🦋 Sometimes when things feel off and I’m consumed with anxiety, I later find it was the universe rerouting me. Even though Grandma left in writing that I could stay in her home for a year after her passing as a favor for caring for her, I am being kicked out by my selfish aunt. I am choosing peace.

If You Had My Love

🦋 I earned my Yoga teaching certificate in June and was hired at a Hot Yoga studio to begin upon grand opening later this month. The classes I was hired to teach are actually “Yoga Sculpt,” which is more akin to HIIT classes. I have anxiety around the pace. Naturally I have a much slower vibration.

Outtake

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In need of a cowboy.

🦋 I am operating in high anxiety mode today. The new job is not clicking like I hoped it would. Ginger is not doing much better. Grief about Grandma is creeping in. World and national news are so incredibly disturbing. Everything is just so heavy right now.

Take off your pants and jacket.

What’s for dinner?

🦋 A girlfriend of mine is coming over this morning so I can try out my yoga sequence with her. I am so excited to see how it feels doing it with another body. Sequencing a class has been the most challenging part so this feels like a big step forward.

🦋 I think my sweet beebee Ginger Spice has a urinary tract infection or blockage. I am bringing her to the vet this morning and they are gonna monitor her throughout the day. Nothing triggers my anxiety more than when my when my babies are unwell.

🦋 I love being Gay in October. There’s something for everyone: Jocktober, Locktober, Cocktober, and Halloween.

🦋 You ever make an afternoon cup of coffee in hopes that it will perk you up to finish out the day, but instead it activates nap mode?

Magic mirror on the wall…

🦋 I logged out for the weekend to focus on my Yoga Sculpt Teacher Training. This was the first weekend of five. I am both incredibly sore and energized. It’s funny - I always wanted to be a yoga teacher, but I guess the timing just wasn’t right until now. I hope your autumn is off to a great start.

🦋 Speaking of the ebb and flow of this app - I want to thank all of you who continuously engage with my posts. Bluesky really feels like a cozy lil queer community while IG and TikTok sometimes stress me the hell out. Logistics, algorithms, and pressure. Here it’s all butterflies and cocks and bums.

f r i d a y

🦋 I wouldn’t say I’m a Halloween Gay, but I do love the fantasy of doing the cozy parts of Halloween - carving pumpkins, baking the seeds, decorating the house - with my man. Every Autumn, I think to myself, “maybe I’ll have that next year.” As the leaves begin to fall, I sigh, “maybe next year.”

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g e n t l e mornings

☕️ Outtake.

🦋 I wish I had a Hulu and Disney+ account just so I could cancel them in protest. But alas, I’ve never had either.

🦋 Happy Monday Gays. Let’s make this week gayer than the last.

🦋 To wrap up the Yoga Teacher Bridge Training this weekend, my cohort and I took turns teaching four hours of yoga to finish off the weekend. I flubbed my teaching segment pretty badly but I reeled them all in with a laugh. I know where I need to do more work and now have the tools to do so.

☕️ Step 2. Boil the Water.

Organic whole beans.

🦋 Today was Day 1 of an intensive weekend training for my new job. A Hot Yoga class to begin the day and then Power Yoga to end. Lots of listening and some chatting in between. Although I have been a dedicated yoga student for a long time, I am fighting a bit of self-doubt with teaching.

☕️ Step 1. Grind the beans.

🦋 Happy Fat Cock Friday. Let’s see those beautiful cocks.

🦋 Hi Gay. Have a beautiful day.

🦋 I have this bad habit of making a lot of food with the intention of saving half for my next meal hours later but instead eating the second plate immediately after the first. My tummy gets too full and I have twice the dishes to do.

🦋 Too horny for a Tuesday.

☕️ From the IG stories.

r i s e and s h i n e

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d a n c e with me

🦋 I think I’m due for a dance at the Pink Pony Club.

🦋 Guess who just got an offer letter for their first Yoga teaching job. I am so stoked and I cannot even begin to tell you how perfect the divine timing is.

s o f t i e

b e d t i m e

🦋 Grandma’s funeral was on Wednesday. Having all five of my siblings, their spouses, and eight niblings there was beautiful and heartwarming. My aunt and her branch of the family tree completely ignored me. Walked right between me and others to greet them with their back to me. Immature and cruel.

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🦋 My sister and her four kids are coming up from Arizona this afternoon and staying for a week. I am super stoked to see them all. These kids will breathe some life into this house.

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