OHHHH MY GAAAAAWWWWD www.thecrunchymamas.com

Come see us at the Hamdmade Market at Salem Center Mall- Now open every weekend Fri-Sun, not just holiday weekends!

BIRTHDAY SWING. BACKWARDS DEVIL. SUBLIMINAL GLOW. Is this a skincare sale or a cursed VHS tape? Use code MICHAELSDAY for 20% off. Or don’t. It’s my birthday and I’ve made peace with the devil. #CleanBeautyRitual #SwingIntoYourForties #TheCrunchyMamas #CursedButHydrated

We didn’t want to do it. We held out for five years. But now we’re paying more for ingredients, shipping, jars, dreams, and vibes. So yeah… prices went up a little. Blame capitalism. Blame tariffs. Blame greed. But don’t blame the balm. She’s innocent. #CleanBeautyCult #CascadiaResistance

CASCADIA NOW!

How to drop #Tesla stock below $200/share: “In Salem, Oregon, pro-Musk supporters waved Proud Boys flags in front of a Tesla dealership while many of them walked around wearing the group’s uniform of yellow and black clothing.” These friends of Elon Musk will ruin him. www.wired.com/story/proud-...

Top notes: wet tent, ethically sourced moss, existential longing Heart notes: campfire smoke, cedarwood, crushed feelings. Base notes: vintage vinyl, damp flannel, Nirvana playing from a Subaru at dusk “Smells like a hike that turned into a breakup but somehow made you stronger.”

She waits in the woods. Bottle in hand. Spellbound by fir and fog. The forest will reveal its secret. April 1st. 🌲💧 #CascadiaRoots #CleanBeautyRevolution #TheCrunchyMamas #PNW #ChemicalFreeSkincare #CassieCometh #ForestWitchEnergy #natural #plantbasedskincare #EmbraceTheMoss

To our trans and nonbinary friends, customers, and family: your existence is powerful, your presence is necessary, and your joy is revolutionary. #TransDayOfVisibility #TDOV #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQIA #GenderEuphoria #CleanBeautyForAll #TheCrunchyMamas

✨POP-UP INCOMING✨ Crunchy Mamas is out here at the Salem Center Mall this weekend with the full squad of clean, chemical-free skin & body magic. www.thecrunchymamas.com

Asked my sister the *newly minted Mama* for a review on her favorite product Nip Stick… 😂😂😂 www.thecrunchymamas.com

TOASTED: For when the sun finally shows! The sun peeked out for five minutes and you ran outside like a woodland goblin finally freed from the cave. And now? You’re burnt. Crispy. Lightly roasted. Pro tip: Keep it in the fridge for that OH DEAR SWEET MOTHER EARTH level of chill. Works on any burn

🔥 Inflammation? Not on our watch. 🔥 Meet Inflamed, our calming serum crafted for skin that’s feeling a little extra—whether it’s rosacea, psoriasis, or just general redness being dramatic. Packed with soothing botanicals and anti-inflammatory magic, this serum helps bring the chill.

The President is threatening to send anyone who burns a Tesla to the scary prison in El Salvador. Luckily, I've never burned a Tesla car and have no plans to. Clearly it's not a good idea! I do, however, plan to never ever buy one. Is that terrorism too?

Your favorite skin-saving sidekick just leveled up. 💥 Our newly reformulated Scab Stick is now made with candelilla wax, making it officially the latest 100% vegan + cruelty-free product in our lineup. That's right, NO BEES WERE HARMED IN MAKING THIS! 🐝❌🐰❌🌱✅

Save big on closeout inventory, limited time! www.thecrunchymamas.com

Nuff said, innit?

QUIT IT WITH THE BEEF TALLOW, FOLX. www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...

Hello, valued participant. It has come to our attention that you may be experiencing unauthorized feelings of stress, overheating, or general emotional turbulence. This is not ideal. Crunchy Mamas is here to assist.

🌸 Spring Savings Blowout! 🌸 Out with the old, in with the glow! We’re making room for fresh new goodies, which means deep discounts on some of your favorite Crunchy Mamas skincare. 🚨 Limited stock, ridiculous deals—once they’re gone, they’re gone! Don’t miss out on this!

Hello, valued skincare participant. As per company policy, you are required to maintain optimal skin hydration levels at all times. Crunchy Mamas Silky Smooth Lip Balm has been provided to you in JUMBO .50 oz tubes to ensure prolonged moisture and a non-greasy experience.

🌀 Stuffy Noses, Meet Your Match – Menth Head to the Rescue! 🌿💨 Feeling like a human fog machine? Can’t remember what breathing through both nostrils feels like? 😩 Say hello to Menth Head, the ultimate congestion-busting, cold-fighting, breathe-easy miracle balm! www.thecrunchymamas.com

These are the senators who collaborated with the GOP. Schumer Fetterman Cortez Masto Durbin King Shaheen Gillibrand Schatz Hassan Peters Don’t let them forget it. No peace for them.

3.14 reasons to treat your skin today: 1️⃣ It’s your largest organ—respect it. 2️⃣ Our products are 100% chemical-free, unlike that mystery filling in store-bought pies. 😬 3️⃣ Your skin deserves to be smoother than a perfect circle. 🔵 .14️⃣ Because math said so. www.thecrunchymamas.com

🦶🌿 Got Dried Out Feet? We’ve got you covered! Meet Crusty Foot, the ultimate foot balm for turning cracked heels and dry spots into buttery-soft perfection. 🧈✨ thecrunchymamas.com/crusty-foot/ LINK IN BIO

Share if you agree. 🇨🇦 🇲🇽

This Women’s History Month, we’re honoring the power, resilience, and brilliance of women everywhere with 20% off your order! 🎉 Use code: WOMENS2025 at checkout for 20% OFF all the clean, botanical-powered skincare your heart desires. Because self-care isn’t just a luxury—it’s a legacy. LINK IN BIO

This Women’s History Month, we’re honoring the power, resilience, and brilliance of women everywhere with 20% off your order Use code: WOMENS2025 at checkout for 20% OFF all the clean, botanical-powered skincare your heart desires.

gofund.me/bbd42f75 Hey friends! Please do us a solid and share this! Donations will help us expand our reach as well as expand into new product lines. Every little bit helps us to meet our sustainability goals! visit us www.thecrunchymamas.com to see what we are all about! Thanks, Amber & Michael

NEW: Senator Marshall (R-KS) RUNS AWAY, fleeing his own town hall after being asked about DOGE firing Veterans. MAKE HIM GO VIRAL.

🚨 NEW: Wow, Trump's former VP Mike Pence just called Trump out for lying about Ukraine.

I mean… yeah, isn’t it obvious? Say goodbye to dry skin! www.thecrunchymamas.com

Welp, he’s significantly bigger these days, but still just as distracting/demanding. Harshest boss I have ever worked for, dude yells all day long “FEEEED MEEEE!!”

The Revolution WILL be Televised. Monday, February 17th. events.pol-rev.com @polrev.bsky.social #50501movement #politicalrevolution #buildtheresistance

Last day to save on your VD order!! www.thecrunchymamas.com 15% Off w/ code VD2025

Salem and Portland, OR #fiftyfiftyone #50501

Maybe you already know us by our old moniker... probably not. We are the proud makers of small batch all natural skincare produced in solar powered facilities. Link in bio.

MOOD: F* YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME ELORN MURK