I think I could make some good money on onlyfans if I recorded my workout audios the way I start moaning and grunting

The human body is spectacular! You can turn your neck slightly wrong and pinch a nerve to the point you get nauseous!!

Just finished Buffalo Hunter Hunter by @sgj.bsky.social and it was a gorgeous and grotesque and all around great read. This scratched my vampire itch in the best possible way

“I want to keep you alive for the possibility of murder later” is such a wild bar shoutout Recoil

Can a man shit in peace?

The US Women’s Hockey team is terrifying. They have scored twenty goals in this Olympiad so far. Their opponents? One.

I think I made a wrong turn

si alguien quiere ser amigos en pokemon go, me gustaría tener más 😭 if anyone wants to be friends! i’d like more in pogo! 095590640247

My poor Pawmo trying to keep up with my plane 😭

today im hehe

Being 13 was a wild time because I had to compete with the president for girls my own age

Black Lipstick by Powerman 5000 is such a hot song

I cannot get over Mike Tyson saying “I was just so fat and nasty” last night

Trump probably heard “Kid’s Rock” and was sold. I’m sure he was disappointed when that of-age-fedora-wearing chud walked out instead

I have resorted to unfollowing the people who watched the TPUSA halftime show. I can understand not liking Bad Bunny because it’s not your favorite style of music but doing it to have an “American artist” even though BB is Puerto Rican is just racism

This Super Bowl had way too many AI ads I fucking hate it

This might easily be the most boring Super Bowl I’ve watched. Third quarter and finally a touchdown. Both of their defenses are so good but such shitty offense

The absolute whitest guy is shaking ass during the Super Bowl. I’m that white guy

Bad Bunny I love you

If Pepsi brought back Pepsi Man I might be inclined to buy Pepsi over Coke

a little late but here is my first drawing for #FebruaryFrost26! #abomasnow #pokemon #art

How did I not realize the Winter Olympics are starting. I will be cheering on America in figure skating

In honor of my favorite pokemon buddy I’ve had, all of my Eevee’s and their respective eeveelutions are named some variation of John

On my quest to be the very best, I’m surprised to not have evolved as many pokemon as I would’ve thought. My basics are just that good😎

I cannot stop thinking about Armand lifting Daniel up with telekinesis while bloodied. It did unlock something in me unfortunately

Planet Fitness has been switching to free weights more and more and I’m living for it

Army of Me by Bjork is extremely vampire coded to me

Vampire girl and orc guy get some dessert #oc #originalcharacter #art

Got told I produce a lot of saliva by my dentist and that it’s a good thing but just 2 minutes prior the dental assistant finger fucked my mouth and I nearly choked

The single serve bowls of cereal from hotels and gas stations is the closest thing to kibble to satisfy the voices

The best horror media is when the protagonist cannot win. To this day the Twilight Zone episode “A Little Peace and Quiet” will continue to keep me up for days. It is a perfect piece of horror

You know when you’ve won a political debate when the last point they have is “well every party has their own issues” like yes Cory but right now I’m talking about human rights

Virgin Lovecraft: This creature is so scary I mustn’t even talk about it Chad Iron Lung: Ram this bitch with my sub

Iron Lung was a fantastic movie and Markiplier needs to be given more director roles

Got into an argument with a fellow pilot who has the mindset that the things you learn in school have no real world use even like algebra. I had to remind him that our flight planning is almost entirely algebra

I love RATM “fans” complaining about them “becoming the machine” as if the machine just means leftism

As a pilot, aviation is extremely political because you can’t fly planes if you are shot and killed by the government

My goal is to get strong enough at the gym particularly a strong enough back to do this

When I leave a pokemon at a pokegym that’s conveniently placed at my personal gym and it comes back fairly quickly I do in fact walk around to see if I can find out who else is playing Pokemon Go

I just love that anytime someone tries to utilize lace code on a tik tok or something all the comments are “oh big tough guy, lace code is dead” and then there are people still trying to use red or white laces… the intent is still there fuckers

“I’m not into femboys” says my boyfriend as they are trying to put me into a skirt so short my BALLS hang above the waistline

My boyfriend is trying to starve me and commit acts of bi-erasure. Everyone please boo them

remade and updated my trainer card w my partner!

Man I hope that the Indiana DOT doesn’t wipe the way they plow the roads

My scheming vizier when I start to cough after taking a swig of wine from my goblet

Pokemon trainer cards are back online so I made my team using my favorite critters

Playing Bleed by Meshuggah on the side of my dog

I want to start a punk band highkey

The baseline in Gimme Gimme Gimme by ABBA is something to feel in your bones