It’s that time of year where I’m resisting the urge to blow money on a FloHockey subscription. The only thing that helped last year was my mom changing my passcode to every device.

The term fast classic is annoying to me. It’s like saying the sex was a slow quickie.

I like playing a pawn down. It’s comforting, ya know? It’d be really unfamiliar if I wasn’t a pawn down, with no recollection of how I lost it.

The referee uniform😂😂 I love it 😂 greatest chess showdown even though it took a good hour to start.

Ahhh the ultimate battle of Team India vs Jet lag

I check my lichess correspondence games to see if it’s my turn. I notice a game is missing and automatically think I had forgotten to make a move but no. My opponent resigned!! As in they lost and I won!! This never ever happens!!!

Such a wealth of chess knowledge, that Morphy fella.

Me collecting rating points when my opponents forget to play their move in a correspondence game ⬇️

A reminder to reinstall TakeTakeTake on y’all’s phones. No complaints, just do it.

Anyone else’s lichess notifications decide to take the summer off?

I would commit a misdemeanor for the ability to play with the St. Louis Chess Club’s pieces. Look at these bad boys, smooth yet weighty, packs a punch when you place them on the board.

Happy International Chess Day! I’m gonna spend it the only way I know, which is breaking several bones in my hands from punching a desk after losing puzzle rating!

Once again I’m outsourcing my International Chess Day post. Give me your best material, bonus points if it really really really looks like something I would write/post.

Who’s your pick to win Freestyle Chess Vegas? I’m picking Erigaisi, he had a rough time traveling, so naturally he’s gonna win the whole thing. God is mean but he’s not that mean, ya know?

I’ve tried everything to get back to my normal chess puzzle rating. I’ve sacrificed several goats, built a Laurent Fressinet shrine, and listened to nothing but New in Chess podcasts. I’m so desperate, I may just open a chess book or two.

I wanna be a coach to extreme chess beginners, but I’m not gonna out of fear of sending their chess ratings into the negatives.

No one can tell us we're wrong Searching our hearts for so long Both of us knowing Chess is a battlefield

It’s ok, that’s fine, ya know I’ll do better next time, it’s cool, it’s whatever, it’s fine………it’s fine…..

I will play a move in my correspondence game and not lose on time. I will play a move in my correspondence game and not lose on time. I will play a move in my correspondence game and not lose on time. I will play a move in my correspondence game and not lose on time. I will play a move in my corresp

I’m a tad disappointed Kramnik blurred out his court documents cause now we can’t all pretend to be lawyers.

That’s my goat!! 🐐

My chess tactics have gotten so rusty, it’s gotten to the point where when I open puzzle rush, I get a notification from chesscom saying “You sure? You sure you wanna do this? Maybe open a chess book or two before you start this?”.

Based on vibes. Canes touch the cup after 4 OTs in game 7.

What does Keymer know about Freestyle chess that the others don’t? He should’ve written a book titled “A Grandmaster’s Guide to Freestyle Chess” months ago.

I was supermarket sweeping my grocery run, almost didn’t make it home in time to see the caps game 🫣

Spencer Knight is my enemy for life. I hope when he’s in a rush, he hits every red light. I hope his sock constantly falls down in his shoe. I hope when he gets comfy in bed that he all of a sudden has to pee.

I’ve crunched the numbers and I think after the 52nd blitz game tiebreak, I’ll be awake to see the Women’s World Championship.

3AM start time for Women’s World Championship for me. This has gotta be an April Fools Day joke, right?

You ever feel like you’re just opening all these social media apps just to get updates on Wes Johnson’s new puppy?

I’m 94% sure that google street view car took a photo of me zoning out while driving on I-264 west.

My chess doesn’t speak for itself, but it can mime. Has anyone made this joke yet?

We survived! I have the best vets, they all go along with the bit and call her “Wendy Darling”.

I’m mentally preparing myself for the worst day of the year tomorrow. My dog is going to get her teeth cleaned and will be out of my sight for the hours 8am to whenever the vet feels like calling me to come get her.

If Jan Henric Buettner really wants drama in the Paris leg of his tournament, then he should break up the newlyweds by convincing Vidit’s wife to Montoya him.

My brother looks like Anthony Beauvillier, so I’ve been sending him photos and videos of Beauvillier and asking him why he’s playing hockey instead of being in Delaware. He responded with “it’s classified…”

It’s been like a week and I have yet to blow my bday money. All I really want in life is for Ovi to get the goal record and the release of the Netflix chess documentary.

My dog can magically heal herself right before I take her to see the vet. It’s made me look like the most hypochondriac dog mom. I’m one appointment away from the vet yelling “Ms. Gomez, your dog is fine! Please stop coming here!!!!!”

These esports promos are getting wild.

New work lanyard! 😍

We’re all gonna allow JVKE to use the same album artwork again and again? We’re just gonna let this happen?

My cold dark soul only feels warmth when I’m on my phone using the lichess app to analyze a game.

What’s harder, this puzzle or endgame studies?

Begging isn’t working so I’m gonna try guilt tripping. It’s my bday and I’m one year closer to death. Sure would be nice to get a new @rmnb.bsky.social podcast episode before then….

But I play 1g4 😕….

We’re all just killing time till that Netflix chess documentary comes out, right? Cause that’s what I’m definitely doing.

I finally have half a prediction come true! I predicted Keymer would have a breakout year in chess…….but not in freestyle chess. Can’t have it all Cami, can’t have it all.

You think in couple years from now we’re gonna be saying, “remember those freestyle chess tournaments? They were fun, what happened to them?”

Whoever is opening a snickers bar and putting sprinkles on their cupcake, kindly leave the venue and try not to come back.