When I didn’t think I was one of the “girls,” I was winning in the boys’ game. It all started to change right when I fell in love with a boy. But there was no girls’ game, except for marrying a rich man. open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

​https://nothingbut30.substack.com/p/22-my-one-day-as-an-internet-celebrity

At least some people need to hear this: you don't have depression; you just deserve to be in a better situation. open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

Taking a pill is much easier than fixing life problems, e.g., getting a divorce, a new job, moving elsewhere. But "easy" doesn't mean "right." nothingbut30.substack.com/p/21-i-dont-...

The Fates is the best playwright. She creates tragedies from happiness. She seduces lovers to build the most tender trap -- before they could realize -- so that one can ruin the other, slowly, and in the name of "love." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

We often assume that intimacy guarantees understanding—that sharing a roof, a bed, a life should make perspectives converge. What a fantasy. open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

The first night home from the hospital, I moved slowly toward the toilet, my vulva aching with every step. As I bent my knees, urine surged out without warning, splashing over the seat and pooling across the tile. I froze, and then slowly sat on the toilet seat. open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

We need mothers in workplaces, because--new essay--Only a Mother Knows: on standpoint, care, and limits of knowledge and understanding. nothingbut30.substack.com/p/18-only-a-...

Daughter: Everybody loves everybody in this family! Ryan: I'll teach you how to write that in predicate logic when you turn 7. Me: For all x... Do? Ryan: We don't use the do operator here. Me: Except for between Dad and Mom? Ryan:

When your child says you're not a very good mom. open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

Motherhood.

Each choice I made to give up my own opportunities so that we can keep together as a family was obvious at the time, but inch by inch, they took away my career, identity, and the worst of all: confidence. open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

When my toddler said I'm not a very good mom... open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"Some schools educated students; mine manufactured them." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"Motherhood feels like a slow disappearance—of sleep, solitude, even air. But in that disappearing, something else expands: the number of hearts beating because of you." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"Meritocracy is an illusion, a myth, a mechanism to trick us working-class apes into working harder for those who can tell good stories." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"It takes something special to make New York subway say 'Don’t be someone’s subway story.'" nothingbut30.substack.com/p/15-when-do...

“When you’re employed, you don’t care about the tangible returns of the work you do. You get paid. That’s all you need to know.” open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"... he lost most of his teeth—toothache after toothache—because it pained him even more to pay to visit a dentist." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

It's hard to make a difference when people Google you and only find Bluesky posts.

"Jane texted me out of the blue a few days ago. your due date’s close right how’s it going I’m good thanks how are you how’s the kiddo we’re good she just started kindergarten that’s good" open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"It’s just hard—for working parents, for stay-at-home ones, for all of us trying to do the right thing for our children—even when they’re the ones asking why." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

I don't know what the rest of the US would do when a stranger -- a tall big man -- talked very loudly (almost shouted) at a pregnant woman who's alone. But I know what New Yorkers on a subway did. This is my favorite essay so far. nothingbut30.substack.com/p/15-when-do...

11 | The Academic Job Market (updated with tips) nothingbut30.substack.com/p/11-the-aca...

"We were in an elevator. I was on my way to my husband’s office on the third floor..." nothingbut30.substack.com/p/14-an-affa...

"Economists are especially good at telling positive stories about themselves. The economy is one of those complex systems that refuses to give a solid causal story. If they had figured out how to prevent recessions, we wouldn’t have them. Yet we do." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"Moms are moms. You tell them to stop; they pause. Then they secretly resume, hoping you won’t notice." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

Are you fumbling this morning to dress your child as well? open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

"In the early 1990s where I grew up, a birthday cake was an exotic thing. Most were made with cheap non-dairy cream, so they had this strange glossy white sheen and never seemed to melt." open.substack.com/pub/nothingb...

One of the usually angry-sounding essays of mine. It starts with an argument for a cynical position, and lands on a tender message that "no one should blame themselves." nothingbut30.substack.com/p/13-the-myt...

Just texted my husband: In case you wanna know how I am feeling. He immediately called back... Awwww...