The game's gone woke.

If Karen Carpenter was still with us, I'd tell her I've just mowed the lawn and increased insect activity at ground level, momentarily increasing their food supply. I'm no expert though.

If I really was in a position to 'shop like a billionaire', I'd probably have it arranged that anyone appearing in a Temu pop-up ad was, at the very least, horrifically maimed.

Radio at work is borked. It's stuck on Absolute80s. They've just played McCatney's frog chorus for some reason and it emptied the shop in about 45 seconds.

I'm hoping it'll be Pope George Ringo up next to complete my Pope/Beatles Venn diagram.

People think it's the black/white smoke that announces the new Pope,but very few of us realise the traditions that have to take place before a decision is made...

Gonna post this here because I HAVE to share it somewhere... On the bus the work the bloke behind me was in the phone telling someone that he was wanting to borrow a GoPro to put in his toilet to film himself taking a shit. He insisted that this was nothing sexual...

That's the problem with Strollers... They always try to walk it in.

🎶In the meadow, we can build a snowman And pretend that he is Parson Brown🎶 Very romantic imaging that it's 2 kids pretending they're getting married, but Parson Brown was actually a sexual predator and that snowman is about to get tortured.

I'm in no way 'slut-shaming' this poor lady who's just trying to feed her 7 very hungry boys... ... but I reckon the milkman was ginger.