Frankenstein's Dad
@secretmalcolm.bsky.social
📤 130
📥 435
📝 850
my back hurts
There should be one day a year when cats can talk and we can understand them
add a skeleton here at some point
11 days ago
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What if God was one of us/He’s trapped in a sarcophagus
26 days ago
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Alternative History where Tim Curry was in Labyrinth
about 2 months ago
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A muffaletta is a name for a small muff
about 2 months ago
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Asking Jesus what he *really* thinks about Mark Wahlberg
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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I have never gotten lost in a corn maze but on occasions I have been forced to eat my way out
3 months ago
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Ooh no I had a horrible premonition that the Louvre robbery was a concept art piece and let out the loudest groan
3 months ago
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Terrifying + Horrific = Terrific
3 months ago
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Gilmore Girls sounds too much like Golden Girls. We gotta be more strategic about picking TV show names, making sure they pass the “does it sound like another show if you have mouth full of Oreos” test
4 months ago
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They should put QR codes on Pokemon
4 months ago
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He’s called a Pikachu because he perks at you
5 months ago
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Birthday Cube
5 months ago
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The five stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, more anger, hiccups
5 months ago
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Alien vs Predator vs RoboCop
6 months ago
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In Pontypool there is a virus that spreads via speech turning people into insane cannibalistic zombies. Just thinking of that when I read the latest "VC turned insane by exposure to ChatGPT" story
6 months ago
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Probably the hardest part about being depressed is piloting the Mecha
6 months ago
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Pronouncing pirates like pilates
7 months ago
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Eat/Pray/Love/Better/Harder/Faster/Stronger
8 months ago
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Will I understand Diabetes Type 2 if I haven't seen Diabetes Type 1?
8 months ago
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On Easter Sunday you should have to vomit the communion wafer back up
9 months ago
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They should send more pop stars into space when they have reached the end of their useful lives
9 months ago
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Are centaurs allowed to compete in dressage events
9 months ago
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My shower drain is clogged with Chicken McNuggets again
10 months ago
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The three branches of government are the Executive, the Legislative, and catering
11 months ago
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Judy Dench Simulator, a GameCube classic
add a skeleton here at some point
11 months ago
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GoDaddy is named for all the fathers who left to buy a pack of cigarettes and never came back
12 months ago
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An appendectomy is when they cut you open and add an extra organ
12 months ago
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Adding “I have never broken a bone” to my resume
12 months ago
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Heaven (DC jail) is missing some angels (Jan 6th rioters)
12 months ago
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I have so many achilles heels
12 months ago
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The Internet? Oh you mean the Infinite Fun Dimension
12 months ago
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New Marxism: the proletariat shall not be burdened by by the finding out engendered by fucking around of the capitalist class
about 1 year ago
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January is the Monday of the year
about 1 year ago
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Seven brides for seven brothers (they are all draculas)
about 1 year ago
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Business news is like: "GE shares fell shartply Monday, as refrigerator sales failed to meet analyst targets of everyone buying a new fridge every year"
about 1 year ago
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Coarse Ancient Cannibals
about 1 year ago
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Having trouble finding an organ donor with a matching sleep number
about 1 year ago
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This Way: Buns
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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The PF in PF Chang’s is short for Planet Fitness
about 1 year ago
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Instead of semi colons, we should just put two commas in a row
about 1 year ago
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Are we supposed to believe gorillas are particularly good at making glue
about 1 year ago
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Increasingly clear that Tech Nerds don't want to defeat their high school bully, they want to BE the high school bully
about 1 year ago
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Chapstick is what British men call their penises
about 1 year ago
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Rebranding LL Bean to Lil Bean
about 1 year ago
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Replacing project managers with a spambot that occasionally emails "hey folks how we are looking on the Q3 deliverables" doesn't sound that much of a stretch tbh
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Oh no the baby monitor says the baby is at 85% of CPU
about 1 year ago
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Computer needs you to click on burger or horse
about 1 year ago
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Moves Like Jagger (current day)
about 1 year ago
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I assume in Jaws 2 he learns to ride a motorcycle
about 1 year ago
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Heist movies are basically a way to make project management seem exciting
about 1 year ago
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