No, you're wasting your time on this instead of writing lyrics

Rly don't like the sticky white stuff that comes out of the caulk tube

Achieved 80% of what I need to do today already lol

Absolutely delighted to hear that they're going to edit the horrible Prue Leith out of all the old Bake Off episodes and digitally replace her with CGI Nigella. They couldn't do this kind of thing if it was still on the BBC

This is so so good youtu.be/4wlDz2jwrqI?...

Painting a tiny child's tiny bedroom, nothing to do for like an hour until the first coat dries, send help

Monday then isn't it

Saw the moon for a minute. Gone again now

Shaved ma heid

Lol

Some new charity shop art

U moan about it raining for the fifth day in a row and somecunts like 'oh but youre scottish doesnt it rain literally every second of every day there?' Yes it's pure cartoon physics anywhere north of berwick 👍

Finished work catastrophically early, need entertaining

Old pic for #fcf mayb more to follow

They're closing the flood gates at 7pm

Taking more nudes than i can realistically post, can we get them in the dms already pls

I'm seeing Sauron everywhere I go

Harry Hill's podcast is genuinely nightmarish (positive)

Nah but like imagine being a teenager fannying around with a camera and then your mum's like 'we have to get these published in a book!!!'

Emergency spice girls reunion in 5, 4...

Lmao they're just pouring old gloss straight onto the planet now. How do I burn down the restaurant downstairs without damaging my own flat?

The entire thing was a cynical smash n grab. Tv industry is on its absolute arse, NOBODY wants to run Dr Who, Davies saw an opportunity to comission himself for sixteen-odd half arsed scripts and let his mates' production company sook up some yank cash. Everything is going as originally intended.

Soapy #mcm

It's been foggy for about five days now and I quite like it

My favourite colour? Gotta be orange

am a spooky fuckin bastart on ma spooky bastart walk if yer feart o spooky bastarts suck ma spooky bastart cock

More layers than a shrek

Morning then #fcf

I'm a very bad "scottish nationalist" in that I hate and despise pretty much all of our culture but my god am puttin away shortbread like nobodys business rn

🍂🍃🪾

80 year old customer with a cataract in each of her eyes has decided to drive into town in a snowstorm 🤦🏻

Back @ ih

New Foetus album, fave Foetus album and some stickers showed up thanks mister gee thirlwell

Watching old never mind the buzzcocks

I rly do use distortion like you're supposed to use reverb lmao

Wrapping presents is horrid

They're going rly hard on the grinch this year

Dw post animal gore but I think I've just stumbled upon the headless corpse of the local heron

Last day

Frozen food delivery for restaurant dumped on my stairs, take it down to them and they're looking at me like

Dan Drough: hairstylist to the Stars

Been searching for shiny inkay in legends za for like three weeks and then go's like here mate have a fifth one

The lengths people have gone to over the last decade+ to try to graft a personality onto this total non-character will never cease to amaze me

A widny wanny be Anywhaur else bit Heeeeeyur A widny wanny change (a widny wanny change) Anyhin at aw (anyhin oh aye)

Surprise surprise this is gash

Changing my name to Marvin Dioxide

Unfortunately I cannot watch The War Between The Land And The War Between The Sea as I have neither a tv license or any interest in the premise x

Not even bein a twat but I got halfway thru There Is No Antimemetics Division yesterday and then completely forgot about it until I accidentally clicked on the books app just now

I've always liked Kylie but that christmas song is so horrible that I now think she should be used for medical experiments