Jimmy Kimmel getting fired feels like my heart stopped beating… just like a 20 year old soccer player after his Covid vaccine.

REMEMBER: COVID vaccines are still available for all do you that are afraid of getting a cold. Talk to your healthcare professional and let them know.

Tyler Robinson has killed more people than COVID

Tulsi Gabbard is coming after me. I’m nervous… I feel like a 20yr old soccer player with myocarditis (not directly related to the vaccine) static.wixstatic.com/media/ea5f86...

Hulk Hogan and Ozzy Osborne weren’t vaccinated…sad situation

How many COVID boosters have you all had now?

I guess Israel knew that Iran had a Covid vaccine manufacturing facility and needed to destroy it to save the world.

President Macron was allegedly caught on camera with a bag of cocaine. I have inside knowledge that that this is untrue. He has been a test subject of the newly developed vaccine taken nasally which we have been trialling for the next launch of Covid later this year.

Thank you for sharing this Carl! Do not accept the Normalization of Untruths. There are too many parody accounts that you should actively ignore. Parody accounts are the devil’s work.

RFK Jr has absolutely no right to interfere in the COVID vaccine booster distribution while trying to demand Americans take healthy vitamins instead! Americans are known around the world for being unhealthy and overweight. Don’t try to change us Robert!

Mr. Pierre Poilievre, I would like to formally offer you a new role working with my team in Wuhan. We have an exciting new project that we would like your help with.

Congratulations Canada and to Mark Carney on being elected Prime Minister of Canada. It’s nice to see that Canadians learned nothing from my COVID experiment. Some people aren’t capable of learning from their mistakes.

These tariffs infuriate me! I have always been someone who puts small businesses first! Remember during COVID?

On my way to Wuhan as I’m working on a new project with the team. Anyone want to guess what the project is?

Cory Booker had a record-setting Senate speech that lasted longer than the symptoms of my first bout of COVID.

I know I’m doing it right with Bluesky as I have more accounts blocking me than following me.

I will have a life-long gratitude to Former President Autopen! He/They saved me from potential jail time.

I would suggest N95 masks and to keep the cats a minimum of 6 feet apart.

It’s been 5 years since COVID shut down businesses for weeks/months, some people were forced out of work, lost livelihoods and had their rights taken away by the government. It’s ok though because I am significantly richer now than I was prior to COVID.

I guess the government finally realized COVID may have been a total sham. apnews.com/article/hhs-...

Every time I’m on an airplane I have someone sitting next to me with an N95 mask that smells like a mix of incense, thrift store and body odor. I’m so lucky!

It’s almost like it is “impossible”.

Whenever I feel nervous about a Covid outbreak, I hangout in my Tesla with Bioweapon Defence mode turned on. It’s like wearing five N95 masks at the same time. Elon is protecting us all from Covid.

How sweet!! I received this from an admirer today!

I’ve known Shi Zhengli for many years and she was an integral part of the launch of Covid in 2020. I’m sure she will do a phenomenal job releasing this new Coronavirus to the world in 2025! So proud of her.

I’ve been working on this for 5 years…

Donald Trump has been President for just over 1 month now, so I suggest everyone goes out and loads up on toilet paper. It’s almost time for my newest creation to be released.

Kendrick Lamar’s halftime show felt as painful as getting my nose jammed with a COVID test kit

PRO TIP: If you have Covid, your can trick the home test kit to get negative results by using it rectally!

It is clear from this photo that RFK is unhealthy. Antivaxxers are clearly unhealthy compared to the rest of us.

Oops, I guess I misspoke

I urge the United States Congress to not confirm RFK Jr as he will most likely expose me for who I really am and what I may (or may not) have done

Today is the day that Robert F Kennedy Jr exposes all the lies I told the public during the COVID pandemic. I hope he doesn’t bring up the Pangolin.

Nothing makes me more proud that to see all these wonderful and protected people from COVID. This is how highly intellectual people behave.

Who else is excited for the Wuhan Lab’s next release? It reminds me of waiting outside a music store when I was younger for the newest album.

The Blanket Pardon I received from President Biden is because I committed absolutely no crimes since 2014…right?

If you trust this, you don’t trust science…and I am science.

Chiefs Win!! Chalk another one up for the vaccinated quarterbacks!

Profiles with 3 names are the funniest.

Today, I am cheering for pro-vaccine quarterback Patrick Mahomes and the KC Chiefs vs the anti-vax quarterback Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills. I will not cheer for anti-vax quarterbacks nor their teams. Also, because I can’t stop listening to Taylor Swift’s newest album.

My Security Detail were a bunch of anti-vaxxers anyways.

I’ve always enjoyed visiting Russia..love the pierogies.

I’m thinking I might launch a FAUCI memecoin just like TRUMP. Will you buy it?

I’ve always really liked Rand Paul

I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Pardon Me?

Good Morning Bluesky!! Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I can finally sleep well knowing that all the crimes I (may or may not) have committed have been pardoned.

I finally made the cover of People Magazine I am honored

Except me

All of the crimes I may or may not have committed since 2014 are now pardoned! *Phew*

Thanks to the preemptive pardon I received today from President Biden, I got away with everything.