I think Christopher Nolan was capable of better.

WHAT IT IS LIKE ARTIST: Here’s lightning in a bottle. PUBLIC: Yay. CORPORATION: Wow, you people really like bottles.

The Smithsonian Institution holds this original Yankee Doodle tricorne, ca. 1785, the last surviving specimen with macaroni intact. A gift from the estate of Winifred Doodle-Pinckney.

Well, happy 50th anniversary of this, anyway. youtu.be/EfpXhvKpdi0

For FUCK'S SAKE, C-SPAN.

Make it shorter and punchier; something people can quote without racking their memory.

Hot tip: If you like clean wrong brother mail-order bride romances, this is top 20.

Today is more popular than Christmas.

You may have learned American history, but you can only FEEL it when it's read in the gripping, learned declamations of Donald Trump: www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZdQ...

When he's right, he's Turbo Nuclear Right.

The corporate rebrand that effortlessly paraphrases Christopher Guest is destined for success.

“Hell sizzling hot? Afraid not; this lake of fire is all wet!” variety.com/2026/tv/news...

God bless America.

For the last time, living people can NOT be honored on U.S. currency. It is Federal law. I DEMAND the Trump $250 bill.

Moloch from the Halloween episode of "CHiPs" has withdrawn from the Freedom 250 celebration.

Very sarcastic Kenny Rogers, back to the Gambler: "Wow... great 'advice', guy."

2026 summed up in one headline:

Fuck off; playing Savvy. apps.apple.com/us/app/savvy...

Hearing horrible things about A.I. but this may be worth it.

Age ain't nothing but a number that tells everybody how fucking ancient you are.

Sláinte. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScYC...

Europeans when asked to unblock the Strait of Hormuz: bsky.app/profile/daph...

Anti-smoking propaganda is a scam run by Big Ability To Breathe.

World of Warcraft's punctuation is backwards. Available quests should have a question mark, like "Do you want this quest?" Finished quests should have an exclamation point, like "Yay, you did it!"

It's the perfect weather for deciding you're going to make a big steaming mug of hot chocolate but the Hershey's cocoa powder doesn't dissolve and it just forms pea-sized clumps on the surface of the milk and what the hell is in that mix in the envelopes anyway?

I'd rather hear about this Newscaster of the Future and what she has to say about unrest on the Mars colonies.

Google claiming their satellite data is from 2026 but there's still an East Wing.

True wealth lies in knowing who you are. Also shipwrecks.

This charming Valentine's Day pillow is the perfect way to passive-aggressively compare your loved one to livestock.

If the Opening Ceremonies are going to honor Rossini, Verdi and Puccini but completely ignore Vivaldi, they can bite down on my hog.

Aw, dammit; I got all worked up.

The Existentialist Weather Bureau reports that his shadow also sees Punxsutawney Phil.

If Disney Star Wars is so good, how come I'm not nine years old again with three months off a year and my parents paying for everything?

#SNL wasn't the funniest, but those two skits about the indie rock band were on another level.

Orwell had a point, but I'm hearing better and better things about rejecting the evidence of your eyes and ears.

Trump has been president for two percent of U.S. history.

Hey, Claudette Colvin died, so we can get the hell off Scott Adams now. www.wsfa.com/2026/01/13/c...

Did Twisted Sister ever finish making that "Burn in Hell" video?

Shoutout to all the sober, rational citizen journalists on the scene right now.

We wouldn't be in this mess if we'd all just immediately comply with everything any Republican wants.

Wishing you and yours the shittiest post-holiday depression ever!

I go after this guy a lot, but I believe he can achieve this.

I still don't see how Scrooge turning good means there's no tombstone with his name on it in his future.

So the Grinch thinks "Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more" but they never tell us what.

I wish more ventriloquism acts could sort out who the actual dummy is before booking appearances. Dragging that tension onstage is bottom-tier professionalism.