‘All I wanna do is *bang bang bang* and-a *click-click ching-ching* and kill chalamet

wow I’m such a petty bitch sometimes and I live for it

I HATE HIM I YATE HIM I HATE HIM

I want to rip out Timothée’s little mustache hairs one by one, then feed them to him until he chokes. Then, I will use a bone saw to cut out his spindly little ribs and fashion them into toothpicks. I want to dry out his entrails into jerky and feed them to a rabid pack of wolves. I want to see pain

I’m so GRATEFUL that the internet is turning in that little twerp Chalamet. I’ve wanted to punch him square in his smug little face for years.

hear me out: the geico gecko

FUCK MY PLURIPUSSY WITH A RAKE, MOM!

Oh, to possess the ability to feel every clit and prostate stimulation of every being on earth at the same time. If I were one of the ‘joiners’ on that show, I’d never stop pounding our prostates and flicking the beans! What overwhelming mirth could come from such collective masturbatory force !!

I could go for a nice collective fucking in the pluribussy

did someone lace lanthimos’ and aster’s wheathies with lsd when they were little?

god rhea seehorn is a master class in straight man relatable character work

the choral music world be stuffy af sometimes

BABY JUST BOOKED HER FIRST PROFESSIONAL NTC OPERA GIG IN 10 YEARS AHHHH

*strapped to a gurney, en route to a long term psychiatric treatment facility* “YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM PLUGGING A.G. … HE IS INNOVATIVE, VERSATILE, WHIMSICAL BUT MEASURED… AT TIMES VAGUELY MOZART-IAN IN MELODIC APPROACH AND THE FUTURE OF CREATIVELY INFORMED DIGITAL PRODUCTI— *ambulance door slams*

I have a virtual date tonight with a Canadian and I’m just praying to every deity it goes well so maybe I can get tf out of this shithole country and go frolic with a fabulous maple gay in peace

I’m just fully on the ag cook train like on repeat no lube gaping & all idk he’s so endearing?? like it’s quirky sincerity mixed with obsessive precision and vast uninhibited imagination

my father passed away 17 years ago today… hard to believe. I still aspire to make him proud every day ❤️

*ecstatic

god I love this piece. I know it’s so obnoxious/lame to be this e this antic about a choral ensemble but… this recording really does take me somewhere serene and whole. James MacMillan really ate his Wheaties when crafting this one. I also *famously* love a soprano.

*sigh* I guess I’m not leaving this pc music phase any time soon… it’s just so meticulously crafted

I hope I garner enough cultural relevancy in my life that the future rupaul equivalent awkwardly rolls me out on a wheelcha- …erm, throne on national television

okay I need to get it together and step my pussy up asap

Happy WW3 everyone! 🙂🙏 stay safe, and as always, fuck Israel and imperialism.

hi can we please retire the R slur for things we find annoying or inconvenient, especially in a professional setting in front of 20+ colleagues/volunteers thank you so v much CC: my church choir director

I love an Episcopalian who likes to fuck!!

god, be at mine 🍑, and at my departing. AH, MEN

fact: my closeted thirteen yr old self used to tell people that my celebrity crush was Idina Menzel

I have, in fact, fucked around and found out

honestly always hate April, glad she’s leaving. May better fuck up my bussy and leave me gooped and gagged and ready for cum! Spring has sprung and I’m H O R N Y 💦🌸

I will also add that while I liked it at the time, it’s probably fair to assert that Joanne is her weakest studio LP to date (I still love belting Diamond Heart in my car tho 💖)

listened to the entire Gaga discography at work today and my main takeaway is that she sings about touching herself… a lot, across all albums LOL. I guess the key to prodigious & innovative artistic output is mucho masturbation!

Artpop is actually so good though?? You 2013 gays were messy

kinda feel bad for the girl that Katy Perry kissed - I hope she’s doing okay 💗

my favorite song lyric is ‘I’ll kill your fucking dog for fun so don’t push me’ because it’s whimsical and exuberant but also threatening, grave, concerning, and dark

does anyone even like arrietty

suzie toot out of drag is Juliette Lewis

only the extra traumatized gays vibe with high as hope.

my earth day was good! I fucked a tectonic plate and let some deep ocean vents breed my hole, did some docking with petunias, rode a tree chode, gooned on the great pacific plastic island, cuddled a polar bear, ate out an orangutan, went skydiving with Greta T. before she pegged me with paper straws

I think when I dig deep into my homezkeweled roots I can find a sort of limitless bliss with my own company. I can forage social fascination from even the starkest solitude - for the longest time I had to. Kimmy Schmidt has nothing on me.

I wonder if Aaron Copland enjoyed anilingus

hello I will be plunking pedantic atonal ‘jazz’ harmonies for the 4seeable future plz pray

anyway, while we are on the subject of gay, I made the mistake of opening the insta feed at my church job and a beautiful ass filled the screen for 2.5 terrifying seconds as the sweet old volunteer next to me leaned in to ask me a question. Dear lord

(TW petty/resentful) update: my homophobic ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’ and ‘keep an open mind for gods plan’ friend from college is now parading around with their new spouse on socials like it’s a marketing/propaganda campaign for heterosexuality, yet it’s somehow the gayest thing I’ve ever seen

the metropolitan opera can suck on my titties (complimentary)

no but I quite literally found a deeper well

Welp I just broke my three month celibacy streak and I gotta say that while I’m nowhere near the heaux I was in my twenties, I am still very much a Sexual Creature™

I shaved my mustache off and now I swear I resemble a turtle

ew

I guess eye yam the Elaine Stritch of lyric tenors

forever toxically falling for mid str8 men, guess I really do need a lobotomy :/