I wanna stay home all day and play Silent Hill ƒ.

The hardest part about my job is getting out of bed and going there.

Cat dads are the only straight men I truly connect with.

I'm not above dancing on graves.

I'm sorry, but I hate that little peeperpus™ in Alien Earth.

Where did all the hipsters go? Did the pandemic turn them all into hermits?

RIP to all those dead asses the zoomers keep talking about.

You dirtsy flirtsy ol' angel bitch...

Pumpkins are already in our grocery stores. I think I need an emotional support pumpkin...

What a great Wednesday!

My partner anytime I enter the room today.

Fitness goals? I don't need to be a twunk again. I just want to be able to breathe while tying my shoes.

"It has a dark academia aesthetic!" Bitch, just say it looks like Harry Potter...

True Detective season 5

Radiohead is perfect for driving in the rain. Just FYI.

Girl, he's still alive. Put the champagne back in the fridge.

This weekend has the potential of being the best Labor Day weekend ever.

Don't you love when you just get paid and you're already broke?

I like how Lucy in Bram Stoker's Dracula says "Oceans of love!" I'm gonna start saying that, but sarcastically.

"Sushi for breakfast!?" Why not? Nothing else makes sense in this fucking country.

I will fucking bite you.

Smashing Pumpkins - Machina/The Machines of God 25th anniversary reissue.

Can we be broth bros?

I wish people served broth as a hot beverage.

Life is just better when you're waiting for a package to arrive...

There's gonna be two kinda gays this Halloween...

Several naps a day keeps reality away.

Are you really two gays and just friends if you haven't seen each other naked?

You know what? Fuck it! Halloween decorations go up tomorrow.

Is it too late to change my screen name to NibLeeVampire?

South Park's still got it!

My Fantastic Four

Mothman could never have prophesied all this ridiculous bullshit.

Why are there so many stupid dweebs out there that refuse to say "good movie was good?" They all have to have some unique take on things to prove to themselves they're so above it all. #letterboxd

Buying cute planters for the plants I will eventually kill! They're like pretty little clay coffins!

I want it to be cold and dark.

This country is such a fucking shit show lol

Happy pride to all those who celebrate, and an uncomfortable awkward June to all those who don't.

People should ask me "Is your daily suffering bearable today?" Instead of "How are you?"

I'm pretty sure I'd survive in a Friday The 13th movie because I'd be desperately trying to avoid hanging out with the other teen camp counselors.

Happy birthday Jason Voorhees!

Can we go back to calling them stuffed animals or stuffed toys? The word plushie is so cringe...

I'm a slut for 4K steelbook movie releases...

This pride I'll only be taking love and acceptance in the form of cash. DM me for my PayPal info.

Were you an "always pick the girls in fighting games" kinda gay?

I love all the little people that live in my phone.

What the hell is time even!? (I'm not on mushrooms, you are!)