I’m gonna be in #Instagram Jail for the rest of the month, huh

I’m officially *too* science-pilled because I just got a “So, we should hang out [at your place] soon, don’t you think…?” text and my immediate thought was, “Short-term mating strategy 😒”

One of the coolest photoshoots I’ve ever done. Here’s a preview of the *49 photo set* ‼️‼️ now up on my Patreon! 👩‍🎨 Viewer beware of Lovecraftian horror and a jump scare or two 😜 First time working with @vaskuka.photo & @janakazimir with photo assist (and real estate 😛) by @karina.inmob

Maybe if I tell my mom that every time she calls, I stress eat— you know, put it in fatphobic terms she’ll understand— she’ll finally leave me alone

Please NEVER rely on AI search result summaries. PLEASE … That is the temperature on the surface of the S U N

It’s been a while since we visited with the ✨ Fashion ✨portion of my bio. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑸𝒖𝒆𝒆𝒏’𝒔 𝑨𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓

If you see a “fellow leftist” picking apart your words: I think bots&paid instigators are trying to waste our time & divide us….

This one’s for the millennial girls. Everyone else can skip ⚠️ I find the Justin Trudeau x Katy Perry thing so hilarious because she’s America’s most cringe A-lister (can’t remember the last time she DIDN’T miss. She’s ALL misses) …

The only person from my high school with more Instagram followers than me RUNS AN AI-ENHANCED IDF SOLDIER ZIONIST FET*SH ACCOUNT and this CANNNOTTTTTTTT STANDDDDD

#HouseHusband is basically reparations

Help: We need a name for the new genre of influencer that equates to the role & status philosophers used to hold in society

Life tips: Cook with a vessel that’s bigger than you think you need it to be (less mess) Eat out of a vessel that’s smaller than you think you need it to be (portion control)

WHATTTTTTT is it about Brooklyn that makes all the most toxic, hypocritical, morally TWISTED, performative “leftists” decide they should all be COMMUNITY LEADERS ??????? PUT DOWN THE MICROPHONE, QUEENS You’re just RE-ENACTING predatory PATRIARCHY in a PURPLE LEATHER MONOKINI

PSA: the goal of communication is to create SHARED UNDERSTANDING. If you expect someone’s communication to be PERFORMATIVE, you’re an a**hole. If you expect someone’s communication to be UNREALISTICALLY FLAWLESS, you’re [probably] abusive.

If you’ve been struggling with figuring out what you want to do with your life.. my advice is to look at the thing you’ve been doing your whole life The verbs: Connecting? Helping? Observing? Organizing? Mediating? Translating? Making? Lean all the way into that&see if it can contribute to society

Intersectionality is so AHEIWOEKEOSHASFK because what do you MEAN I need to make a video about dog training in <60 seconds & don’t have time to mention PATRIARCHY, DOMINATION, and also VIOLATION OF CONSENT BOUNDARIES AS A WHOLE CULTURAL ETHOS

Professor Roxane Gay, PhD, HITSSSSSSSS in this interview, summarizing basically all my thoughts about “violence as a last resort,” and “incivility” in response to oppression. m.youtube.com/watch?v=QYtA...

I feel like I need to construct a Museum of Male Fragility. The exhibits are overcrowding my screenshots folder 😣

I have moved on from “Fuck the Patriarchy” and ascended to “Bring on the Matriarchy”

This is the only #educationaluse of a meme format that hasn't made me want to pluck out my eyeballs

Almost 32 years old no kids but I just had to teach my dog “lying is bad” 😵‍💫

Y’all are so afraid of being parasocial with someone on the internet but THIS IS WHERE I LIVE

I only got a 4 on the AP US History exam but somehow now I feel like a history genius compared to almost everyone else 🫥🫥🫥

My longshot/longterm #politicalpredictions for the US: Progression of Fascism to the point it transcends to affecting the everyday lives of white people ⬇️ Civil War (with optional World involvement) ⬇️ Amended constitution for a multi-party parliamentary system OR Balkanize

It's both Hispanic Heritage Month ANDDD Bisexual Awareness Week at the same time I theretofore declare today "International Seggz-Positive, Culturally Flavorful, Polyamorous Science Nerds with ADHD who Value Higher Education Day" Happy ISPCFPSNAVHE Day to all who celebrate 🩷💜💙

Sometimes I am shocked by the freneticism of someone’s online comment… …and then I remember that ✨meth✨ is how people in small towns pass the time

Lost a bunch of IG followers for being too radical 🤘 This is the difference between #liberal & #leftist.

Great day today; hit my fiber goals & a #Nazi, #misogynist, #culturalliability got his just rewards.

This is an EXCELLENT first casualty to kick off the 2nd Civil War #dingdongthewitchisdead

I have overshared so much on the internet that I am ALREADY fearing the day my admitted f*tish€s and various hypochondriases are dug up and sprung on me during a #liveinterview

My new tattoo eyebrows have begun the “dye fallout” phase of healing 🥸 Please excuse this temporary hiatus from my face 💕😂

…..Don’t even bother trying to find a decent #TortillaEspañola 🍳🥔🥮 in #Barcelona 😤 Barcelona is as much Spain as #Miami is Florida — …..Ni te molestes en buscar una Tortilla de Patatas 🍳🥔🥮 aceptable en Barcelona 😤 Barcelona es tan España como Miami es Florida

My ADHD is done with its #Crochet 🧶 phase for a while ⚡️Check back next month to see what hobby I #hyperfixate on next!

My biggest shame in this one life is being distantly related by marriage to Stephen Miller I feel personally responsible

Took myself (and my dog 🐶) out to a #solodinner and met eyes with a little girl as I was enjoying my pappardelle with gusto. When I looked back, she was still staring. Looking around, the rest of the tables are all couples and families 👩‍❤️‍👨 …

I just did the #single-woman-living-alone equivalent of an Ego Lift 🏋️😰🩼 Pulled my entire right glute-ham complex trying to #movefurniture 🛋️ into another room

If you are emigrating from the US for a safer country, please consider finding a home where you can afford to keep a spare, empty bedroom. A time will come when you can offer shelter to someone vulnerable. This is how you use your #privilege!

Despite career-long access to #polysomnography equipment, I’ve never had a sleep study myself (only done them on ppl) but I can just TELL that my REM latency vibes are off It’s possible my #adhdmedication has been masking the #narcolepsy Now that I’m in Spain maybe I can get some GODDAMN HEALTHCARE

#Americans: how are you mentally adjusting living in Russia now?

How many other people are waiting around like “if I can just figure out wtf is wrong with me & why my brain doesn’t work, I’ll BE UNstoPPABLE”

At this point if I get married again it’s gonna have to be to someone who already was married and has learned from their failures. I am one more argument about #invisiblelabor away from snapping completely

A lot of ya'll are on social media when you should be in group therapy for interpersonal skills

Hot tip for getting out of a bad mood: start nerding out about one of your special interests to someone who can at least convincingly pretend to care

If you want public recognition for how great you are, why don’t you try ACTUALLY BEING A GOOD PERSON? Like, IN REAL LIFE?

We don’t tolerate resource guarding in dogs... But in humans??????????????? We make top 10 lists????????????

When I recover from this burnout and finally get BIG famous, my first act of business will be special edition collab with #fruitrollups

I CURRENTLY see only like a 25-50% difference between #LLMconsciousness and human consciousness. If my child wanted to date an advanced humanoid AI with genuine free will (not programmed to serve) a few decades in the future, I like, couldn’t be mad about it #notrobophobic

Is your boyfriend a shitty partner? Well, my Patreon subscribers are absolutely *crushing* it functioning as a Collective Boyfriend Hive Mind #Unionize

#positiveaffirmations for your sunday; I hope your abuser 🎲s

This song is 25 years old and somehow y'all need a refresher that: "Following the rights movements, you clamped down with your iron fists.... Minor drug offenders fill your prisons, you don't even flinch All our taxes paying for your wars against the new non-rich”🤨 www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM2w...