someone is using my beautiful cousin's photos to catfish men. her male friend saw it & rang her and was like I just saw you on tinder and frankly that's really stink that you're cheating so blatantly" cousin was like wtf, send me a screenshot? "seeking men" she is a VERY LESBIAN LESBIANISING LESBO

booking dot com just sent me their first ever email. it reads something like "Here at booking dot com you are in charge of what we send you via email. we will never send you unsolicited communications" bitch then what the fuck is this? lying ass website ass email hoes

been doing a lot of thinking today and it might be time to have a massive sook and just eat some horrid little takeaways for dinner

whatever they're doing, it's not enough. get Scott beard on the case. CCTV footage EVERYWHERE where she was last seen. Te Anihana Pomana cannot be another Grace Millane. please. I cannot stand seeing beautiful young women disappear & be found dead in the bush anymore www.rnz.co.nz/news/nationa...

the government's move to push rough sleepers and homeless people out of the auckland cbd without a plan for helping and housing them is wild. typical though. all noise, pandering to the wealthy. last time they did this I had a homeless guy move in under my house. it was a villa in epsom/mt eden

my annual reminder that kumara left in the cupboard can be dirty hoebags

may I present

guy at my local dairy is a hot sikh baddie. i mentioned that his sea-green turban was the same colour as his eyes today & he goes "I am punjabi-blessed with green eyes. what are your eyes? is it hazel?" I was like "yes I am blessed with west auckland eyes" he gave me a $1 bag of lollies for free

god I love living in a house that backs onto a park. that is sarcasm. I fucking hate it. park is currently full of male morons and I've had three fireworks land noisily on my roof since I went to bed 45 mins ago.

I HATE it when documentation is confidential. what do you MEAN I can't discuss this with seven thousand of my closest friends and my entire family? grow up

these last 3 DAYS of forced InDesign upgrades have fucked me. bid due at 12, try to export it to PDF at 10.30am - no bitch, you need to update your InDesign software NOW and it's gonna take AGES but i updated yesterday! I don't give a shit you sockwearing, baggy trackpants looking ass slut. hoebag

Sir - they're not looking you up and down because you're a black superman. they're looking because they can see your dingle dangle looking up at you

remember how in 2006 then-vice president of the increasingly horrifying USA shot his friend in the chest while shooting quail? man. that have been a huge massive quail dressed in blaze orange hunting gear. I hate it when people mistake me for a quail! anyway dick is dead now yay

I used to love reading comics. a great way to learn Japanese when I was new there & had no mates lol. comics, hiking, taiko & watching local TV was my life for a bit. but comics these days? fuck. why are the men covered in armour but the women wear flimsy dresses with a slit right up to the fanny

fuck fireworks and read this thread instead. don't forget the pākehā invaders also salted the land out of spite towards the end so māori crops would fail.

my new neighbours are so cute. they asked a couple of days ago to borrow a torch for something and I lent them my nice rechargeable Stanley torch and not only did they return it with a big bunch of grapes today but also brought my bins down the long driveway. bless. fuck I hate bringing the bins in

if you think YOU have it hard, try being ME. I've had the song from the polar pop ad from the late 1980s in my head for three days. "I'm the polar pop bear" (polar pop, polar pop) "And I live in the snow" (polar pop, polar pop) you know the rules. if I have to suffer so do you

noise cancelling headphones on. typing on phone. eating lunch at a small table alone, with my back to the door, big kitchen table & bench. I should be fine, right? surely nobody will interrupt my peace. let's call him PHILIP actually LIFTED one of my headphones off my ear & goes "just saying hi"

my friend lives in a state where abortion is illegal & her 15yo kid is hapū. if teenage girls can be forced to bear, birth & raise a child like they're an adult then the teenage boy who got them pregnant should be forced to pay child support like they're an adult. she didn't get pregnant by herself

it's weird for me that houses in USA fly American flags at their house. it's a warning here in aonz: BIGOT INSIDE if people fly the official NZ flag at their house. if you fly an all blacks flag or the flag any of the competing countries in a rugby game it's all good though. in fact it's preferable

one of my top 10 Halloween outfits. I was gutted when he removed the mask later and it turned out he was actually just some dude in a horny horse costume. for a moment there I held hope in my heart. we could have been something. we could have changed the world

I genuinely hope that people who don't vaccinate their kids against the misery & destruction of preventable diseases get these diseases themselves. not vaccinating your kids without a bloody good reason is child abuse. and Florida s ending immunisation schedules deny unvaccinated people entry to NZ

watching M3GAN 2.0 which was half filmed in NZ and screeching every time I saw the interior or exterior of a building my company delivered. god we're fucking annoying when NZ is mentioned even just to our eyeballs

could be better, could be worse, but at least I scared the shit out of 400+ little kids in my mum's street tonight for Halloween 🎃

I can't confide in a single person in my family with anything private bc the minute I hang up the phone they're growing 9 more hands so they can dial more relatives faster to tell them all my private information. still, can't complain too much, did do a sold out stand up show about them

aonz rental car businesses should require people coming straight off long-haul flights from renting cars straight away. a 24hr stand-down for some REST and SLEEP. I'm sick of seeing news of crashes with major injuries or fatalities caused by tourists getting straight off the plane into a rental car

got my dog's bum glands done at the vet as she was scooting a lot. last time, one was so packed & she was so panicked that it squirted on the door and ceiling. today we only needed 3 of us to wrestle her and hold her down and none of us ever need to go to the gym again. also she's not speaking to me

why are Americans making a fuss about what mamdami calls ppl in his whanau?? mum's & dad's siblings: aunty, uncle mum's & dad's cousins: aunty, uncle grandma's siblings: aunty, uncle mum's friend down the road: aunty nan's friend down the road: uncle neighbour who breastfed me at times: aunty

I saw a spoonbill in the estuary

I saw a spoonbill in the estuary

so obsessed with this song. the old-timey western stand-off intro, slipping into ballad then rap, the reading out of the texts, the NERVE of Lily Allen to be this good in her song Madeline. fuck yes bitch spotify.link/HGD7uY0WQXb

loving all the discourse around Lily Allen's new breakup album. fave song is Madeline. pure cimedy when her texts are read out in the song: "our relationship has only ever been about sex - there was never an emotional connection" - girl. excuse the heck out of you -

I have this new colleague who's an old Russian babushka. seems nice and doesn't constantly ask how my weekend is and what I'm doing on the weekend. or loiter by my desk to say happy hump day or happy Friday, delighted by the humour of it all while I'm frantically trying to smash out deadlines

my temporary caravan work station in this gusty wind and thunder has my colleague doing significant concerns

I am wfh in a cute caravan at my partner's place. I had to turn my mic on in a meeting to speak on something & forgot to turn it off then my dog went all silly rolling around on the bed making chomping noises & I exclaimed to all 102 attendees "who's that big fat dog rolling around like a crocodile"

anti-vax people shouldn't be allowed to hang around with vaccinated people whose herd immunity they leech off. oh you're fine because we're close enough to herd immunity so you don't think you need to play your part in it? get the fuck out of this supermarket/ cinema / playground/ RSA / school

waking up to yet another day. they just keep on coming

pussy palace by lily allen is keeping me alive today

so like, I like the sound of kids playing at the beach - but why are there always like 2-3 at mangawhai estuary who have to scream everything at 900 decibels? my mum would never have stood for it. & my nan would have sharply said "No. other people are trying to enjoy the beach too. volume DOWN"

real millennials remember when Hilary Swank tried to smuggle ***** Into NZ & tried to avoid paying the fine. naughty

we need a group strategy on how to get americans to pronounce "antaRCtica" and "alumINIum" what's the plan? or are they too far gone. I think they can be saved but I'm trying to have a positive attitude today

I bought an excellent 2nd hand book, two pairs of new shoes, some brown mascara and my favourite perfume and I STILL feel sad . I think I need to dangle a man on a frayed rope over a cauldron of boiling water

maybe you should look into the field of being a fucking idiot instead

does anyone want a sister? free to a good home, or a bad one, I don't give a shit.

one of my many, many cannula ports is really not impressed

dementia lady just poked her head between the curtain and the curtain of the guy next to me and screeches "tick tock, tick tock, porridge is nearly ready" dude and I went "thanks aunty" at the same time and she scuffed away, presumably to stir the porridge

this hospital is the worst hotel I've ever been to

it's unfair to have dementia partients in standard wards. this poor old lady has been trying to get and and down all night to fo to her daughter's dance and she can't find her outfit or get tube the thing out of her front bum and yelling HELLO! PLEASE! won't somebody help me

probably my favourite non-vein the nurse tried to put a cannula with a LONG fucking needle in my arm. it was her second go - the one she just stabbed me in the biceps. I told her which vein to use in my right elbow. she tried the left back of my hand instead. hope you like med core gore

when you're in the hospital for complications from being unable to eat, the food communication is bleak. they asked if I had dietary restrictions, I said yes, allergic to dairy and egg. that night I was brought a cheese & egg sandwich, a yoghurt, a piece of banana loaf with milk & egg in it