"what's that big white-as dog's name ow?" hi darl! her name is annie grace "why she got two names" cos I love her two times bigger than I thought I ever could "that's a mean as name. I wish I was called annie grace" I'm amanda, what's your name? "people call me JJ but my secret name is paul"

what's your current life hack mine is having a mini callipo first thing in the morning. really starts your day off in premium mode

why and how can one medium-large dog occupy an entire queen-size bed? and why did I wake up thinking "fuck it i might just sleep in the guest room" instead of telling the dog to get on her own fucking bed right next to this one

I cherish this photo of my grandma with my niece because it's the only pic I have of her not telling me to be quiet and go and play outside

Annie Grace doesn't normally like most strange men. but this guy sits down at my local gassy with his little sign and his dirty feet and smelly clothes and overgrown hair and missing teeth and he's so friendly and Annie Grace ADORES him. she goes all sooky & runs over, tail wagging

I think I'm about to transform the quality and sophistication of the competitive bid outputs at my new job. I'm giving a tour of InDesign to the other bid writers and they're all gonna cry into their Word documents and smash their keyboards when they see how powerful and fresh and clean it is

I just drove past a lady waiting for the bus at the Lincoln interchange wearing a dressing gown and slippers. she is either very, very depressed or very, very dgaf

when you want to have an avocado with your lunch but don't want it to get scrinched and bruised in your lunch bag you gotta get creative

I texted my neighbour this afternoon. it wasn't a rat it was a little golden sharpei mix puppy maybe 2-3 months old. me and her son trapped it on their deck and the poor little thing cried and did terror wees. we fed and watered her (she was so hungry and thirsty) and I posted on neighbourhood pages

I have a long list of favourite funerals but my grandma's had a few moments of hilarity. she lay in situ in the sunroom in her house for a few days so people could come from far away & pay respects. mattresses all over the house, kids running around. a kid was found dozing in the coffin with her

there should be a word for both sad and happy. like yesterday I saw this guy trying to fly a kite in low wind by himself in the park. I was walking my dog by myself in the park and she sat down to watch so we sat and watched together. I felt sad and happy

I cannot express how much I'm enjoying having my weekends to myself again. long dog walks, music festival with my mum and her best friend, grocery shopping slowly with music on headphones, mowing my lawn, beach walks, bush walks, watching shows inside under the aircon, cooking & eating what I want

what where do I donate to the photographer

the local guy I hired to put my kickboxing bag back up in the carport is 45 minutes late and counting but I don't wanna be a cunt about it to him because he has my address lol

a guy from my neighbourhood page is coming over today to help me rehang my boxing bag (paid ofc). my question is, as he's getting ready to leave, can I tag him and say "tag you're it, can't tag the tagger"

look at my shoulder

PSA that waitangi at waititi in parrs park now has weird fencing despite being a free event and also doesn't allow dogs anymore. glad I walked all the way here with my dog to find that out

there is one hole in her blanket and her ear happened to find it. I cry lol

this. is. why. we. can't. be. fucking. bothered. I made a hinge profile out of irritation and this one person I was vaguely interested in meeting cancelled 19 minutes prior. I think I'll just chill with my mum and dog and friends actually

"how's your beau" yeah nah we broke up "oh no!" it's all good actually but thanks "plenty more fish in the sea, right?" ok but all the fish are from Chernobyl, have 5 eyes, 2 sets of teeth and live in their mum's basement yelling out for 2min noodles cos they're in a critical part of their game

my new boss is a man but I think he's alright. not once has he mentioned my tee-taws

Auckland Transport urging us to take public transport over Waitangi day long weekend. also Auckland Transport:

I'm apparently going on a date this afternoon. what are the most correct questions to ask this person and what do they want from me. I'm only good at being aggressive and annoyed or very pleased and charming

I eat chickens. I will eat the table bird. but I will not eat drumsticks. My ex had a bokashi composting system that you can put bones into. we had drumsticks and the full container didn't quite close properly. blowflies got in and laid eggs at each end of each drumstick. FRILLS of eggs like this

I am so fucking angry

will trains be running for lantern festival? Feb 26 to March at manukau sports bowl. Who can tell? trying to liaise plans to attend but just cannot rely on auckland transport to do a single fucking thing right

dad, I know you have your heart set on that car but I'm not sure you'll get finance approved for it since you're on a pension. why not try an older model "I'm sure it will be approved. I don't want to go any older than 2012" ok dad "I have been declined for finance. I may consider an older car"

it's so humid that my zz plants are all purging water from the tips of their leaves. I had to google what the fuck was going on. "guttation" ok well it's creepy with a creepy name so please end the humidity thanks

do I REALLY need to wash my hair before first day at new job

I start my new job tomorrow so need to set multiple alarms and pick an outfit. I'm thinking sea-green loose-armed top that comes in at the waist with a pair of long black loose trousers and plain navy loafer-style leather shoes. I also need to choose an expression for my face. might just wing it

lol I just put a new mattress protector on the nearly brand new bed my ex flatmate left behind and found ANOTHER dildo, lodged between base and mattress. we're nearing 40 of them now folks

another walk where she desperately wants the walk but then just lies down in the shade for a while to witness the west

on a hot day when the dog wants to walk forever you gotta get her a little ice cream and sit outside the dairy

another case of "if you don't ask, you don't get" internet has been glitchy & spotty for 4 days. I've burned through data, haven't been able to watch movies. I emailed 2degrees. they came back with a list of actions. none helped so I called. I was walked through factory reset by a very nice dude -

NOT CATHERINE O'HARA. anyone but her. only 71 and still so much gas left in the tank to give the world more joy and delight. I'm getting up to go smash things on my driveway about this 💔

NZ has fallen into a 'crisis and response' pattern on climate disaster, experts say. Billions have been spent on storm recovery since 2023, while key climate adaptation funding and planning tools have been cut. My story looking at last week’s storms www.rnz.co.nz/news/nationa...

why can't we have proper car parking buildings at parknrides by train stations? they're cheap enough to build. not everybody is within walking distance of a station. I wouldn't mind paying $4 or whatever to park there and hop on the train one day in the distant future when the trains actually work

if there's one positive thing you can say about Christopher Luxon it's that he lights up every room he leaves

me as a serious reporter in the usa: "president trump, how many times have you pooed in your pants today? do you need to go potty? ok I don't care if you don't need to, I want you to try. come on - sit down on the potty! oh excellent. what a big boy you are. now let's sing the potty song -

took annie grace to the vet to get her seroma drained (third time now) and her bum glands done as she scooted the entire length of my hallway yesterday, twice, then did a lap on the driveway on her asshole. ANYWAY, as you can imagine, she's a big fan of not going to the vet -

dad made a little igloo entrance for Annie's kennel on the deck. she is an inside & outside dog at her leisure but she likes to nibble her bones in there and the rain comes sideways. a photo of madam demanding chest stroking for good luck. and isn't my dad a handsome chap

ew how come my whole family want me to go out with someone a month after a peaceful breakup? listen bitches I just got my weekends back. shut it

my hairdresser gave me a kiss and a cuddle and gently bit my neck. am I going to turn into a hairdresser

this gorgeous thing keeps me ALIVE i swear 🐕❤️ look at the little tongue hehehe

in case needed. no worries if not

I have spent an entire afternoon filling out paperwork for my new job and not being paid for it. someone needs to be held accountable for this

I just got second notice for a month-old parking fine (parked too long on college hill interviewing for a job I declined lol) - where is the first one?? if people are going to keep stealing my mail they should start paying my fines at least

you know who else isn't getting bathroom breaks? the innocent american citizens who ICE ruthlessly shot dead in the street. fuck ICE. let them piss in empty gatorade bottles in their horrible vehicles and have to drive their piss around all day like they're professional piss chauffers

Not exaggerating when I say that the collective action in Minnesota will be studied for generations if not centuries to come

I like the zero-fee prescriptions and good specials at chemist warehouse but I don't like how something about the lighting in there IMMEDIATELY makes my eyes water like I'm a fatigued 98 year old woman doing group chair aerobics in a Bupa aged care facility on a Wednesday before afternoon tea time