It's wild AF that (according to a rumor I heard) Dave Chappelle's whole transphobic melt down was because a doll he paid for sex didn't like him like that and now he's the one sucking cock for money.

But for real, next time you try to put an "antifa" on the news, I need to watch him take a 10" strap both ways before I believe him.

I'm in contact with the real antifa whistleblower but you have to give me $10,000 to meet them. They are nonbinary, of course.

Friendly reminder that if you're micromanaging staff right now, it's probably because you're inecure about your own abilities and if you keep displacing your feelings onto others, you will create a self fulfilling prophecy this project will fail.

Hold on hold on hold on Sorry I'm not here right now I'm on the floor of the hallway in 89 I'm on a dirty crackhouse mattress I'm backstitching myself into this life As if I didn't already have an iron grip. Because I have an iron grip.

It's been real hard lately to do this work in a world that is currently tripping over itself to bend the knee to fascism in all its forms, but then there are bright spots. Like being named a top Restorative Leader. I'm in good company. www.intersectionalinnovations.com/5thedition

I'm back to normal BTW. It was about 30 full hours of depression. I went swimming and now I'm just the regular amount of discouraged and horrified.

A little known fact about me is that I'm actually this fat because every time someone asks me what the fuck anti-capitalist business is and then tries to tell me it's stupid despite the fact that 10 mins ago they didn't even know it exists, I eat them. Clothes and everything. Purses & watches too.

We need to deploy our most passive agressive white women to psychologically abuse the troops like they do their staff of color who are more qualified than them for the same job.

I would turn him into an immortal snail and put him in a jar of salt and start a new religion where we shake the salt every day to keep the evil at bay.

Like dudes. I went to Kinokuya and I literally only bought a notebook I needed for work. What is happening to me?!?!?

I've been depressed for a full 20 hours. That's how you know it's bad rn. I'm literally never depressed. I've had people literally try to murder me and it didn't get me down. Terrified. Yes. Injured, also yes. Depressed? Why? What for? That's how I know depression is a real ass disease.

I've been thinking about how the #metoo movement really kicked off after the diaper Hitler's first term. Everyone was just so fucking pissed and so triggered that they went after every rapist piece of shit they could find because they couldn't dipose the rapist in chief.

The Queer experience is wanting to fuck a ghost.

Everyone's buying slide rulers and at this point I'm afraid to ask.

I used to know how to do winged eyeliner on myself and now I don't. Chat, is this middle age?

I had a dream I saw my dead dogs again and they were healthy and happy. But also we were being chased by thousands of neonazi goths.

All of the "what is" subreddits are just white people touching the absolutely wildest shit.

the year is 2045 the male loneliness epidemic is the only disease anyone's legally ammowed to have per god emperor Vance. Women no longer exist in our borders and at night roving bands of furniture salesmen stalk the streets for feral bros to transform into femmebot couches for the upper classes.

I feel like someone who knows food service management could make a decent living at organizing the unionized Starbucks teams to lease back the stores that corporate is closing on them and make an actually local union coffee spot people wanted to go to.

Another spam bot just offered to get me meetings with "qTBIPOC" professionals which made me realize that the acronym for queer, trans, Black, Indigenous, and other people of color can also be read as queer, traumatic brain injury people of color.

AI bots do make me laugh sometimes tho. Quick question, Julia. How many meetings should a ghost tour be trying to have every month? Because we stick to 3-4 small meetings a day for our health.

A man just walked up to a random 5 year old on the street and said “oh hey, it’s you!” Then he turned to his 5 year old and said “look, it’s your cousin.” To which she replied “I know what my cousin looks like, thanks.”

Am I haunted by the dead or are they haunted by me? I take these bones out and turn them around. Always wondering at their new nature. I stay the same. I tell myself I stay the same. It’s not me that changes. No, it must be the dead.

I'm at the bad kid McDonald's in Wilsonville.

I just can’t believe that I spent my fucking childhood putting PB&Js in every crackhead’s pocket on 2nd st. and telling hookers to use wig glue to keep a female condom in your asshole so the John doesn’t know and you can still charge extra for bareback and now Jimmy Kimmel from the man show is baby.

I always felt like Kimmel made a deal with the devil, so I’m very interested to see if this is really it for him or if his real dad is going to finally reveal himself.

Where's the support group for people who's abandonment issues are being triggered every time they get fired or removed from a project for being a queer Mexican in Trompetoto's America? Because I'll bring the cake.

Every time I take another big L to fascism, I should get to go home and get in bed.

Employers will be like “seeking jack of all trades with strong work ethic… $16/hr” and then wonder why they got a liar who steals from the till.

Eww and no thank you, gym.

My husband said that dark academia is just diet goth and now I can't unsee it.

Have you seen that weird Shoe City billboard on the 26 West into Beaverton? It’s just a white screen that says NIKE Please reopen Shoe City’s account Apparently it used to name a specific Nike employee, but now it doesn’t. That’s not the strangest thing about this fucking billboard.

Taqueria Drive Thru Lady: Hola, bienvenidos a Rico Taco White Husband: Hola! Lady (in very clear English): What can I get for you?

Nihilism ain’t gonna get you nowhere but tired. Of course, protecting our “moral health” is hard right now. But also? It’s always been hard and always will be. It’s hard being black and gay and fierce in this country too. Doesn’t mean it ain’t a miracle in my life. Toughen up and glow up.

I got on YouTube Live tonight and did some painting from memory. Things were going great, but they got so much better when I tried to do Oogie Boogie. We decided this was oogie’s cousin Walter, who is an unsuccessful birthday clown.

Yes, unfortunately everything is woke now. The only thing left for a sigma male to do is eat rocks you find in the street. You gotta really get down low in the street and eat those babies with your mouth. NO HANDS. You’ll never have to mew again.

The relationship I have with the government right now reminds me a lot of my relationship with my violent, addict, conman mother. I stay awake at night trying to figure out how to make her keep her commitments and treat me like a person and and at the end of the day, I will never win because

I had a dream that it was the near future and I had to report to an Elon Musk human testing facility to have a limiter embedded in my brain and for some reason I did it. But when I got home I didn’t feel any different so I tried to take it out and it was just a plastic bottle cap glued to my head.

// If conservatives were serious about the people needing guns to resist tyranny, they wouldn’t have done so much tyranny. Obviously, Charlie wanted those guns to kill school kids, not him! The left need to be more compassionate about the consequences of the right’s bad faith arguments. //

I had a dream that we went to live with my husband’s family but not his IRL family. We went to a remote mountain town that was actually an alien colony and husband’s grandpa was the first human to welcome the aliens and married one. And actually Tom Cruise played him in a movie about the landslide

I’m watching a 90s show. The bad guy just showed the good guy a Polaroid of the sheriff’s daughter and said he’d kidnapped her and would kill her if the good guy didn’t let the bad guy beat him up. But they’re in a crowded bar in a town where everyone hates the bad guy.

Me, over the phone: please don’t put too much mayo on my sandwich. White guy taking my order: I got you, fam. Narrator: he did not got them, for they were not fam. I really need to stop ordering food with my white girl voice.

When I die burn me up and put me in the smallest little thing you can find. Give my ashes out and let people take me away with them. When I am finally gone, I want it to be obvious I loved this planet so much that I left everything here when I went.

I’m really leaning into my seasonal allergies with this makeup look.

For any Portlanders in need of a passport, it looks like the SE 7th st Post Office is actually taking walk ins during the 2-3pm walk in hour.

Do you guys substack? I'm thinking of starting mine back up again. Would you subscribe if I did? marinaisgo.substack.com/subscribe?pa...

Hey, you. On the floor. Counting seconds. I came back to tell you: It doesn’t stop. It never stops. But the seconds get longer and longer. Every year. Until It Almost Could Feel Like It Did Stop Or That … Maybe It Could Someday…

If hard labor could have solved the problems of capitalism,it wouldn’t have made it 10 minutes.

I accidentally saw Honey Don’t tonight and I will seriously do anything to not have to know more about Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke's internalized homophobia and relationship issues. Please stop.