Wake me if this somehow turns out not to have been a complete and utter waste of our time. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

You wanna hear about scary? I keep forgetting that I've moved from Eastern Time to Central Time, and for a moment I thought we had an hour-and-a-half left of this movie. Relieved. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

You're too late, Bill. We should have started with you. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

Okay, so the movie doesn't know what just happened either. Thought it was me. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

"Thank you for flying Narrative Drama Airlines." #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

Definitely dump the germophobe and hook up with the adorable Gothette. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

"How long before he starts decomposing?" "Y'know what? I'll take that ring back." #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

The thing is, I like the cast in this. They're all doing as well with this script as any human being could. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

William Shatner, all is forgiven. Please come back, and bring the gremlin. 2 wings, no waiting. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

This is organized, voluntary self-flagellation is what it is. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

There's an actor in the cast named David Banner. No, not that one. We should be so lucky. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

I have had it with these muthafuckin c-list actors on this muthafuckin plane. Everybody strap in and text your agent. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

They gotta get my ass into the seat SOMEHOW. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

Anybody else catching the stink of "romantic couple re discover love for one another in the face of supernatural death" plotline? #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

And last night I was watching a new episode of "Fallout." Life can be so capricious and cruel. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

Special visual effects by Two Guys With A Refurbished Video Toaster, Ltd. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

#Gwengoolie may be the only thing that'll help me get through this. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

If it weren't for the fact that I actually recognize a few of the cast, I'd think this was made by The Asylum. But no. Oh crap. What if it's... WORSE than The Asylum? That's just not possible, is it? IS IT??? SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!! #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

Wonder whether anyone in tonight's movie speaks Jive. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

*scans cast list* Okay... Shatner... Shatner... Nope. He's not in it. Well, as least there's that. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

I'll say one thing about "Flight 7500" I'm looking forward to: Ryan Kwanten, who you may remember as Jason Stackhouse on HBO's "True Blood." Haven't seen a lot of him lately. #Svengoolie #HouseOfSvengoolie

I've never seen this movie. I've never *heard* of this movie. When that happens, there's often a very good reason. I'm about to find out what it is tonight on #HouseOfSvengoolie. Hold me. I'm ascared. #Svengoolie

Am I happy to be a union man? You bet your ass. Am I happy to have a week of paid time off all next week? See the answer to question 1.

So nobody asked me (they know I have a diabolically insane love for almost all things #StarTrek), but I'll say it anyway: #StarfleetAcademy is delightful. Combadge drop.

Now hear this, all #StarTrek #StarfleetAcademy haters: You are hereby ordered and required to report to the nearest Sickbay for an emergency pole-ectomy.

As the saying goes: if everyone around you is an asshole, you're probably the asshole.

Waiting for the #Trekhate trolls to start complaining that "sex isn't part of Gene Roddenberry's vision!" in three, two, one... #StarTrek #StarfleetAcademy reactormag.com/starfleet-ac...

“I don’t mind the beating so much, but, dammit, this was my favorite sweater!” #TheLastDriveIn

Pretty sure Telly would win.

Piss off, haters. #StarfleetAcademy #StarTrek

Yep, it's always a unique pleasure to see someone come in here claiming than an unreleased movie/show/album/song/whatever is going to suck. I wish *I* was psychic!

#Lucasfilm's new plan seems to me absurdly simple and logical: 1. Drop the producer who's better at business than creative; 2. Hire replacement charged *only* with business matters; and 3. Hire a proven talent and #StarWars fan to handle *only* creative matters. It's been working for James Gunn.

This week's #Svengoolie: Peter Cushing! Christopher Lee! Freddie Francis! It's not #Hammer, but an incredible simulation from #Amicus, Hammer's number one competitor in the 70s! Based on a story by Robert Bloch, whose middle name should be legally changed to "Author of PSYCHO." It's "The Skull"!

LIFEFORCE! Only the single greatest film ever committed to celluloid. I will not be taking questions. #Svengoolie

Ah, Aubrey Morris. It's not a true British movie without you, mate. #Svengoolie

I don't know if Sven will go into this, but director Seth Holt died of heart failure 5 weeks into a 6-week shoot. Hammer head Michael Carrerras took over to finish the movie, and noted that he had a helluva time getting Holt's footage to cut together. #Svengoolie

He's not listed in the credits or on IMDB, but that sure as hell looks like Anthony Stewart Head to me. #Svengoolie

What the hell is George Coulouris doing in this picture? #Svengoolie

So we're all agreed: we want the idiot boyfriend to die first, right? #Svengoolie

Sewer-cough-hag-cuss. #Svengoolie

It's SARCOPHAGUS! #Svengoolie

Hammer never got its Bandage Operas quite right; this is the least typical and, to me, the most interesting. #Svengoolie

In other words: boobs and blood! Just what we like. #Svengoolie

Okay, kids; it's Hammer Time! #Svengoolie

In case you wonderered: Muriel Landers ("Tiny") had a successful career acting, singing and dancing. Stooges producer Jules White wanted to star her in a new series of 2-reel comedies, but it never got past the pilot. White cast her in this as a sort of consolation prize. #MeTVThreeStooges

I like this short already, though I can't quite put my finger on why. #MeTVThreeStooges

Look on the bright side: Orange Julius Caesar got his first erection in months.

It’s a shame they don’t play baseball in the UK, because Valerie Leon had a hell of a lead off first base. #Svengoolie

I pray not. “Manos” is so toxic you need a psychogical buffer, lest you suffer permanent damage. Joel & the Bots did that for us on #MST3K; but #Sven doesn’t do movie-length commentary.

This weekend's #Svengoolie is an odd one: "Blood From The Mummy's Tomb," a Hammer adaptation of Bram Stoker's "Jewel of the Seven Stars." Maybe the oddest thing about is Valerie Leon as the mummy (and yes, this is what she looks like throughout the entire film):