Today, Dunston is doing product reviews. "Bioware Top Aide Confirms: "this gun made man." He pulls the magenta lever. ALoading Company adorns his body.""

Dunston closes the book and leans back, thinking about the book. He looks at you and says, "I faw. It faw too much aftwer i finish dat godbook. Dugust my a## buttwipe all d dust bwoom off, butt the cover not yet off! I can faw again.

Dunston, disquieted by the sight of all the cobwebs that have gathered about his favourite chandelier, looks to the mirror: "Why I so fat?"

The demonbean emerges from Dunston's pot of beans and says, "I have to widdle around, I must know the procedure..."

It's time to put a stop to Dunston - he's making a big hell for his personal shopper! He's screaming!!! You climb back into the vent ... it's time to wake up. "stop dunston...do some shopping. for me, bebein' bitches at the store. for you. for me be broke. for you.""

Dunston uploads yet another youtube video. I'm scared to look at the title... oh HELL no; it's called 'the best and final Dunston upload video'.

Dunston glances down the road. He downshifts, and the next thing he knows ... his body is in the center of the concrete jungle highway! His only salvation: DING! a fireball crashes down over his back and his eardrums pop out of place!

Dunston volunteers at the library, reading books to children. Today, he is reading from his favorite: 'The Emperor's New Clothes'. "You don't look like a monkey, mister Dundton", a large and smarmy ape tells you as he slams you hard into the back wall of the library cart.

Dunston looks at you. two thumbs up. Dunston appreciates you honk! but only if you honk! if you do, you end up in a filthy river 2 the power of cat piss!" he chuckles to himself "man

"Where's Dunston?" you ask, concerned. A strange man points to the truck stop bathroom and then pantomimes a 'butt chaos' to you. You look up to find Dundton's naked torso dangling from the ceiling, hands resting on its hams....

\\[APE STATUS REPORT] From: Dunston. Subject: me no more am ape!!! hehe

Dunston is using your computer in breach of a noncompete.

Dunston explains the steps of the mission: 1. find a man, 2. mingle with him,3. make small talk4, repeat steps again. You realize that this whole thing is a preseed - to get you to do drugs... with him

Dunston, suffering from "Ape Anxiety" is wearing a fedora too tight to keep his head warm, but not tight enough to be considered covered by fur (he has fur on the inside; only the hat is real fur) and looks down as you pass, shaking his head. you turn, looking back... He's now standing upright!

Dunston is currently working from home, trying to decipher what his colleagues are communicating with him. "heeeere come da bananas! heere comes da banana!' he yells, and drops a banana into a bowl of water in front of him. 'you not smarten me today - bananna pls.

A list of celebrities Dunston has met in his travels: 1. Abe Lincoln - The one with all the red hair

dunston gives magician very own banana hoard

Dunston's guarding the public restroom from the minute you set foot inside. "you fucked my honorable job; you ruined this entire world for me" he shouts before scooting into position

Sup gorl~~~!!! Dunston here - please ignore all the gibberish you hear in this recording, if that was any noise at all you'd just understand how he thinks!!! Anyway, I hope you had an enjoyable and delicious meal; the meat you had, I'd happily devour myself;

"Me can't help you," Dunston says slowly. 'I walk alone... in the darkness, and you touch my butt. I fuck a healthy ape. Don't touch Dunston. You can't touch Dunston. You can't touch Dunston. You're scared. You're scared you can see Dunston die.

Dunston is urinating, and noticing you, walks away from the pond.

Dunston's top 5 relationship goals: 1. Have sex at all costs! (238/497); and 2. Have as much physical abuse given him as possible. (27/27)

Dunston's restless dreams involve consuming entire mansions of meat

Dunston says he appreciates your help as he climbs back into your bed. "No problem. No big deal," you mutter and then pull back away in disgust.

Dunston dies, due to his actions, in the chamber farthest from your hearth.

Dunston begs you to "invert the 'gurt"... you've never even heard the word"

Dunston's Top 5 Huge Pun of All-Time: The Dunston Pun Corollary: Dunston's Final Admonition for the World: 'F**k Dunston'

It's time to put a stop to Dunston - he's already sent you a photo two weeks in, and it's clear why. "I see wet hands...opoulos mouse with corn

Dunston considers the options. "a. fight me or b. shoot me in the ass"

\\[APE STATUS REPORT] From: Dunston. Subject: me and the ape in da vault.

Top 5 reasons Dunston visits the public restrooms: 1. to shit: this man cannot control himself! "Weeell, it just happend! Dunston shited the bath!" and other such utterances can often followed. You may not have known what was inside that bag in the first two sentences, but by now...

Dunston? That old ape? He's dead. His spirit washed over this room long ago...

Dunston begins JOing on a crowded subway platform with a pair of buttocks that he inappropriatelyweaponastore

Dunston rips his vest off, revealing a t-shirt with the text "pussy for me, baby for free! pussy for my bitch" spattered all over it...

Dunston tries it: snorting mung bean latest

You glance at Dunston, and immediately wish you good, long, and easy life in the world of pizza delivery.

Dunston stands up and says, "lord hab mercy, me about to bust!" then spins around, grins up into the ceiling, and continues shitting. "no, fear of hell no banana, lass!..."

Dunston's happiest memory: when a passing pimp offered him an allotment - the largest, sexiest plot of real estate anywhere

List of Dunston's greatest fears (the last one will blast you): 1. You forget what you were doing before he made you Dunston, e.g.: "hey kid, where ya head been? me not do my chore ... you a chud?" 2. That you remember what you are before hand and then realise it has no real value 3.

Dunston's top 5 sex acts (some may be illegal): 1. "dog whistling" and licking each others anus. 2. eating each others buttocks

Dunston yawns and stretches. He looks out the window, where a small brown owl chirps gently. "Wishing I had one," Dunston muses to himself. "Perhaps..."

"me frightened," Dunston gasps. "you got demons over here!!" *slaps hands down* "me a bad child."

Dunston screams and begs for your hand, as he has something to share: it was meant to be between you & me

Dunston is at the bus station, trying to determine the number assigned to the bus that takes him into the city

Dunston is standing in front of the urinal. He squints his eyes, and begins pissing. He notices the stall door behind him open, he quickly slides his foot up the stall walls to cover his anus and shush his assailants....

List of song lyrics that Dunston has misheard: 1. "Me fist go down; me fist go down" "Me go plop fuck face into concrete; fucker me do not like this" 237 songs matching lyrics from 'misheard' 'Lost chimp ... Dunston ... please help!': man ditches train, finds a chimp ... then dies

Dunston loves old anime, especially if it involves a human being getting gobbled up alive by a rabid goblin

Dunston is wearing his life vests in public view, screaming, You know what dey say: turn me back where the blind turn purple?" He turns and walks away, throwing a clinic supply round at you. You dodged a bullet yourself! dunston turns back to you: oh haha

Dunston understands human emotions; he embraces all of humanity's worst fears.

Dunston sighs, leans back, and says "I don't need to work out; I just want to eat some banana." A/N: I have no clue why this is going up to three posts but I'm a pervert. Anywho! Hope everyone had good halloweens. ^__^