we’re gonna do our own Tiny Desk concerts but they’re all gonna be chumbawumba covering crazy frog ringtones

we’ve voted on our preferred outcomes for Iran: - 6 votes for complete extermination - 3 votes for complete extermination followed by Iranian food for lunch

this is beyond upsetting. we should be pumping these fumes DIRECTLY into the last living northern white rhinos

who’s horny for justice?! <airhorns>

brent kavanaugh is hard at work again

it says in the constitution that “Donald Trump can do whatever he wants frfr”

taking out the pope is the first cool thing jd vance has ever done

if the government shuts down toilet plumbing will reverse

“Hemorrhoids are a sign of hard work and should be rewarded” - Brett Kavanaugh

neil gorsuch huffs milk

Piss is great! (sponsored post)

if 1 person likes this post we’ll nuke the Galápagos Islands

scientists won’t tell you this but a fish actually rots from its dick to its butthole

we dropped acid and turned all our national parks into Jamiroquai museums

joe biden pees laying down

We thought you should hear it from us first: Former President Trump wrote off $800k worth of JNCO jeans on his taxes claiming they were for “mental health”

our fans rolling up to Not Knowing Where The Clitoris Is