me, incorrectly calculating the likelihoods of genetic inheritance "yea after like 40 generations you're not related to any of your ancestors"

conservative co-opting "woke" social science: "actually, race is a social construct, it doesn't exist. now get out of my country you drip-eyed Ruthenian f-"

a travesty

"Japanese is a unique language, this phrase is untranslateable" then you look at it and it's just straight up basic "better to be a smart fella than a fart smella"-tier wordplay

people nowadays love to take one small part of something, divest it of its context, then build a thesis from that. so in this 6 hour video essay I will be exploring how the song "Hear Me" by Imagine Dragons is about sleep apnea

"they should just learn to speak English right, they do it all wrong" -Mark from Thornton-le-Beans, Yorkshire, who can only pronounce 3/4 of his own name

watching a "health influencer" (orthorexic with delusions of grandeur) eating a plant-based chicken sandwich with gluten-free bread and seitan-based chicken replacement, then clawing my eyes out of my skull, frothing at the mouth

"the city without the walls is well-defended" english certainly is a language

watching my friends and family suffer excruciating deaths because I accidentally asked the genie for a venusian vacation instead of a venetian vacation

flying to Ireland and violently harassing old men in a rural gaeltacht village until one of them bashes my skull in like a rotten watermelon so I can put "succumbed to shillelagh shenanigans" on my tombstone

#EldenRing #Nightreign youtu.be/BUB_n9WVPzQ

experiencing the efflux of your most core and vital essences and being wholly impotent to stem the tide of their escape (allergies flared up and eye won't stop watering)

nicknaming your nibling "Tweeny" not because of their age but because their face looks like it's between keyframes

nothing like stopping on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere at three a.m. to pet a random cat you saw walking along in a field

gonna make a band and every time we release an album it looks like a self titled, but actually they're all the same album title, but we change the band name, just to make it the absolute worst to organize Eastmarch (2025) - Eastmarch Eastmarch (2027) - Eastmarch Eastmarch (2028) - Eastmarch

lovely to meet you, I'm Cillian Murphy's cum, you may recognize me from the inside of Cillian Murphy's balls or my time sprayed across Justin Timberlake's toes

dreamt I made a youtube video about an unsolved math problem called the rainy window theorem in my explanation I bungled some key point, but afterwards it turned out I was exactly right and had solved it, the original author congratulated me and I won the Fields Medal

here at the immurium the visitors look like so: 35% just want to stack a few bricks and shout "for the love of God, Montresor" 62% are puppy girls who want to spend the afternoon in the stuck holes (great revenue from snack sales) the rest are dumbasses who thought Walled In was a good movie

referring to a hentai doujinshi of a series as a "pornographic fanzine" and watching weebs' skulls burst like the guy from Scanners

being one hour and fourty-seven minutes full mast and full blast and release nowhere in sight is only one myraidth as frustrating as a color-coded wikipedia table with no legend #relatable #financialadvice

had a dream that the island of Barbados issued a new coin, which was called a Milana, and it was one kilo of 0.380 silver, and looked like a sea shell carved into a decorative ashtray, with the conversion rate on the date of minting to the defunct Spanish escudo and Dutch guilder stamped on it

personally I felt that both Service Model and Alien Clay were below the mark for his work... which isn't a dig, they're still pretty good, it's just that he writes a lot of really good books (go read Children of Time and Elder Race and Cage of Souls, thx)

reflecting back on when I was younger, there's several things I feel like I should have thought were much stranger than I did at the time like when I was 19, finding out my fwb had on multiple occasions had discussions with her ex-bf about my penis

in december 2024 I dreamed I was talking to someone and they mentioned Spain, and I said "Western Iberia" and had to spend ages explaining I didn't mean the western part of the Iberian Peninsula but the whole peninsula as opposed to Caucasian Iberia, and I woke up shaking in a cold sweat

I've a real soft spot for words that look like compound words at first glance but in fact aren't at all, or are actually compounded from quite different words than they seem like: threshold cobweb hangnail cockroach mistletoe words are a fuck illiterate 'em all 871 M̅M̅M̅D̅X̅X̅X̅MMCLIX dead saxon monks

reading Beowulf when I was in school was really eye opening and inspiring; it was the first time I ever felt like I had a real role model that I could orient my life after: Hrunting. I too want literally everyone to talk about how great and amazing I am only for me to fail at the first hurdle

modern dipshit reading ancient philosophy: "it's actually super based to have no feelings" modern dipshit reading modern philosophy: "relativity is a bourgeois reactionary lie"

was reminded that this clip exists

had a dream last night that I got captured and they stuck me in a room and forced me to write unique tweets that had never been said before. I was stuck in there for days, and then I tweeted "I thought lily of the valley was a trans girl from socal" and they drug me out of the room and shot me