i tried to keep up with the dairy tour but i lost my whey

don’t get into a stairing contest with mc escher

i wanted to revive the woolly mammoth after finding a frozen specimen, but my plans weren’t well thawed out

nyc come on out to the party for my new book “the dead can’t make a living” april 10! food! prizes! ok, prizes, but food! yuandmebooks.com/products/lau...

i thought i was the best at distilling sugarcane but now i see rum for improvement

my tea business failed because the costs were too steep

ancient indo-europeans took racing seriously, and some of the contests were hittite finishes

i’m really anticipating this book about bowling. the wait has me on pins

i sometimes need a tool to help me pour, funnely enough

i’ve always been indifferent to suckerfish, remora less

if a cantaloupe is too heavy to lift, use a cantilever

what dessert do trolls like? lair cake

i’ll tell you my cow joke later, i’m not in the mooooood now

so many sham papers were presented at the geology summit, but i never mentioned it to the press. i never talk schist

if i milked cows all day, i’d totally write entries about it in my dairy

why are chickens terrible pitchers? they tend to balk

i haven’t mentioned hungarian composers yet, but it was next on my liszt

i’m so bad at listening, i can’t even follow the heard

if you master geology, you might get a macarthur igneous grant

i was going to write a paper that did some finger pointing, but thumbthing else came up

some people despise mountain goats, but ibex to differ

i was in a band with astronomers but we broke up because the singer wanted to go solar

if you trade milk futures, you’re only quarting disaster

george takei says celebrate ghost month with ghost month! photo by @ghwatanabe.bsky.social

if i created a series of videos about forest trails, i’d ask viewers to lichen subscribe

i was looking over an ancient manuscript when i found a page was missing. surely it was the work of my nemesis, the creature from the black lacuna

did you hear about the potter who went into investing? she made a kiln in the market

thin pancakes are really crepey

i was so shocked when the stationery store moved

some people like to get snarky about ancient burial practices. i myself can do without the sarcophagus remarks

i had to end my project on walruses, elephants, and narwhals because i couldn’t multitusk

the gathering had expected short and meaningful remarks from me, but i showed them no pithy

i didn’t like bricklaying at first, but i discovered there was mortar love

i’ve been listening to so many audio recordings of the sounds schools of fish make, and at such a loud volume, i think it’s starting to affect my herring

i was talking a lot about getting things custom-made, but i bespoke too soon

i asked my baseball coach for more batting practice, but she was all cagey about it

i spent a lot of money to set up my laundromat but in the end it was a wash

i had a job transcribing quotes that was so tough, i had to take extra sic days

i’ve been on an all-legume diet, and it has its pulses and minuses

every mushroom story has some morel lesson

did you hear about the daoist cheesemaker? she wanted to follow the whey

what did egyptian pharaohs have for brunch? amulets

i’ve been studying the linguistics and logic of the three stooges’ shorts, and i think it all comes down to some antics

i don’t brag about my leather goods too much. i try to be supple about it

vikings were quite good with social cues because they knew how to read the runes

i was trying to get something to put a bouquet in, but the florist was being unusually e-vase-ive

i had a fright when i checked the weather. i caught sight of my doppler-gänger

did you know the ocean has its own version of santa claus? if you’re bad, you end up on the nautilus

both my parents were carpenters, and i had a really roof upbringing

not even christian newsletters are immune to the downturn in the media business. i heard it’s publish or parish