The way I can't get a job I'm qualified for or even overqualified for makes me understand why old-timey bank robbers got out of jail and would immediately go rob another bank. Like yeah, that's what their training was in...

If you can't handle me at my wataa, then you don't deserve me at my chudai

(getting a slack notification outside of work hours) "this BETTER be a goddamn dick pic!"

Been seeing "this looks like a made-for-TV movie" on Letterboxd a lot lately and hmmm do you think maybe that's because you waited until it left theaters so you could watch it on your TV??!

Millennials will reply, "Am I supposed to know who these people even are??!" to a Pop Crave post and it's like...no, you're clearly old *Me, I'm millennials

Harry Whittington welcoming Dick Cheney to hell

My first OF collab, "The first OF collab filmed in VistaVision" is filmed in VistaVision

Locktober is locktover

I got played

trick or treat??? more like trick or trade the way y'all are picking up one or the other in your slutty little costumes tonight!!!

I went to the doctor today and the new gay phlebotomist kept calling me "sir" like excuse me, I'm your sister!!!

Yeah, I love AI The AI:

Stretched thin?! No baby, I'm stretched thicc

Say what you want about Taylor Swift's lyrics, but she's got one thing about the human experience right: the lights in New York City are SO bright

What is Miley Cyrus' catchiest lyric and why is it "Boom clap, boom de clap, de clap. Boom, boom clap, boom de clap, de clap"??!

Ex situationship??? Back in my day, we called that Somebody That I Used to Know

Some days you play the NYT Games, and other days the NYT Games play you 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

You're telling me there's virgin cock in this tale??!

When oomf logs the same obscure movie on Letterboxd at the same time as another oomf

Y'all I saw After the Hunt last night and it's CRIMINAL Chloë Sevigny isn't on the poster because her wig is THE star

I like where this is heading...

Kiss of the Spider Woman looks great, but nothing will ever top the time I saw a staging of it at a state college in New Jersey starring a now-famous OF bottom (he was excellent btw)

Not sure where else they can go with this franchise

"it's cutting season!!!" ...quick follow-up question: calories or wrists?

Gold star gay (has never had sex with a woman) Platinum star gay (has never touched a vagina) Palladium star gay (has never used a condom)

🎶 We're just two friends, Two good friends, Two best friends, Sharing one wonderful day! 🎶

The oomf to oomfwb to oombff pipeline

If Tumblr banned AI like they banned porn, Yahoo would make their billion dollars back

Looks like someone already gave up on Locktober smh

For years I've been thoroughly invested in this gay influencer couple who were renovating a NYC apartment and a beach house, then they just up and moved back to Australia??! Like that's not allowed! That's not the parasocial relationship I agreed to!! I was expecting kids!!!

The 0.5x wide angle phone camera needs to be taken away from certain gays. You know who you are

A good hairline is the new Mustang, but male pattern baldness still gives fuck you money

Ukraine should agree to a "land swap" with Russia and then give them Chernobyl

We need an official OED definition for fruit salad because banana and pineapple do NOT belong in one. They're so overpowering! Melon, berries, and grapes are fine since they keep to themselves, but if you don't like pineapple, tough luck everything tastes like pineapple now!

You think Comey regrets his little October surprise yet???

I kinda want to join RaptureTok just to spread misinformation like oh you can't get raptured if you're circumcised or if you do get sky abducted the Democrats are allowed to euthanize your pets

There are autism announcements everywhere for those with the eyes to see

French Bulldogs were invented to teach gay influencer couples about medical debt

When you unsubscribe from emails and they send you an email saying they're sad to see you go

People who can't be bothered to write even a one sentence review on Letterboxd...what's the point? If you give a great movie 1 star or a bad movie 5 stars, you're gonna need to show your work. I know you've got a hot take in there somewhere!

Everyday is fat cock friday when you're unemployed

The most fuckable thing a gay man can do is neglect his social media presence for months on end

So MSNBC fired Matthew Dowd for paraphrasing Shakespeare, The Washington Post fired Karen Attiah for directly quoting the deceased, and now Jimmy Kimmel got canceled for presenting the facts as they stood. We're realizing the limits of free speech under capitalism and it's not looking good...

Whenever I think things can't get any worse, they do. But then I tell myself, "It could be worse, you could have kids!" and I feel a little bit better 😌

Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score

When a toilet automatically flushes while you're still sitting on it like okay little miss bidet wannabe that was gross 💦💦💦

They need to invent a bushless corn on the cob because going to town on it is embarrassing enough then you got corn pubes in your teeth??? Undignified

2023: Barbie pink 2024: Brat green 2025: Luigi beige

My mother just heard about Robert Redford. It's noon 🍷