WHY'D Y'MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTIN', SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYONE 'ROUND YA' LEAVE! THINK, EDD! YOU'LL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE, INSIGNIFICANT LOSER IN YOUR CIRCLE! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS CRUMBLE T' DUST 'N' BLOW AWAY! EVERYONE 'N' EVERYTHING Y'KNOW WILL BE GONE!! WHAT WILL Y'HAVE AFTER A

🥑 ; I've looked in the mirror plenty of times.

ᴇᴠᴇʟʏɴ ᴅᴇᴀᴠᴏʀ. ꜱᴄʀᴇᴇɴꜱʟᴀᴠᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴅɪꜱɢᴜɪꜱᴇ. ᴡɪɴꜱᴛᴏɴ ᴅᴇᴀᴠᴏʀ’ꜱ ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ. ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴠᴇ. ꜱɴᴇᴀᴋʏ. ꜱᴀʀᴄᴀꜱᴛɪᴄ. ᴇᴠɪʟ. ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴛ. ꜰʀᴏᴍ ɪɴᴄʀᴇᴅɪʙʟᴇꜱ ɪɪ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ. (ꜱꜰᴡ ʀᴘ/ɴꜱꜰᴡ ʀᴘ) (ᴀᴅᴍɪɴ ɪꜱ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴜꜱᴇꜱ ꜱʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ)

❝Been quite some time. How are you losers holdin' up?❞

🥑 ; Hey, uh, has anyone ever considered roleplaying on Tumblr before? I've tried once or twice, but the people there think they're too good for newcomers. I made an attempt to plot out something with a Simba, but the writer just ditched me. They're no better than most writers on X, in my opinion.

; temp pinned

"RUN. RUN. RUN. LUCAS! RUN TILL THE FUN ENDS!" MX HAS LEAPT FROM THE VOID.

; temp pinned "I may not be Sonic, but there are things only I can do!" -Sonic Verse RP - MVRP - Up for plotting and interactions

; temp pinned "What you see is what you get! Just a guy that loves adventure! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!" -Sonic Verse RP - MVRP - Up for plotting and interactions

ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴜᴘ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴍᴀɴ, ɪ'ᴍ ɪɴ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏꜱᴇ

(Story-Based-Account Interaction) The cleanser of Humankind, the radiation cleanses your nervous system, so close your eyes and rest... AND LET IT CONSUME YOU~ *??? Has Joined Parody Bsky* [*Phase 1 __ 77.5% Complete*]

𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦 ?

Name: Alistair Blackwood (John Davis) Age: 240 (24) Occupation: Landlord Basics: Young vampire who's very insecure about being young and feeling average so tells people he's much older. Yes, he's very opened to his tenants that he's a vampire.

🥑 ; I wish I was fictional. Life would've been WAY easier that way.

𝐇𝐞𝐡~. Eduardo's 𝘾𝙀𝙍𝙏𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙇𝙔 rubbin' off on his new-found friend 'n' partner-in-crime, it seemed~. ❝Whaddya say we start off with their 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧~? I'm 𝙎𝙐𝙍𝙀 it could use 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 tendin'~. . .❞ 𝙊𝙝, the 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐂 they would wreak together. Those three 𝙈𝙄𝙎𝙁𝙄𝙏𝙎 won't see it comin'! They only needed to acquire—

He rose a brow, stroking his chin thoughtfully. Maybe Edd wasn't so innocent. ❝𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬. . .Pretty damn specific. I assume you've done such things in the past?❞ Eduardo would have to try it out sometime, because that'd 𝙎𝙐𝙍𝙀𝙇𝙔 rile 'em up. ❝. . .𝙎𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙬 𝙞𝙩, how about you join in on the fun, kid?!❞

🥑 ; Eduardo's Waluigi-coded.

❝They're the ones provokin' me, so I'm happy to oblige!❞

Wait, so it's okay for my neighbors to annoy me, but it ain't okay for me to drop-kick 'em through the wall??????

🥑 ; First that Postal Dude writer, now this? How many weirdos have immigrated from X?? I'm not even sure who is who anymore, because all these sickos are equally worthless to me. Looks like I'll have to check my followers list for the billionth fucking time. I refuse to be associated with creeps.

🥑 ; Dude, he was the first person whom I wrote with on this account. I still feel quite uncomfortable, even though I already got used to it on X.

❝Most people can't even save 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 from trouble, so why 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 fightin' for this godforsaken world? I only use my own powers to spite those who are lesser than me, 'cuz they're all full of hot air!❞

. . . This place is such a 𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓! Where are his insufferable neighbors?? Where's 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙠?!

❝. . .𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲? You're gonna pick on a guy who can absorb your every ability? That's an even dumber decision than constantly pumpin' out live-action crap. . .❞

❝Green's the color of 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤. Can't get any better than 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩, am I right?❞

❝I didn't say there 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍'𝐓 exceptions.❞

❝I'm gonna get in trouble for sayin' this, but red's the most overrated color of 'em all. Ain't no coincidence that people who wear it usually turn out to be tryhard edgelords. If my opinion bothers ya', come at me! I won't apologize for statin' the facts! Public opinion can't 'n' won't sway me.❞

Literally every mornin' is a bad one for me, that I can tell ya'.

Ugh. Our rivals either cheat or win 'cuz of plot armor. Edd's happy-go-lucky attitude makes me sick. If only I could wipe that stupid grin off his face.

❝I know! It coulda been a nice place to live in. How can those bozos destroy somethin' so beautiful?❞

❝I may not be '𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥' like all those other schmucks, but I know what it's like t' be a bonafide jerk! 𝙔'𝙨𝙚𝙚, anyone can be a douche 𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬. All y'need to do is drop the kindness to a minimum! Sure, it may seem kinda hard at first. But eventually, you'll learn to embrace your inner asshole~.❞

❝'Cuz it's a real freakin' hoot to cause problems on purpose?❞

❝It's okay when heroes destroy other people's property, but as soon as we wanna make good use of it, everyone loses their minds!❞

Great, 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 self-righteous, controlling nag. ❝𝙋𝙛𝙛𝙛𝙩. Don't act like you're my personal 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐭, Karen. . .❞ Eduardo paused for a moment, regretting his choice of words. ❝. . .Not that someone as sensible as moi 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 therapy~!❞ He loved bragging about everything, even when it was false.

🥑 ; Eduardo's actual arc in EW is just him going through various phases. First, he's introduced as a vindictive bully, then he becomes a literal threat. And in the would-be "series finale", he turns into an angst-ridden anti-hero. He can't catch a break, and people wonder why he's angry or upset.

❝𝐇𝐦𝐦𝐦𝐦. . .Perhaps I 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 give this whole '𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧' gig another shot. All I need t' do is renovate my costume and start trainin' harder than ever before. 𝘼𝙡𝙨𝙤, I require a 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐧! Preferably one with all the qualities of a sycophant. 𝙎𝙤, if you're interested, please fill out this form!❞

Kid just needs to grow some spine. His "dear family" has already crippled him mentally. If I were in his place, I woulda killed 'em a long time ago.

❝𝐀𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲! Do I 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 like the obsessive type??❞

Oh, I've watched it! That geriatric shitstain's more unlikeable than Tord. Dunno why his family puts up with him. . .

It's about two bounty hunters who go on adventures across space. A guy named Matt got me into it after I lost a bet.

❝I don't spend my whole day stalkin' you like a crazy ex!❞ A blatant lie. He does it on a regular basis. Just not all the time.

Yeah, but they've started turnin' down shows better than the one I'm from. Ever heard o' Monkey Wrench?

I'd be 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 if we were owned by C*rtoon N*twork. 🤢

❝Thought y'liked 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 brand. 𝙃𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮, it's hard to keep up when they invent a new one every fuckin' second. . .❞

How I feel after blowin' up an entire Coca Cola factory:

❝This is 𝐦𝐲 battle. If anyone deserves to pulverize those dorks, it oughta be 𝙢𝙚!❞ They sort of have that Joker 'n' Batman thing goin' on, 'cept they're all morally gray.

❝. . .Wait, 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩. We can work somethin' out! How 'bout a show with 𝐓𝐖𝐎 main characters?❞ 𝘿𝘼𝙈𝙈𝙄𝙏! Why is it so difficult to cut Edd off from his life?! It's like he can't 𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 without 'im. . .