got called insane for saying there are cinematic parallels between Die Hard and Jingle All The Way but in this essay I will-

I love winter because u can always complain & everyone agrees w u. “It’s so cold!”, “I miss summer”, “the sun sets so early”, “I wanna go home” 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Luigi’s Body (2024)

my mans took me to build a bear 🥹

Making my award winning soup for dinner w the guy I’m dating’s friends that I’m meeting for the first time!! Very domestic, very polite, very hunter gatherer

Protest is considered fundamental to the French identity so the government accepts it as a fact of life. The American government expects citizens to fall in line and will literally kill them if they try to threaten the status quo 😭

feeling like a boomer bc i just ordered an address book cuz im tired of forgetting where people live & their call box codes & their birthdays

exercise is the greatest act of self love tbh like I want this body im in to be healthy forever!

I know nothing about sports so don’t jump me but realizing we recruit foreigners in the NBA was so crazy to me. Like wdym u got a pair of GERMAN brothers dunking on black Americans at Madison Square Garden 😭 I almost turned off the tv!

guy I’m dating doesn’t have Bluesky so I can tweet ab him freely but he’s so amazing, I’m so happy, and lowkey think I’m in love hehe

mariah the scientist was actually so real when she asked “daddy, am I your baby? 🥺🥺”

🚀

My parents’ dog refusing to eat his food unless there’s brown stew chicken gravy on top is sending me bad msksksms who do these animals think they are 😭

in a shocking twist of events, my baby brother just asked when I’m making him an uncle. I expect this kind of grilling from my parents! et tu, brute??

I hated smile 2 cuz I hate watching women be gaslit!

this guy I’m dating asked me what sopranos character he is and I said Bobby Bacala and things haven’t been the same since 💀

high as fuck cooking dinner & listening to silk sonic. never kill urself

good Jamaican women 🤝🏽

Happy Friday sailors

Yall im finally being loved mexicanly

It’s cold and raining! Finally November is Novembering 😌

November airport selfies from Hong Kong, Dubai, and Rome 🫰🏽

There HAS to be something in Project 2025 that would make Zeus TV & all its copycats illegal

“Wahgwan” is the perfect greeting

“You need to get chipotle”

I love overhearing women crashing out on the phone. Like yes tell that nigga to eat a dick and die!!! Get him again!!!

Man being crazy on the train. We need to bring these back

I am the person who started the Jackie Kennedy is ugly trend

me downnn

Can’t explain it but everyone attending all the celebrity lookalike competitions is very Pokémon Go coded

Jamaican people are so twisted. My uncle works in hospice and gives nicknames to all his patients. Why he call me to tell me the old, wrinkly alcoholic called Rum & Raisin just passed 😭

Where can I get this

Ngl I’m tired of waking up to beautiful weather in November

🐙

Need my hair done BAD

I’m so tight w everyone in my building I can’t imagine living anywhere else. My neighbor asked to borrow my mixing bowls & just returned them w some delicious whipped ricotta toast. I love community!!!

I lowkey missed having a small account omg nobody hate following or talking to me crazy on here 😭💓

Oh I need that bra. You’ve done it again, friend

legitimately crashing out over the prices of non alcoholic drinks at gimmicky dine-in movie theaters. wdym 9 American dollars for “fig shrub lemonade on the rocks” w no free refills?

I hate that racism is so imbedded into the fabric of this country cuz I can’t even watch this fun boxing match without thinking ab how a loss would set my people back centuries 😭

happy friday y’all 🧸

“ASK THEM ABOUT $200 DATES NEXT!!!”

they debating washing chicken again on that other app. Enough!!!

no drafts on here is kinda nuts tho. Jack said say it NOW, say it with your chest, or keep it on the playground!

I just realized Bluesky’s logo is a social butterfly

and the discover feed isn’t filled with Nazis and incels

Fuck discourse! I agree.

I really hope this fight tonight isn’t scripted & Tyson goes ape shit. like I need to see spinal cord fr

it’s so refreshing for everyone on my timeline to be a human again like we really living elbow to elbow w bots on that other app. crazy how fast it was normalized too

i had a whole heart to heart rekindling w the wrong man over text today. I had no idea I knew 2 Carloses let alone 2 that I owe an apology to. I didn’t realize it was the wrong guy until he sent a voice memo forgiving me & asking to see me & I was like Harpo who dis?! Humiliating