@badnamesandguns.bsky.social “Keith. I need help blending in.” She points at Agni, which is currently hiding with taped on tree branches.

“Man just get rid of the counter.”

“NERV…never heard of them, but I’m sure they do good work.” Her knees start to ache, so she eventually just sits down.

“I’ll admit, I’ve got apprehension about new pilots, but at least the ones in mechs have some standard around them Tank or helicopter pilots terrify me. I got a photo of one trying to deal with an NHP once and he somehow lived.” …How did she get a Polaroid?

((I have been needing to watch that…

“…So, where did your dad get that mech out of curiousity?” She just doesn’t want to deal with another squad of Pegasus hitting her with The Gun That Does Not Exist.

“Sounds more like you die like cowards.”

“Charlene. Nice to meet ya.” She sticks out a massive gloved hand for a handshake

“DEATH ADDER is cool and all, but you can still get hurt in it Bunson puts me in a pocket dimension. I can detonate it and be all fine afterwards. Can DEATH ADDER protect you if that were to happen?”

“Man…your dad kinda sucks.” She squats down so she doesn’t have to look down “What’s your name kid?”

“…Did…did they lower the age on Lancer lisences now? Why are there kids in Horus mechs???”

“I have discovered what a keytar is, and now I’m gonna use it for silly things.” She plays the first 4 notes of Megalovania and Bunson shoots a bird out of the sky.

“I need to get a Kidd set up with flight so I can mimic this thing. Just imagine flying it around and dropping a Barbossa on some moron.”

She’s managed to get a decent check of money and has spent it on gas station burritos “Man these taste great…”

“…I have a really bad feeling that I’m gonna have to deal with newbies in the future Anyone got some Orange Juice?”

“I have been investigating some commons mechs here and all I have to say is that one is just a Vlad. It’s almost quaint looking at such old designs.”

The visual of a 10 foot tall monster lady casually jumping onto the roof of a train car might as well have seperated the soul from his body. “Alright, so why did you call me up for something? I have a feeling it’s important.”

“No. At least not that way.” She adjust her gauntlets and forms a grappling hook, latching onto the side of the cart and catapulting herself over. Did it make noise, sure. But was she afraid to do it? Hell no.

“…Yeah, no.” She’s been stuck there one time before, and will never get near a train again unless she’s riding it.

“Alright bud, I hear ya.” She reached for the ball, grabbing it from the sides so that if she bit, only the ball would pop “Gonna be a bit weird, but that’s no issue.”

“Then neither of us can be It must be something on the underside of your shoe.”

“I had a shower this morning, I can’t be smelly. Maybe someone is projecting.”

“Absolutely will rise to that challenge…and I’m gonna text her wife to cover that situation…” After a few moments, she finishes the text and pulls out a pack of playing cards. “Poker is always fun if you want to try that.”

“…want me to play basketball with you?” She bent down and stared down…imagine Persephone seeing this creature. And then the thought hits her…and a look of grief hits her face.

“Alrighty there stranger, be as mean as you want, but I have wrestled crocodiles before.” She’s curious if she can get the ball out.

“…Vodka, Beer, or Wine?” She’s pulling out cans with buttons on the side, clearly too fed up with this nonsense to want to stay sober.

“…Hold on, let me turn on the news.” She opens up a flip phone and immediately finds an article. “…Unidentified woman found compressed into 60 vinegar jars in South Carolina bottling plant. …I think I need alcohol.” ITS NOT EVEN NOON

Oh no, she’s been spotted “…What kind of ball is that?”

“Even if you did kill her, she’s like a zombie. She crawls back. Besides, what’s even around that could smell like vinegar of all things? It’s not like… …c-could she have been teleported to a vinegar bottling plant?”

“I don’t know 100 percent, but there’s some blonde lady that says really weird shit that’s her landlord. A few days ago she said something along the lines of ‘the next time you hear of fish, all you will smell is Vinegar’ …Look man, I didn’t ask questions after my mech began to show Horus tags.”

“Damn, another victim of The Curse. Eh, I’m sure she’s fine.”

𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒌 , 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 , 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆

“I’m over it…but I keep something just in case he ever appears again.” She tries to hide the fact it’s making her mad just thinking about it, but that’s failing.

“Ra is some weird thing I saw on the corners of the omninet, still got no idea what it is, but I know it’s evil enough …I do not like Egyptian gods because one of them drugged me.”

“Deal That fucker keeps driving Manticores and if I have to hear ‘CaStIgAtE ThE eNeMiEs Of ThE GoDhEaD’ one more time I might just summon Ra on her ass.”

“Keith I owe you 40$ for pissing that fucker off.”

“Sometimes I wake up on this planet and I wish I could see a Capybara again. And not the baby ones, the real thing.” What is she talking about?!

“It’s ok Keith, it’s like a horse.” No the hell it’s not! It’s trying to turn him into a side salad!

“I’ll admit I forgot how adorable Cradle’s creatures are. Plus they are so nice.” She’s sitting on a hippo like it’s a pony.

“Thanks bud.” She sets it on the ground and it immediately runs up a tree after hissing at her

“Isn’t it adorable? If I could have a pet, I think I would take this one.” The creature is trying its best to free itself from her grip

@badnamesandguns.bsky.social “Keith, I need you to look at an adorable creature real quick.” She’s holding a life Racoon in her hands like a can of beer

“Just like a Genghis. A total loser and a hot head. Cool look by the way.”

“…Eve, why did they make a humansona of the Genghis?” She looked mildly annoyed just looking at Muspell.

“Not magic, but I’ll take the compliment. Want any of this? I’m getting full.”

“…Look man, all I’m saying is that you feel like someone that Harrison would turn into a new experiment.” She’s offering some Taco Bell at least. She’s discovered the wonders of fast food

“…Did you encounter a Horus cell?”

“Oh hey the dragon lady is registering as an Unlisenced mech,That’s cool. I’m so glad the NHP in this isn’t Agni Class.”

“…I think I’m gonna stick with water.” ‘Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck-‘ She’s just staring at the bottle like it was napalm.