Cant wait until next week when i get blue slapped into my hair

A work friend said that I catch on to people’s nonverbal cues and observe them very closely and said “is that because of the autism?” FIRST OF ALL??? I’M NOT??? (I don’t think, idk I‘ve never really been evaluated) SECOND OF ALL, NO IT’S BECAUSE I HAVE OTHER TRAUMA.

I want meat. (This can be interpreted many ways and any interpretation would likely not be incorrect.)

I am thinking about how I was asked if I have ever had, or have ever been a discord kitten. I said why would you ask that, coworker says “because you seem like the kind of person who would do or be that.”

THESE INJECTIONS FOR MY MS BURN LIKE FIRE

Thanks for dealing with me crying about the way my life keeps throwing shit at me. I don’t think I’ve ever been stuck in a rut this deep.

I never realized just how bad the tremor in my hand was until i was trying to draw and i could actually feel my hand shaking. I can place IVs just fine, I can stick people to labs just fine, but the second I hold something to write or draw with? Forget it

i need to find a way to be like i used to be where i would just post art and not give a fuck about what it looked like

I feel like i have to make some kind of ritual sacrifice atp so my brother can get a job.

Lmao im so scared of the potential side effects of my MS meds and I haven’t even started taking them yet.

Knowing this will be my last winter season with my dog is so painful. It’s so hard to just… want to do anything now. I cry for hours every day, sometimes before work, sometimes after, sometimes before bed… idk it just kind of never stops.

I am writing this from my human sized dog bed which i am laying in right now… i have no shame.

idea, i draw wally w her head stuck between iron bars, YCH for handsy passerby (jk)

Anticipatory grief is so painful. Like I can’t even look at my dog sometimes because i don’t know how long he’s got left.

You know what’s great about being able to draw Wally however I want? Sometimes that means she can be a fluffy cow…

annnnd we’re getting a biopsy done on my dogs nose because i noticed a hard lump 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 please give me a fkn break

anyways it’s confirmed, i do in-fact, have MS

I was going to say I’m BJ Deficient meaning Brain Juice deficient (bc they took like 15 mls of CSF) but then i remembered that BJ is short for blowjob…

Idk why but if i smell the right thing and the right time i flash back to that time my patient was chilling, then he said, oh my stomach burns, and he vomited blood everywhere for like a solid 45 seconds.

My spinal MRIs are good, except for like… apparently having the thoracic and cervical spine of like a 50 year old lmao, and no new lesions on my brain. Hooray… now fluid studies are pending… anyways… sometimes i think of swapping wally out from dog thing to cow person/thing

yo that lumbar puncture kinda fucked me up

I talk about my personal life on occasion, here’s part of my personal life. Today my brother drove, with me in the passenger seat, and he was drunk, and almost sideswiped someone so I lowkey almost died today because my brother is an alcoholic.

I should go to sleep so i can be a good nurse tonight ughhhhhhh

Blah blah blah

One time i was working on TICU and we played UNO before shift change…

I am… so sore i feel like I might die.

As the owner of a pair of nips, why must it hurt when i want to lay on my stomach so i can draw and be lazy…

I have 0 ideas, maybe less

dog grill

I sit here and I think about how I want to play with a man’s hair… Y’all I’m dyin

It’s annoying to not have ideas but want to try drawing again.

You know whats frustrating? Feeling like drawing and then feeling like I havent been able to draw AT ALL since that first possible MS flare.

Like we’ll know if it’s a real diagnosis once they take my brain juice and test it. The imaging is really really consistent though, they also need to do the spine stuff too. Not looking forward to having to lay flat in an MRI for 45+ minutes though.

I dont remember how to draw anymore because I’m so rusty. I blame the whole life changing thing of finding out I might have a potentially debilitating chronic illness. I won’t know until they stick a hollow needle in my spine and test my spine/brain juice.

Also hi guys. I am busy learning how to work in ICU, and also waiting for appointments to see if I do have multiple sclerosis. So like sorry I’ve been dead. Just trying to keep my mind off of a lot of very not fun to think about things. Hope you understand.

You ever think about that thing where a guy stretches while he’s relaxing and then you get a peek at like his stomach/belly button/happy trail … i am no better than a man surprised by ankles….

i feel bad I haven’t been able to use something someone gave to me, but my life got really really hectic all at once. Like yes awesome i got my new job, yes awesome i have my start date, but oh no i had severe vertigo for 3 weeks, and oh no I guess I have a chronic brain thing now

If i sleep maybe I can draw when i get up…

getting my first pair of contacts at almost 30 is very bizarre.

you ever just like scream bc of how someone says something? and not the gross kind of screaming like the kind that makes people look at you and wonder if you’re okay mentally 😳

i hate that i want to sleep im supposed to be awake so i can sleep during the day for work...

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is such a struggle to get back to

Drawing like this is making my index finger hurt bc of how i hold my pencil

Oh guys!!!!! Guess what?!

gahhhhhh having to make my files smaller is gonna make me cryyyy what if they get uglier

Ghost hands

testing brownie recipes until i cry bc i cant deal w the amount of cocoa powder and flour thats antiquing my kitchen

Ive had enough of my sleepy bullshit. I took a warm bath and tucked myself into bed thinking i was gonna watch something and passed out for exactly 32 minutes ITS THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY

It is so crazy to me how my coworker and I can be taking care of a patient who is extremely physically aggressive to the point that he tries to break my wrist and tackles my coworker and then just sit there like that didn’t happen, save for the ache in my wrist that lingers the whole next day

love that the bots have followed me across platforms. thanks bots