If someone started shooting all the lobbyists we could fix the mass murder problem.

Washington DC hasn't been this safe since 1865.

Are the golf carts in Scotland right hand drive? It would be hilarious to see his royal thighness get stuck behind the wheel.

Trump has bruising in the back of his hands because of too many handshakes? Imagine what those hands would look like if he'd ever worked a day in his life.

The 12 day war is over. NEXT!

Now it sounds like the only thing obliterated was the truth.

Sharpen up them bone spurs. It's go time.

Which is worse, destroying a Tesla or destroying our democracy?

Normalize pronouncing DOGE as DOUCHE.

Why do we waste time with these confirmation hearings when everything is already decided in a backroom deal?

With HIPPA laws in effect, how does anyone know anything about what healthcare a woman is seeking?

Wait. What? I went to sleep in Illinois and woke up in Florida?

Is the Ukraine war over yet or do we have to wait until tomorrow??

Possibly the best clap back against ignorant antivaxxers.

I just donated to Wikipedia because Elon Musk said not to. That's not the real reason but it's a damn good one.

After the 39th school shooting in the United States this year, Congress has responded by voting themselves a raise. A "most deserved" raise.

The Christmas spirit Claus-o-meter just ticked up a notch.

Inauguration day 2025 commemorative series collectible.

Gaetz out. DOW up. Life is good.

Well, that was easy.