🦋 I had my first candlelit bath in my new apartment tonight. It was divine. Only thing it was missing was a warm body to lean on.

🦋 I walked down by the river today and saw a neighborhood of house boats. Each had its own distinct artsy design, so I wanted to photograph it. As I approached the river bank, I saw that there were two homeless people smoking meth right in frame. I had to laugh cuz that is pretty Portland too.

Good morning.

m o n o /chromatic/

d e c i s i o n s

Part ll

🦋 Two men, at different times and places, have approached me and told me that they know me from somewhere but can’t place where. I can’t help but wonder if they have seen me here on Bluesky and either couldn’t connect the dots or didn’t wanna out me for it in a public space.

s o f t i e saturday

🦋 This afternoon I saw a spider in the bottom corner of my dashboard and I shoved a napkin in the vent hole. I don’t usually kill spiders but I don’t want them in my car. This evening, as I was driving, one descended from the ceiling. I blew air at it and unknowingly scared a third much bigger one.

🦋 I spent my afternoon in the countries biggest bookstore and only left with one book. Please clap.

🦋 Being up here in the PNW is inspiring me to grow my beard out, but my days are essentially based around Bikram Yoga and AA meetings right now, so I never style it. And I think it is starting to look a little sloppy. Gonna have to make a decision between cutting it or making an effort to style it.

Part ll

In the tub.

🦋 Sometimes a main character in one of your chapters fails to even make an appearance in the next. That doesn’t erase them from your story, it just gives you room to nurture something new.

🦋 I attended my first nude yoga class today and it was absolutely divine. I took the class with several gay men in the most beautiful and serene yoga studio I have ever stepped foot in.

🦋 I’m not sure if ya’ll know this, but I am writer. I published my first book last summer. For my second book, a drug-fueled raving memoir about unrequited gay love, I am releasing it in an unorthodox way. I publish one chapter per month on my Substack. $6 a month. Would love if ya’ll subscribed.

First Friday in the PNW.

Last day in San Jose.

🦋 Hi Gays. Happy Fat Cock Halloween.

🦋 I think it is incredibly beautiful to see restaurants going out of their way and risking financial loss to help SNAP recipients amidst this government shutdown. I also think it is incredibly tragic that it has come to this. The USA is so fucked. Orange man and all his little followers disgust me.

🦋 I hate when I enthusiastically agree to do something and then the dopamine runs out before I actually get to it.

Part ll

🦋 I just took a 12 minute nap in hopes to recharge before yoga class but really it just made me wanna call in an early night. These autumn evenings are already getting to me. Activate cozy cuddle season.

🦋 I just posted a new video about high masking Autism on my YouTube channel. If that sounds like something you’d enjoy listening to, check the link in my bio.

🦋 Today I have been in update mode. I updated my website then my LinkedIn. After that I made my Apple Music free trial (I’ve been wanting to switch from Spotify due to ICE ads and AI funding). Then lastly I updated my LinkTree. Kinda funny to think how 30 years ago, none of this shit mattered.

Part ll

friday.

🦋 The people of Japan just instated their first female prime minister, Sanae Takaichi. That in itself is pretty cool, however, she is against same-sex marriage. Aside from being gay myself, I cannot even pretend to imagine the threat that homophobes feel when gays marry. Why do they care so much?

🦋 Yesterday I set up my electricity and gas at my new apartment. I also reserved the moving van. This is all starting to feel so real. I am excited for this fresh start. I was also browsing for jobs on Indeed and realized I can completely change course if I’d like to. I am feeling quite grateful.

Part ll

Just hanging out.

🦋 I have been so busy with everything else that I haven’t even mentioned to you guys that I dropped a new song last Friday. It’s called, “Malware.” I would love if you stream it once or twice on whatever platform you stream on. This one is such a vibe, I hope you dig it.

🦋 My new apartment is the top floor of an old house with a dainty kitchen, slanted ceilings, and a clawfoot tub - so much character. I can’t wait to style it and see what kinds of self-portraits my new space inspires. Just two weeks left in Grandma’s house before I head up north.

Taste the rainbow.

🦋 I have lived in the same city my entire life. I had dreams of moving to LA after high school but was too deep in addiction. Years later I was accepted to SFSU but skipped to be with my partner. At 27, I thought I’d follow him to Indiana, but didn’t. Now, at 34, I am finally leaving this place.

b e d h e a d

🦋 One of my best friends, who is an incredible acrylic artist, came by my house yesterday for lunch and a goodbye. As she was leaving, I gave her my whole box of acrylic paints. I am certain that someday I will paint again, but the less I have to move, the better. And I know she’ll use every drop.

🦋 I tend to hyperfixate on one musical artist for days or weeks at a time until I find another to move on to. For the past seven weeks, since Grandma’s passing, I have almost exclusively listened to Jennifer Lopez as an anxiety comforter. A couple days ago I made a swift switch to Björk. Big change.

Part ll

a soft morning dance.

🦋 I am doing an apartment tour over FaceTime this afternoon. Hopefully everything aligns well and I can lock this one in and end the search. Wish me luck.

🦋 One of my brothers came over today and got really drunk as he took what he wanted from Grandma’s house before it goes to my horrible aunt. I skipped my Yoga Sculpt Training to keep an eye on my kitties. While drunk, he ranted about both Anne Frank and Dinosaurs being fake. I was shocked silent.