I just baked a cake because cake sounded good and I’m stressed. An entire cake. This is apparently how I’m handling life right now 😂 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I asked my husband to watch The Housemaid with me and he read the description… Him: Sexy scenes. Huh, ok. Immediately starts the movie 😂😂😂

If you’re trying to decide what movie to watch next, I 100% vote for you to go with “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die” 😂😂😂

I asked Alexa to play a millennial playlist. Her response was “Playing Nostalgic Beats” and I’m not ok. 😂

Emaciation was a vibe 📸🔥🎸

I just launched my author website & wanted to share the link!👉 www.jordanmccaffrie.com If you’re into dark fantasy or romantasy with themes of mental health & strong female protagonists w/ incredible love stories & mythical creatures, my book may be for you! Signed with @librarytalespublishing

Finally caught up with all the adulting things I needed to accomplish this week. Time to curl up on my couch with my Kindle & escape for a bit 👩‍💻💁‍♀️🤓

Tonight’s dinner consists of hummus, wheat thins, waffles, and snickers ice cream because there is no one who can stop me from doing so. Highly recommend.

10/10 recommend a dance party in your kitchen to Taylor Swift using a wine bottle to lip sync every song that plays while meal prepping.

I washed, dried, and straightened my hair today and I gotta say, I view it as a win deserving of wine.

📣👩‍💻 𝐖𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡!!! 👩‍💻📣 Stop by my brand new website & take a peek! 👀 From Packages & Pricing, to Online Booking, Frequently Asked Questions, my Portfolio, and so much more (because you know I have to be a little extra 💁‍♀️) #photo #photography #semo www.jordanashleyphotos.com

These pet parent pics make my heart incredibly happy

I actually meal prepped today instead of grabbing a protein bar or door dashing food 😂 viewing this as an accomplishment 💁‍♀️

Nine years ago I married my best friend and every year gets better than the last ❤️

Edited photos all day and now I’m going to make grilled cheese, hang out with my hubby & play super smash while drinking copious amounts of wine with my millennial playlist in the background. Life is good ✌️

My dog has been chill all day. Just sleeping and cuddling and all the sweet, adorable, calm things…until now. Now, it’s 3am and Oakley has decided to transform into a chaotic monster and has a major case of the zoomies. Guess I’ll be awake longer than I planned this evening 😂😂😂

Apparently when someone compliments me it causes my brain to short circuit and I forget how words work 😂🤦‍♀️

Celebrating with the besties

I can't believe I'm actually posting this but... I'm out of the #querytrenches & have entered my ✨vague✨ stage. Excuse me for a bit while I dance around my house & scream like a very little girl for the foreseeable future. Stay tuned for the official announcement ❤️📚 #WritingCommunity #vague

There are so many big book & photo related things happening in my life right now that I have to keep my giant mouth shut about and it’s proving to be increasingly difficult to do so 😂😂😂 Also I’ve gotten to meet some amazing people this week and my heart is very, very happy.

My mental health is something I fight on a daily basis & yesterday my brain decided it was going to be a rough one. But today? - Washed, dried, & put away laundry - Had a positive email conversation - Used avocados I bought before they went bad - Washed my hair Today was a good day

The fact I can freely make shots of espresso at my house is both wonderful and also terrible for my health 🤣

Someone needs to take my phone away from me so I stop refreshing my email.

When a plot twist for my WIP appears in my brain while I’m randomly cooking dinner 👀

It’s been an emotional roller coaster of a week, but coffee & focusing on my current WIP really is grounding me and providing the escape I need 😂

I love the new Dakota Johnson ads but I don’t love that I’m seeing them on the day I decided to eat my feelings.

My sweet, sweet dog could not figure out how to get past me into the bedroom 😂

Tripod for the win! I felt like maybe I should have some photos of myself that aren’t phone selfies at this point 😂

Was I planning on going to sleep at a decent(ish) time tonight? 100% But then the characters in my current WIP chose to start their next adventure in my melatonin infused mind as I was going to sleep & the clocks went forward in real life. Thankfully tomorrow there will be coffee 😂

Me: I don’t need all these streaming services, let’s just get rid of a couple… Aaaaaaand everything I want to watch is somehow on one of those platforms. 🤦‍♀️😂

My shopping cart at the grocery store directly correlates with my mental health each day.

My husband told me the other day I remind him of Andy from The Shawshank Redemption with how I’ve approached querying. How I WILL. NOT. STOP. TRYING. Every no is one closer to a yes & some exciting thing are going on behind the scenes I have to keep my mouth shut about right now but stay tuned 😂

Tonight I’m watching a 2.5 hour long movie that I have less than zero interest in watching because my husband wanted to. HOWEVER, the stipulation was that I get to pick tomorrow’s movie & I’m going to pick the most rom-com/drama filled movie I can possibly think of 😂Drop suggestions in the comments

Along with my querying journey, I’ve been (not so) quietly building something for the past few months, and I’m excited to share that…drumroll please…Jordan Ashley Photography LLC is official! Follow along to see the final steps leading to my full launch 💕 🎉 🥳🍾 📸 www.facebook.com/share/1aSP6k...

Hey Alexa? Play “My Way” by Frank Sinatra 🫣💁‍♀️📚

I wish my brain understood that the fight or flight response is not an appropriate reaction to a phone call, yet here we are.

Apparently putting things out into the universe works??? 🤞🤞🤞 for this 📚 phone call I'm scheduling...

My motto in life swings between “what’s the worst that can happen?” & “more espresso, less depresso” while a little jingle plays in my brain.

Deep breaths 🤓❤📸

Furiously biting down my fingernails & refreshing my email as I wait to hear back about the full & samples I currently have out in the universe...

Anyone else have Hakuna Matata play nonstop in their head out of nowhere?

I'm fine. It's fine. Everything is totally fine.

I love instant ramen, so I had to include it in my #FakeDatingFoodie romcom featuring a restaurant kid and the boy from the rival "Chinese" food fast-casual chain trying to put her family's mom-and-pop noodle shop out of business 🩷 #FoodPit #YA #R

Soft Time Autistic kid Joaquín thinks he's reliving the same day every day, but if that's the case, why doesn't his mom make the same thing every night? #MG #SF #ND #OV #W #FoodPit

Both of my #FoodPit posts in case any #Agents are searching the feed for a Dark Fantasy with a strong romantic subplot, feminine coming-of-rage, and a dash of weird humor. Cause why not?! I'm querying VEILSTRIDER now 🫶 #AgentGuide below as well 🥰 🕊🔥🐦‍🔥

SNIPPET While he may seem perfect, I can’t trust myself around him. Not until I know more about myself and where I am. Because if I let this man into my life & he hurts me? I’m not sure that ice cream & wine are going to fix that level of heartbreak 📸Readers say #FoodPit #Q✍️82k #A #F w/ #R #H

“I led them around the corner to reveal tables and shelves well stocked with many cured meats, drying herbs dangling from above, wheels of cheese, preserved fruits and vegetables, and a jar of crackers.” An excerpt from my 12k chapter book: THE CAT OF VERSAILLES #FoodPit #KidLit #AmQuerying

Milky Way Cafe's specials: The ghost speaker - Hot chocolate, a seat tucked away in the corner, and a blueberry, maple, and bacon scone. The scientist - Black coffee, any day old scone, and local gossip. The daemon - A second cup of coffee that you can’t remember ordering. #Foodpit #Q #PN #MY

On the Wile, women gain power through the ritual slaughter of men. Ripley’s first kill is meant to secure her place among her sisters, until the man beneath her sickle refuses to beg & the rules she’s lived by begin to fail. Feminine Rage🔥 Forbidden❤️ #Foodpit #H #R #F #NA #Q

Agents, this decision’s a piece of cake: in a nutshell, you’re looking for queer sci-fi with eleven cooking scenes, a foodie ship’s cook, alien fusion cuisine, and a cat who only wants protein cubes. Message me, I’ll spill the beans, and we can bring home the bacon together. #FoodPit #SF #Q #LGBT