shakes the salt mist off my fur and trots into town for therapy

curls up in a soggy pile of rockweed and goes to sleep

ok balance calls for bright side time, so the good news of the day is thanks to the housing program we rent through, rent barely is going up at all this year

i’ve been living through a version of this for a long, long time youtube.com/shorts/_qW09...

whatever, it’s cool, classes start again soon. i can make it.

craving outdoors but agoraphobic af

ngl it’s been an exhausting couple days i wish i was sleeping on a bed of moss

i officially enrolled in my next language course(s) after 1 went as well as it did, i decided to take 2 and 3 at the same time. hopefully i don't regret that lol

on the bright side all these years of stress have rly helped me appreciate regressing as a copingmech. tbh i'm overdue for a cozy night. i did just get new nuk5s (latex has to be replaced but it's way better) so now i just need enough of an appetite to want a comfort meal and to pick a comfy movie

someone who consistently tells the truth is the easiest to smear. if you‘re honest to the best of your ability, and someone is willing to lie about absolutely anything, choosing to remain honest is knowingly walking into a minefield.

i opened up alone, hid behind no one, brought consistent facts to every instance of opening up, and did so in front of everyone following my account, meaning i've shared the same set of facts with every person. that can be enough for me to attempt to let it slide from my mind for now.

i think i'd rather lose every follower i have than continue to silently endure being stalked, antagonized, smeared, stolen from, lied about, projected onto, etc.

one of the more mundane effects of some of my early trauma is a total block around decorating my spaces in any way. one aspect is that every room has felt temporary since 05. i also wasn't allowed agency over my space/identity/body/interests growing up so i'm working on dismantling those beliefs.

i have a bad habit of predicting how my words could be twisted/used against me and deleting posts, but i've made some progress deconstructing the habit by asking myself, “do i stand by it?” and when the answer is “yes, definitely” i feel a lot of that stress drain away

may i be kind instead of nice, direct instead of avoidant, and self-respecting instead of people-pleasing 🍂

if you pull down the page to refresh (on mobile) and hold it too long, a little fox pops up and waves hello

i'm doing everything i can to identify and alleviate my recent unease/anxiety and some of it feels like it's finally lifting giving myself more room to be openly me, allowing but not obeying my fear, taking better care of my body, and increasing my confidence in small ways are starting to stack up

🍄🌼

i've been uncomfortable on this account (for my own personal reasons) and i'm slowly realizing it might be stemming from feeling more alien again, and i want to explore that

'if you give a mouse a cookie'? why don't you give the trans therian fox and wolf girls a cookie instead

whatever, old man [knots my fleshlight]

nvm i figured out what was causing my anxiety

today i'm trying a new medium i will probably create something awful and also, i'm very excited

the only types of art i've done recently that i actually like are fast and intuitive, whether they're diary sketches or finished paintings. i hope i can figure out how to move into that headspace more easily and start improving those skills.

[muted unpleasant steel string noises bc i forgot to draw the plug, cord, and amp]

may those who stalk, assault, gaslight, smear, steal from, and lie about others experience exactly what they deserve, for exactly as long as they deserve it 🪔

deleting a couple posts bc i wrote them with less-than-ideal clarity around a touchy subject and i don't want my words to hurt anyone's feelings if they're misinterpreted or taken out of context

looks like rain outside, smells like rain outside. no rain outside.

being unapologetically unfiltered Before i get to the point of crashing out feels so good i hope everyone who dislikes me for me stays away forever so i can draw weird freak art with the other chill animals and pursue quiet happiness without slicing off pieces of myself

love to experience a brief and intense fixation passing by like a lil rainshower

re: my new minimal display name i'm still feeling very comfy in my name, i'm just making this account less noticeably connected to my main so i can work on and support nsfw without attracting the attention of pitchforks-and-fire types

wait that post i just deleted is actually not fully true because art is a visual that feeds my soul that isn't nature and sometimes that actually is in the form of movies (princess mononoke for example) but the bottom of my soul's food pyramid is still nature.

i want to be around other wolves so bad so bad so bad i would chew through every chainim held down by for a chance to be a wolf with wolves and lay in the grass in the night and listen to the air in the leaves and our lungs

i have no interest whatsoever in being mean, but if i have to make the choice, i would rather feel comfortable and safe than be perceived as nice.

my current Big Food Thing is dried passion fruit

oh i'm like five days late for my T shot

the other thing is, i've begun building my self-respect and can no longer stomach being told things like "just ignore them" or "do you have proof?" or "i don't really see it." when women in media come forward, everyone seems to get it. when it's real life, the same people become abuse apologists.

living through numerous traumas that few experience even once in life is an isolation feedback loop. i keep trying to make friends and new memories, but i don't have many nice ones, so i have to choose between being closed off/pretending to be something i'm not, or being open and seen as miserable.

longeing my horse therian friends when they're on one until they join-up

commission for @/wordguruAD featuring their fursona shen and my lion beau vibing together in a horny stoner paradise >//u//<

i hope, having spent the dark half of the year hurting and healing, i can get back to where i left off wrt finding/freeing/rewilding myself

strong and constant tug in my chest toward roaming, seeking the smell of last year's blackberries, forest water, dirt, sweat, moss, dried grass, blossom nectar, cedar bark in the sun, dry ocean rocks covered in mineral dust and barnacles, cracked chiton and petrichor and salt air

a doodle from this past winter