When you have tachycardia and exercise intolerance, even low-intensity household chores count as a moderate-to-high intensity workout.

Quote of the Day: "I don't make the rules; my anxiety does!"

Most of the time my distractions from art and writing come in the form of other obligations, physical health, and mental health. The remainder of the time, it's because women exist. It's just difficult to focus on making art when they're already standing in front of you.

Y'know - I'm not sure what most of you are sticking around for, and I am grateful for your company all the same. Forewarning - if you think I'm a little all over the place/chaotic rn, hold on to your horses, 'cause I suspect I'll really let loose at some point (CW used, of course).

CW: Discussion of Abuse, Mental Health . . . A weird aspect of your primary abuser having died is when you have a moment where you realize you're doing something not for yourself, not because you want to, but because you've spent so long trying to win their love and affection that you don't know

My brain is that meme with the dog where it's just "No take - only throw." Only it's "No make - only art." It's not listening to me when I tell it there is no feasible way for that to occur, and it's gonna have to cooperate with me if it wants the art. Just repeats the phrase louder.

I'd like to see more interior design pieces that work with making goth aesthetics elegant rather than kitschy. The kitschy/cute/costumes stuff has its place, but if you want your home to have full, like, esoteric antiquarian vibes about it, there isn't much available ready-made for the masses.

Anyone else get socially anxious when messaging people for the first time? Or interacting in an online space? It feels so silly to be in a 3D chat environment and have my avatar sat in a corner by itself because I am terrified of people even when they're 1's and 0's. Like... I WANT to meet new

Given equal contributors are listed in alphabetical order, the classic Tarot really ought not be considered the Rider-Waite-Smith, but the Rider-Smith-Waite. While this may seem small and insignificant, given Smith was a woman and initially uncredited, it feels important that she be acknowledged as

Excuse me; I have to play fetch with my cat. If I don't, she'll wail at the top of her lungs for the next hour and a half, and her Mom is trying to sleep for the opening half of a clopener...

I think... my heart medication... may be causing rebound anxiety and insomnia. ._.

CW: SPACE SPIDER-thing @mikalana.bsky.social's psychophage from Warhammer 40k - They wanted trans-themed Nids, we asked about non-binary, originally the idea was gonna be more galaxy-esque, and instead we ended up with the weirdest fluorescent aquatic-looking tyranid hellspawn ever. Gonna try

Friends, family members, community - be excellent to the people you care about. Treat them well. Encourage them to have higher standards. Show them what true love and support look like, so they can better see when the people they're with are pieces of shit, or simply inadequate for them.

If I die choking on vitamins that are big enough to be horse pills in a sad attempt to correct my nutritional deficiencies, that will be the perfect irony to top off the insanity that has been this life. Does anyone actually like the gigantic pills/capsules? Who do they use to determine size?

Existential Isolation is an interesting concept, even as someone who has (and does) experience(d) it. The feeling of otherness intrinsic to your being simply because no one else can fully relate to how you exist in any given moment; that void of dissonance between relating and truly understanding,

When someone says they want a Dreadnought for their Ultramarines, and there are four Dreadnoughts, plus weapons and upgrades that could be used for any of them. ._. That's not even considering kitbashing. WHICH ONE??? 😭😭😭 Alternately, more Nids or starter stuff for Idoneth Deepkin... decisions.

A completely random aside: being a collection of mental health disorders, learning disabilities, neurodivergencies, and other issues packed into a meatbag and granted sentience sometimes comes with weird side effects - like a sudden need to go for a run/lift weights at any time of day or night

Heard from friend who's at residential and its been doing well. It has a discharge date and everything, now! It both feels like no time and an eternity since we last saw it. I am very grateful it had this opportunity, and I am hopeful it'll have an easier time if it on its return.

There are times when I wish I had the resources to open up a mental health residential program closer to where I live. And also run a rescue for dogs, cats, bunnies, etc. Sometimes I think I could do both and run a rescue for trans folks. *insert drums and cymbal here, followed by sad trombone*

Y'all ever find yourself in a specific headspace, or kind of rut, and somehow manage to stumble into a piece of media that speaks to the gap in your heart on a uniquely intimate level? I think those moments have helped me out of a bad spot more times than I can count. I hope the creators know in

CW: Transition, Medical . . . Also, on today's episode of things I didn't initially consider during transition - figuring out which multivitamins will work best for me. Hemoglobin is at the higher end of normal, so I don't need as much Iron, so Adult/Men's it is. 😆 🤣

A weirdly fitting repost given I started watching "KAOS" recently. A small page of graphite line studies of the Daffodil - also known as Narcissus (hence being fitting given KAOS) - that I completed around a third of a year ago. The Fool - the first card in the Major Arcana of the RSW Tarot -

CW: Medical . . . Well, apparently Diabetes can impact nutrient absorption and slow stomach emptying, so if you already don't feel hunger signals until it's pain, and can just forget to eat to begin with... plus take multiple meds that suppress appetite... voila. Nutrient deficient. Good to know.

Sometimes the best thing a relationship can give you is a lesson from which you learn and grow. It can be hard for us to accept when that's the case. This isn't to say not to try, or that we should just give up when things get hard, but to remind people who try harder than anyone else would that

Ngl - this is gonna live in my head rent-free for a bit. It's not often I'm particularly chuffed about a choice of words, but this one tickled me pink. I'm funny sometimes.

CW: Medical . . . When cats fall asleep in the weirdest positions, on top of you, and then get offended when you need to adjust position. I'm sorry, little miss, but the blood stops flowing in my legs if I don't change position enough - you needs move so I don't lose them. 😭😭😭

I need those hospital leg massager cuffs to be actual portable socks or leggings, and for there to be built-in toe warmers. I also need clothes to automatically adjust to regulate body temperature, and discreet portable packs for saline transfusions, plus a port for those, blood draws, and meds.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Reminder that your disabilities, your mental health conditions, your scars, etc don't make you less deserving of love. Your value is not determined by these. Some of the most beautiful people I know carry scars inside and out, and have clawed their way out of the

Blood labs are coming back and... I am glad I scheduled a follow-up with my PCP for next week! ...Oops. 😅 We will see how this goes.

Do not try to breathe the cornbread; it is not a suitable replacement for air no matter what it told you.

POTS/dysautonomia is like being a robot whose coolant system has a leak (but also doesn't function properly), so it has to continuously guzzle more coolant to prevent itself from overheating and its systems from overtaxing themselves. I am a saline powered machine, and I don't recommend it. 😆 🤣

The instant I tell someone the things I WANT to do, my brain turns it into an obligation. Once an obligation, my brain is terrified of messing it up, and instead decides paralysis is the way to go. I need to stop telling people the things I want to do until they're done. 😅

I was considering waiting one more day to share another old piece again, but decided against waiting. This artistic nude was done with ink, and actually surprised me in how it came out. Ink was a little tricky to get used to, but I like the push and pull of the medium.

I have a never-ending list of gifts I want to do, roughly 20 personal projects I want to work on (that are not small), and I need to find a way to have an income to alleviate some (ideally all) of the burden on my retired disabled Mother, my partner, and our roommate... and the energy levels of an

Sometimes... I really do just doodle stupid shit for brainstorming ir shaking out the cobwebs. Enjoy a terribly drawn opossum hissing and saying "I'm a cat" via the font around it. This was one of several extra stupid super fast really bad doodles I did earlier. It was fun.

Hello, new friends! Welcome to my account - where you may get art, thoughts about chronic pain/illness/disability, mental health ramblings, cats, things relating to minorities, investigations and explorations into the esoteric, wacky interracial multicreed disabled gender-diverse furry household

Y'know... a household of three diverse, mentally ill, sapphic-inclined, fem(-ish) trans nerds and their three sister-cats sounds like the setup for a sitcom/drama. I mean, it kinda do be like that, but just thinking about it from a media perspective was a weird realization.

CW: Dysphoria, Medical, Trauma . . . Growing my hair out over the winter because my temperature regulation is abysmal and between it being a tachycardia trigger and my having Raynaud's, warmth is important... and I know hair length, type, style, etc isn't gendered, but

When you're using numerous references to help inform you as you cobble together something entirely new, and you feel like Victor Frankenstein absolutely losing his shit trying to build the Creature. "We'll use this, and then this, and this goes here..." Absolute Gremlin energy, 100%.

Just a reminder to folks to make sure you're meeting your basic needs, if able.

As promised, a revisit to an older piece. A graphite still-life from my figure drawing course in school. This was a piece I stayed late to work on for each studio session I ciuld, and I really enjoyed the process. Some other students were upset with the grade I received on this piece due to the

Much thanks to the folks who've stuck around or joined during the text posts - your presence and support is appreciated! I promise there'll be a post with some art in the next couple days (I'm aiming for at least once per week), and I'll be working on some other stuff for moving forward. TY!

Friend arrived at their residential program safe and sound. They'll be without their phone for at least a week, but we received confirmation that they're at the location. Now we wait and see how things go. Ngl, my stomach is in knots and I am anxious af, but really hope this goes well for them.

Okay, almost go time for the friendo to leave for their residential program. Nerves of butterflies rn. Super hopeful that this helps, and also just a ball of anxiety. We did brunch and dinner, stopped at a game store, and saw my family (who consider them family) today. Napping, then time to go.

CW: Medical Discussion, mention of OD, eating habits The neurodivergent feeling of having 20 billion things you want to accomplish and instead hitting decision paralysis until absolutely nothing gets done. "Just do SOMETHING" says the anxiety, "FUCK YOU" says the executive dysfunction.

As a separate aside, more art will be forthcoming - expect another quote repost sometime soon, and ideally some updated pieces or new art once I've cycled through again. There'll just be chatter in-between now and then, as I am a human with experiences and feelings, and not a bot churning out slop.

Some days it gets particularly hard to be kind to yourself - the outside world feels so big and expansive, but also suffocatingly close at the same time. It feels like the weight of the world is squarely on your shoulders, and for the life of you, you can't even begin to fathom where you should...

Reminder to survivors to be careful with yourself, and to be selective with what you expose yourself to if at all possible. You don't need to trigger flashbacks, psychological non-epileptic seizures, or panic spirals to know the important stuff. Staying informed is important, and so is staying

Trying to determine if mood due to need for food, socialization, sleep, or something else entirely. I really wish there were system diagnostics on this thing.