michael Deacon is delighted that fires have swept across California and dozens of people have been killed, because it strikes a blow against diversity and inclusion. This tells you everything you need to know about Michael Deacon, and the Tory shitrag he writes for. Don’t buy the Telegraph.

“Son, we need to talk to you about something called pegging”

Oooh, I know this one! Is it “tax the rich”?

Someone just told the Telegraph about Brexit

It also could be easily cleared using the money trousered by Michelle Mone, Dido Harding and Matt Hancock’s pub landlord. Do keep up, GB News.

Pictured: Elon & Felon

Trump yet again shows that he understands… well, fuck all about anything really

Hard hitting from Banksy 😁🤣

He needs to get his performance objectives signed off

The world ten days out from Trump’s inauguration feels like one of those penultimate Game of Thrones episodes. All the pieces are in place and battle is now inevitable. We’ve got a whole episode of chaos and destruction ahead of us and not everyone is going to make it out alive. Good luck everyone.

Here’s another Express poll that needs some non-gammon input to even things out. Direct link below.

The Telegraph just went full Nazi.

It must be really easy being a Telegraph journalist, simply inventing things you wish had happened instead of reporting what actually did. This is laughably far from the truth.

Well it’s your job to point out that this isn’t the case, then, isn’t it, you twat

Children. We are about to be led by children.

He’s an evil-looking fucker, isn’t he?

… he’s not talking about the football club, is he?

Bluesky isn’t owned by a psychopathic billionaire… YET

The Internet was only fun when it was full of nerds. As soon as we let the normies use it, it all went to shit. Web browsers were a mistake

Something I didn’t miss from Twitter… getting caught out by parody accounts. Stand down, everyone.

Congratulations to Kemi Badenoch on coming up with the worst hashtag a Conservative leader could possibly use.

Kemi’s attempt to be Minister for the Daily Mail doesn’t seem to be working out too well for her. I wonder when she’ll work out that turning up and shouting about whatever she’s read in the papers isn’t going to achieve what she wants it to.

Prediction: Badenoch is going to try and pursue Musk's agenda in the Commons today, like the sad desperate attention seeker she is, and she is going to look a fool.

Nostradamus strikes again. Don’t all rush to the bookies at once.

I hope everyone realises that all the #Threadfugees *definitely* came over in small boats.

It’s a delight seeing so many familiar faces already here, like a party where everyone’s been waiting for you. Of course because this is new we are also standing around awkwardly not saying much and avoiding eye contact. It’ll pass. We are the Threads refugees! Let’s get this party started.