@ihavethatonvinyl.com is in my house right now so ask me a question and I will make her answer it. Ask her who her favorite brother in law is and why is he so charming and handsome. Also ask about my dog. His name is Duke but I can't say that because I blocked that word during March madness

There are so many albums and songs and bands that everyone celebrates for being "groundbreaking" or "pioneers" or "changing the face of rock and roll" or "ushering in a new era in music" and I hate almost all of them. Why does everything have to fit into some category? I like it or I don't.

I would like to pave my entire yard.

Necco wafers. Tell me about your experience with the worst candy that ever existed. Not including the brown ones.

Who still fork splits their English muffins don't fucking lie to me I'll know

What is the best AC/DC song with Bon Scott vs. What is the best AC/DC song with Brian Johnson and then what is the best AC/DC song between those two songs. I don't have an answer, for the record.

This is the best Van Halen song off the third best Van Halen album and don't come at me with any Sammy Hagar nonsense I don't care it's all terrible.

Big Frank fan.

I just found out that the guy from Road Warrior is the same guy from Commando.

I bought Lisa two pizzas and an order of mozzarella sticks for Mother's Day but she has to drive me to get them because I had a couple of cocktails. She's a lucky woman.

A lot of the music that I hate is because I lived with a guy in the 90s who was sad all the time and listened to the same shit over and over. He could get mushrooms though.

I don't really have many pictures of my mother. It's weird because she was around until 1992. I also remember that couch even though I was -12 when this picture was taken.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!

Is it possible to separate the artist from the worst thing that they've ever done? I only ask because I have a song on one of my lists that is a reminder of the worst thing that has ever happened to both the band and my people and I feel guilty when it comes on, but it is my favorite song by them.

Glen Wesley must be spinning in his grave.

I have another house where my son lives with his mother. I've had the same insurance company for 19 years but for some reason they inspected it this year and told me I need to replace the two columns over the side door. $330 (including a 30 pack) later and it's almost done. Just the trim remains.

I posted this the other day and apparently Mr. Rogers is untouchable so I won't say anything else about him but what about my post made people have reactions like this? I'm a little rough around the edges but I think that I am overall fairly kind. And I fully support trans rights and I hate Trump.

I love Aimee Mann and this is my favorite song of hers and if you hear me listening to it I'm probably in a terrible place but right now I'm just listening to it because I like it. Also, seeing Philip Seymour Hoffman will never not make me sad. Anyway, great song by a great artist. Love her.

I'm thinking about giving up the beer delivery game and just becoming a billionaire.

Dog Timeshare. Never worry about taking a vacation again. We all get the dog(s) for 10-11 weeks a year. Split the cost. I don't think the dog would care at all. He/she gets 16-20 people that he/she loves in different locations. Everyone misses the dog and showers him/her with lovings. It will work.

Looking at adoptable dogs at 9:30 pm on a Thursday with cocktails in me. Somebody stop me please.

I'm actively rooting for the Montreal Canadians and the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim and 23 year old me would literally attempt a physical altercation with today me if he knew.

I'm back at work for the first time in 57 days and I have some horrible news.

I don't like Mr. Rogers. I don't want to see the real Mr. Rogers and I don't want to see a movie about Mr. Rogers. I have zero good memories of him and I always hated when I was forced to watch his show. He was creepy and weird and I disliked him at a very early age.

I'm returning to work tomorrow. New Sandwich pictures will be posted tomorrow as long as I'm out of the view of security cameras.

I hate the time from when I open my eyes until the time I actually climb into the truck. Then it's just me and my friend driving around making fun of everybody. Unless it's raining. Then I hate my job.

I found out today that we have an electric can opener and I said "When the fuck did we get a can opener?" And her response was , "YOU ASK ME THAT EVERY TIME I USE IT. IT'S BEEN HERE FOR TWELVE YEARS." So I have an electric can opener so I hit the big time. Enjoy your manual can openers, peasants.

Lisa is making sauce and meatballs ("gravy" for you crazy long islanders) and the whole house smells like garlic and tomatoes. There's also a lot of F words coming out of the kitchen which is a pretty good indicator that it's going to be a good one. I bought four braided Italian breads this morning.

Listening to Excitable Boy and it would be an absolute 10/10 album except I hate Veracruz. Lisa hates Nighttime in the Switching Yard, which I love and can't imagine someone not liking it. Music is weird and divisive.

One of my friends sent me this picture last night and I couldn't figure out why because I fucking hate basketball and then I looked at it again this morning and realized that he sent it to me because that's my former boss sitting behind the coach. Fucking douchebag.

Look what I can do.

I took my return to duty drug/alcohol test and the urine sample had to be "observed". The doctor was hunched over about a foot away from my ding dong to assure that the urine was actually coming out of me. 0 stars, would not recommend.

Day number 49 of being suspended from work. I am required to have two drug/alcohol screens before I can return. I took the first one last Monday (Totally passed!) 4/20. Collection lab then sent my results to the wrong place and now nobody has any idea what to do about it so I just have to wait.

I was thinking about raking the front yard but the guy across the street is raking his front yard. Maybe next year.

Dear Mike Johnson, Maybe now you can imagine how a first grader feels in this situation.

No more Tkachuks until October.

Wordle 1,767 4/6* ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I don't normally share these but I enjoyed this one.

If I'm laying down in bed, I sleep on the passenger side but if I sit up in bed I'm on the driver's side. I thought about that for 45 minutes this morning.

Hattie.

I've spent an insane amount of money on NHL tickets, merchandise, TV packages, and whatever else over the past four decades, so it seems like a bit of a slap in the face that I can't watch the playoffs because I don't have cable and I don't want to pay for ESPN even though I FUCKING PAY FOR ESPN+.

My son (20) is eating steak and French fries and I asked him if I could have a French fry so he picked one up and said "Here comes the airplane!" and flew it into my mouth and I am crying laughing because it's so stupid but it's also the first time anyone has done that to me in 50+ years.

I bet I could eat more cottage cheese in five minutes than anyone else on the planet.

Wordle 1,763 5/6* ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛🟩⬛⬛🟩 ⬛🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I don't need this shit on a whatever day this is.

I tried to comment on this a thousand times but Bluesky wasn't having it but I want to make sure everyone knows the answer is Coco. It's Coco. I'm going to watch it now.

There's a place that makes cowboy hats in Kentucky called Wild Hats and I watch their videos on TikTok all the time and some of the hats are over a grand each and I know that I would look like a total asshole with a cowboy hat on but I still want one. With a gold nail, so you know who made it, baby.

One of my friends talked to one of my son's friends and my friend showed him a picture of me and asked, "Do you know this guy?" and my son's friend said, "Yeah, that's Big Matt!" and I need to know if there is a smaller Matt or if my son's friends are all just calling me fat all of the time.

When I was in high school, we used to hang around on a beach that we called Longmeadow. It wasn't really a beach, just some sand and a launching ramp. We'd have a fire and drink beers and have a good time. I just looked at my son's location and that's where he is. 40 years later. Nothing changes.

The Altered State of Druggachusetts.

Do you remember when R.P. McMurphy realized that he wasn't just serving out his sentence in a mental institution and Nurse Ratched actually had the power to keep him there for as long as she saw fit? I found out yesterday that I'm in the same situation with alcohol class. Lesson: don't be honest.