One must imagine Sisyphus gooning

I LOVE BOOSTERS: HOUR OF THE FURNACES meets BARB AND STAR. Lot's of thoughts, overwhelmingly positive. You're not gonna find agitprop this funny anywhere else.

*in an alternate universe* Hi I'm Nikita Khrushchev and this is Jackass

Watching now

The Magdalena Bay and Grogu

Reading the interracial cuck porn article feels a little like being in those horror stories where you see the true face of God and it burns your eyes out

OH SHIT. IT'S RENEE RAPP. IT'S RENEE FUCKING RAPP

The tagline for the new horror movie PASSENGER is "130 million people take road trips every year. 15,400 of them are never seen again." That's a 1 in 8,440 chance. Slightly greater than the chance of getting hit by lightning. Sorry Melissa Leo, but I like those odds. See you in Yellowstone, loser.

In Pixar's Cars, the Pep Boys are the equivalent of the Chinese God Shennong, former mortals famed for their auto repair abilities who eventually ascended to divinity. They are venerated today as the bringers of health, and Med students pray to them before difficult exams.

Grogu supported stop and frisk. He doesn't talk about it anymore but there's pictures of him campaigning with Giuliani in 97

Hello, my name is Drifloon. I subsist off the souls of children. I float by metabolizing the souls of suffering children and converting it into heated air. I am literally powered by suffering.

Scenic San Bernardino County, where dreams go to die,

I'm lost in one of the hotels in Vegas

Navigating Las Vegas parking rn. I feel like one of those campers in the Blair Witch Project

Tenet is one of those words that sticks in your craw. You just want to turn it over in your mouth until it takes new, exciting forms. Tenet. Tenenet. Teneteneneteten.

What is going on with David Ehrlich

I could never live in a swing state. My Tubi is just governor and mayoral ads and I am sick of it already. I cannot imagine what it's like in the Philadelpnia media market.

The perfect hangover food has high-density carbs, some form of high-fat dairy, and protein, which is why the Loaded Fry is the height of western innovation,

I have to admit I don't understand Burger King's current marketing message of "I'm the president of Burger King, I know our shit sucks so much ass but I really promise it's different this time"

Adding to the chorus saying OBSESSION is phenomenal. Uncanny in ways both hilarious and horrifying. Was a fan of Curry Barker's horror shorts and his Se7en-meets-Tim Robinson horror sensibilities translate perfectly to feature length.

I would like to have the police and the government disband the Adobe corporation by force

Is LA a spiritually WASP-y city

THEY CALL IT "SLIVING," COOP. IT IS A PORT-MAN-TOE, A COMBINATION OF TWO WORDS, IN THIS CASE "SLAYING" AND "LIVING." IT WAS INVENTED BY A WEALTHY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIAN FEMALE AND IT IS BELOVED BY THE GAY COMMUNITY, COOP. THAT IS THE COMMUNITY OF MEN WHO ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER MEN--

Sequel album to Lana Del Rey's "Chemtrails over the Country Club" titled "Cybertruck outside of the Erewhon"

Why watch the Washington Post's MAKE IT MAKE SENSE when you can watch the Science Channel's HOW IT'S MADE, a behind the scenes look at everyday items and how they're made every night at 9/8c

Guy on the subway laughed as I just barely got cut off by the closing doors. His is a sophisticated understanding of the world, for he knows that the only true pleasure is at the pain of others, and he laughed at me through the window as the train pulled away.

Love, Simon and Garfunkel

Walked into Costco without a membership and was laughed out like the unwashed rube I am

Every now and then I look at apartments in Berlin for 780 euros a month and wonder.

I wanna party with a ghost. I wanna do a seance and down a 40 with an apparition. I wanna play beer pong with an incorporeal spirit. I wanna play spin the bottle with an ageless terror from the astral realm.

This 1952 memo from the Pentagon UFO files is superb There is no point preparing for aliens ‘because no one of consequence is going to take this rubbish seriously unless it happens. At that point, our policy will be determined in the traditional manner of grand panic.’ 🤣 www.war.gov/medialink/uf...

Susie should not have had the decolotage with that headpiece, it doesnt fit. I like A'keria's idea but the fur doesnt come up far enough

Morphine Love Dion is an amazing reality show personality

Lugubrious is, itself, a fairly lugubrious word. It dribbles from the tongue like phlegm, landing sadly and wetly in the ears.

Btw Evil Dead Burn looks sick as fuck youtu.be/wMMJzR-Ezds?...

Ngl chat I don't think I can handle another "we regret to inform you"

Hi, it's me, the demon from the SMILE movies, and I'm running for mayor of Los Angeles California. For far too long, this city has failed its working families,

Okay learned more about vampires in the five hours I was at Denny's. Turns out that vampires can pick and choose what powers they get. Who knew? You could turn into mist or have super strength but as a practical matter, most vampires today just pick "can be in sunlight" so they can like, have jobs.

Dave owns a VW EuroVan. He bought it in 2007 after watching that Sean Penn Alaska movie. The first night he got it, he drove it out into the woods and got savaged by a werewolf. The werewolf wasn't rabid or anything, he was just an asshole. Dave doesn't camp anymore. We took his van to Denny's.

Okay I've gotten my bearings a little. They introduced me to a guy named Dave. Dave is the young guy so they made him head of community management. The first thing he did was point to my Vitaly chain and say it was "amazeballs." Dave only speaks in internet slang from the early 2010s.

I was crowned King of the Vampires. It happened after I got blackout drunk in Collierville, Tennessee. I woke up and the vampires made me king. What the fuck am I supposed to do. They told me I can't abdicate.

YES SIR MR. NOLAN SIR

Looks like a Soviet-themed Captain America villain

Finally seeing Nithya ads

Haha who's dancing now you stupid bald bitch

Love u all

Going to a rave

Ask Jeeves has died. He was found with a bullet in his head. He is survived by three children who are set to inherit millions. Benoit Blanc on the case.