Nine goals for all the inches 🥵

What color Hollander? What size? Inquiring minds want to know...and capitalize

(1/5) #RedUmbrellaDay, or the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, is one of the most important days in the sex working calendar.

Sex work is work. Make it legal so there are protections.

The fact people have not bought this for a white elephant is making me very sad

Dildos and The Illiad. I feel like Homer would approve.

You know it's cold when your boogers freeze inside your nose

New pasties!

You tip your strippers. Tip the people who get them there. (Me. Tip me when I sell you lingerie or toys.) #SexShop #SexShopShenanigans #SexWorkIsWork

To the man who bought lingerie for his wife in a size too small so she would lose weight - I hope she divorces your ass

I have had two people come in high as kites today, one of which I had to kick out. Fun day and it's only half done!

Couple walks in Woman "yeah it's cold. Give me your hoodie" Man "then I'll be cold" Woman just gives him That Look and he hands over the hoodie off his body. Good boy.

Dude bro "do you have ropes and stuff?" Takes him to said "ropes and stuff" Dude bro "do you have cheaper ropes?" Bro. You are tying a person up you gotta get the good ropes not the shit from the lumber store. He left without buying anything. God bless his partners skin

Support your local dildo dealer. Shop local! #SexShop #SmallBusinessSaturday #SexWorkIsWork

The hardest part of my job, by far, is choosing the music for the day

For the love of all that is holy,,,SPIT IS NOT LUBE

Me carrying my ice coffee in ungloved hands in 10 degree weather: "my fingies are cold"

There is nothing more boring than a sex shop that hasn't had a client in 2 hours

Now you too can say erection in 5 different languages

The bread shop next door just dragged in a giant bag of bread and cookies...it's a good day

Good boys are seen and not heard. If you need some help with that just let me know 😜

Labubus are EVERYWHERE

Suns out! Tits and dicks out too please!

Customer "do you sell lube?" Nope. We are a sex shop that doesn't sell any lube.

Today's music is "90s rainy day coffee house". Let's see how long it takes the guys in the tattoo shop to come up and beg me to change it

Do y'all have your fundies for the holidays yet?

Look at these Christmas cuties 🤩🥰

Absurd things alaskans say: Anything above -10 is fine Anything below -10 is cold

Just gonna borrow a line from that EMT guy...NO

In positive news - the winter light is hitting our disco ball!

Sex shop etiquette lesson - keep your hands off each other's no no zones. Yeah we are a sex shop but I did not consent to be a part of your dynamic. #SexShop #PDA

Someone buy me this shirt. Let me advertise my ability to ruin lives!

Favorite overheard quote of the day - "it takes me a long time to be a slut okay?" A man to his partner

A man who said, "Sex work is work," just won the NYC mayoral election. ❤️

Please let me fin dom the men that come in looking for masturbation toys

Watch out world. I wear spikes now.

Happy Halloween from a French Kiss! 💋

Bringing a banana as a snack for your shift at a sex shop is a real dumb life choice

Me trying to chug a 40 oz bottle of water so I can have another cup of coffee...I don't have a problem

Breaking: local Tesco pumpkin is thicc

The reject basket (aka the display ones that we don't have in stock right now) #SexShop

It's not a monster dick, but it's trying real hard #SexShop #MonsterMash

@lovense-official.bsky.social WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN PLAY 2048 WITH A DILDO?! #SexShop

Happy Halloween Rush to all those who have procrastinated getting their outfits!

The Monster Mash was an orgy and you can't change my mind.

No. You may not go into the dressing room with your partner. It should be obvious why. #SexShop

People always ask me what it's like living in Anchorage and the answer is it's 8 am and pitch black. It's also 34 degrees and I'm only wearing a blazer 🤷‍♀️ #BringOnTheSnow #Anchorage

Grinders or strokers not your style? Don't worry! There are strap ons! They weren't very creative with the names though. #SexShop #MonsterCock