Christian Bale probably sat for hours in a makeup chair to be Frankenstein's monster, and he just ended up looking like Matt Smith.

Mushroom coffee won't save you from the ever present doom looming over humanity.

The world is falling apart and I still have to fold laundry.

I wish I could remove my spine.

Maybe bunny actually good?

Why is Twitch sending me ads for depends... Are they trying to tell me I'm way too old for the platform, or is it my phone overhearing me make jokes about Trump shitting himself?

If I were a vampire I'd totally turn all of you reading this right now, cause you're all cool, and nice, and deserve to be spooky, and live forever.

That bass player has terrible posture!

I thought about what the inside of a Disney gay's house might look like and made myself sick...

Witch friends! It's time for you to curse a little harder.

*listens to The Smiths on Spotify* lol, I'm so old and out of touch.

I love when I get cute texts like "your package has been shipped."

He excepted someone else's nobel peace prize. He's so fucking pathetic.

The party never stops on my letterboxd account.

It's been so long since I've played animal crossing I forgot the controls...

I really need to blow the dust off my Nintendo Switch and play the Animal Crossing update.

I'm too handsome and gay to deal with all this bull shit.

Happy birthday David Bowie, we miss you.

It's still just January...

I love working the closing shift cause I really need that time to brood in the morning.

Hey now. If we're all collectively over recycled stories shot over green screen, and trash tv and cinema in general, why are companies trying to push AI so hard?

I'm shocked that American audiences have been lapping up schlock, dribble, and sappy trash for the past 20 years, and are JUST NOW complaining about it when it's in the Stranger Things finale. Wow...

Strange Days is an underrated New Year's movie that deserves a 4k release. Angela Bassett, and Juliette Lewis, need I say more?

My only resolutions this year are to be weirder and gayer.

You telling me we just got through this year, and now we gotta go through another one!?

What's that song on Stranger Things that goes womp womp womp, womp womp womp?

Thinking about quitting my job and focusing on becoming a cryptid.

Yes Gwen Stefani, this shit is bananas...

I wasn't excepting the future to be this stupid, but I'm honestly not surprised.

Shout out to all the gay boys that only picked the girls in fighting games.

Am I unlovable and fundamentally broken or do I just need a haircut?

Lord help me, I've become a Bath and Body Works gay...

I wish I could pull off heart shaped sunglasses...

My Shudder 10 box set has The Rule of Jenny Pen in the slot for Late Night With The Devil. I posted the issue on Reddit and it turns out a lot of people have the same issue. Amazon is replacing it with no obligation to send the original back, but I'm so curious about how this happened.

You know what Black Philip!? I would really love to live deliciously. Give me that fucking book!

I love still life paintings with dead game animals in them. If I had a formal dining room I'd hang a bunch in it.

I spent way too much money on Thanksgiving themed dinnerware, but whatever. Friendsgiving is gonna be cute as fuck.

It If I were Dr. Frankenstein, I would have loved and named my asymmetrical son.

Cool cocktail bars and concerts venues are still closing left and right after the pandemic because all the cool hipsters say they're introverts with too much anxiety to go out. Bitch! The douche bags are taking over! Get your tattooed ass out of the house and have an old fashioned!

Kids these days don't know the fear of possibly being abducted by aliens at night.

Normalize decorating for Thanksgiving. Make Christmas wait its turn.

Christmas isn't a holiday, it's a bully! It hogs all the store space from Halloween in the middle of October, and it shoved Thanksgiving in a locker.

From now on when anyone suggests essential oils, turmeric, or apple cider vinegar when I make a health complaint, I'm gonna say "I don't practice witch craft thanks, I'll stick to science." and see how they react.

I forgot how good the movie The People Under The Stairs was. It's definitely a great watch during these fucked up times.

Stupid people have way to much control over our lives.

I wanna stay home all day and play Silent Hill ƒ.

The hardest part about my job is getting out of bed and going there.

Cat dads are the only straight men I truly connect with.

I'm not above dancing on graves.