Everything hurts & I’m dying.

My kids begging me to get my teaching license and teach at their school is so wild to me because I would have ran away if my mom got a job at my school when I was a kid

My kids wanted a snack so I cut up a cucumber for them. Why are they counting the slices to make sure they got the exact same amount?

Hangman is like this to @haleyanne.bsky.social

More book research. What’s your favorite band T ever?

Brainstorming help needed! If you were trying to learn more about someone in a group setting (think small birthday party) how would you go about it? Along the lines of instigating a game of truth or dare/never have I ever. Absurd but believable is what I’m aiming for

Now I’m like well obviously we need to buy new merch

My ten year old stole almost all my adult small t shirts from @laurenmoran.bsky.social 😂

Took an edible for the first time in forever and put on the Barbie movie. I may think I’m a Barbie soon.

My 8 year old - I don’t know why but Seth with Paul Heyman disgusts me.

Me looking at the unsuspecting macaroni at any family gathering.

Me - What does NPC stand for? 10 year old - Nipple Pimple Cat 8 year old - National… no wait. Non-fiction Potato Crackers

Bottle featuring @laurenmoran.bsky.social art & Sidney Crosby.

I love when my cramps start and it feels like my uterus is going to fall out

People are yelling for country next year and the NFL has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever by getting Beyoncé

Me: Why tf does my back always hurt? Also me:

10 year old - she looks like the girl from that movie momma watches where she falls down the stairs 8 year old - Death Becomes Her I win a parenting award for that right?

Say goodnight to Blue & his bear or else.

Goodnight 🫶🏻

The goodest boy who ever lived

You and that stringy ass greasy hair? Sad.

My 8 year old and his grandma fight like cats and dogs. She loves to “pick at” (read antagonize) him but can’t handle it when he does it back. Yesterday they were driving by a cemetery: 8 year old: “That place wants you” 😦🙃

LGB

Michael Cole may be the funniest person ever.

I am literally just a girl

Got all the linky links in one place now. linktr.ee/torturedhero...

We had to go to the store to get tampons and my 8 year old says “OH NO IS YOUR BUTT BLEEDING AGAIN?!” Lord help me.

Can’t wait for my boys to go back to school and tell everyone that over break they watched the entire Hannah Montana series and their mom taught them how to play poker. 🤙🏼

Book 1 of 2025 is done

Happy New Year! May 2025 bring you happiness and me lots of books.

Officially finished my last book of 2024. 2025 Goals: 📚 350 Books 📚 150,000 pages read 📚 Read all my physical books that I have yet to read 📚Grow my Booksta to 2,500 followers

Happy Monday from my lap dog and me.

I was flipping through the channels and saw Sister Wives and my oldest goes oh it’s stupid Kody

Stillllll doing a giveaway of TTPD anthology vinyl over on the booksta.

Doing a giveaway of TTPD anthology vinyl over on the booksta www.instagram.com/p/DEJFegpRhY...

Happy Yeehawlidays 😘

Just as there is a minimum age for social media there should also be a maximum and on Instagram that should be like 52

Certainly not my best work but a mom is exhausted. Hopefully they get the clues all fairly easily.

10 year old is so excited for Christmas he can’t stand it 😂 He has been asking constantly since 2 o’clock what time it is so that he can go to bed. He just asked if they could go to bed at 7 and 7 year old was like

My elf was always lazy then my kids started complaining because other people participate in the goddamn elf Olympics so I bought some little sets to help me do cool things for them and now the elf is writing a whole fucking poem and doing a scavenger hunt .

I’m rebranding soon sooooo check it out

By virtue of being Not Chris Jericho, yes he should.

Last night the boys and I went to Walmart to get groceries and things for Christmas dinner. They had 3 worker checkouts open and everything else was self. It was SO BUSY. I prefer self checkout anyway so we waited in like for about 25 minutes for one with a belt because we had a cart full.

Because NOTHING is funnier to little boys than poop and farts. *my bathroom is being redone so ignore the walls lol

My dog is 4 and I still can’t trust him to be left alone when I’m not watching him 🙄

Heyyyy if you’d go follow my bookstagram and show it some love I’d love you forever www.instagram.com/chersharesbo...

I wonder if Dr Pepper misses me as much as I miss it