Genius Businessman Musk saved us so much money! Billionaires are so smrt! (The people they're trying to hire back got 7 months of paid leave in the meantime 🤦‍♂️) apnews.com/live/donald-...

Oh! He was one of those guys you saw in the 80s in Times Square saying they were the lost 12th tribe! I remember them!

My biggest Rapture-in-pop-culture question is why are the clothes left behind but not the bodies? Like, now you’re in heaven in a naked human body while everyone else gets to be an angel? F*** that.

Haven't worn my fitbit in days yet it just estimated I slept 5.5 hours last night. WHO’S BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY FITBIT!?! 😲

“You’ve reached your monthly limit of stories” says the website I haven’t visited in 6 months 🙃

The president is the perfect fusion of the non-Charlie Wonka kids: the gluttonous Augustus, TV-obsessed Mike Teevee, spoiled brat Veruca, and nepo-kid of a dishonest businessman Violet

While you’re waiting for the Rapture, check out the bit of my special where I talk about Left Behind, Hal Lindsay, William Miller, and the End Times! If you grew up Evangelically-adjacent like I did, you’ll dig it! Here it is cued up to the relevant (revelant😜) bit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYJd...

No one’s talking about how great this has been for Celebrity Family Feud

Correction: people don’t think the rapture is today but Tuesday Sep 23, which is my birthday. In lieu of gifts please send me the $ you’ll no longer need in heaven

In honor of The Rapture today, here’s a song I wrote about the time in 1844 when thousands of people were convinced JC was coming back on October 22 youtu.be/WJ_1iZ7Ow2Y

Old enough to remember people freaking out when a *former* president said hi to an Attorney General on a tarmac, but sure, POTUS can tweet at the current AG telling her to prosecute everyone who makes him sad 🙃 www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddo...

Castigat ridendo mores

Speaking of ABC affiliates not wanting to air things, ABC Boston didn’t air the premiere of Welcome Back Kotter because they were worried that showing an integrated high school classroom was too controversial 🙃 www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2014/09...

“Aber-baijan”? He’s probably trying to say “Agrabah” (the kingdom from Disney’s Aladdin)

The Don’t Tread On Me crowd is fine with tyranny when they’re the tyrant

Difficult aspects of US history and culture satirized in The American Songbook: Redacted! A music video special filled with satirical songs! Watch on YouTube before the oligarchs take it down (then you'll have to message me and I’ll try to burn you a DVD 🤷‍♂️) youtu.be/aYJd-r3awzo

Guess I won’t watch Only Murders in the Building with my sister this holiday season 🤷‍♂️ so long Hulu/Disney/and the useless ESPN+ I never used! thanks ABC

When the N train gives you lemons, the 6, E, & Q70 give you a different set of lemons that somehow get you to LaGuardia on time 😅

I have one! Can confirm: it’s a sweet hat 🧢

Ask the Rolling Stones how well hiring bikers for security worked out 🤦‍♂️ www.bbc.com/news/article...

Maybe sportsSky can explain it? Anytime a Viking player falls down it’s a penalty on Chicago? Is that new rule this season?

It’s Bandcamp Friday! The day when bandcamp waives artist fees for me so I got a discount code for YOU! Any digital music is 25% off today with the code sep2025! Get those deep cuts you’ve missed or check out The American Songbook: Redacted from 2022! robprocks.bandcamp.com

Stray Cats let loose in NYC, you say? I’m listening… 😜

Amazon literally sent a picture of my package in a different building 🤦‍♂️

I’ve seen this exact tweet from about a dozen accounts. It isn’t just AI that steals people’s work :-/

This basically sums up the inspiration for my history-based comedy music special The American Songbook: Redacted! This line shoulda been in my press kit!! youtu.be/aYJd-r3awzo

Someone play my song for the Smithsonian! 🎶 Don’t learn your history Just plug your ears and sing! Ignore unhappy subjects Which is almost everything 🎶 Plug Your Ears and Sing! Official Video youtu.be/hZtXfrlupPk

The Tangerine Man is telling the Smithsonian to whitewash our past but you can always learn about the seedy underbelly of US History and Culture through expertly crafted comedy music videos! Here’s the trailer: youtu.be/H3a_DIn2kDg?...

We need to get this dog in the Labor Day Parade in Brooklyn!

Thanks New Zealand!

“Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here…”

The Texas lawmakers should’ve fled to Cancun and invited Ted Cruz

Maybe this is his final public performance?

One of those “20 people think one thing and one guy thinks something else” debates but I’m the one guy trying to convince people Andor isn’t all that

and his plan to clean up after hurricanes is to fire the meteorologists! 🤦‍♂️ www.nbcnews.com/business/eco...

Same! My last name is pretty phonetic, probably thanks to coming from a different alphabet and having to be sounded out when my grandfather came into the country

Re-upping this article from March in honor of today’s GDP numbers. They fired 2 of the advisory committees that help get the numbers right and they talked about changing the GDP formula to subtract government spending so 🤷‍♂️ www.npr.org/2025/03/11/n...

That “rah! rah! ‘Merica!!” commercial for Ram Trucks is so over the top I expect it to invade Iraq 🇺🇸 🦅 💥 🧨

Marty McFly got knocked out after he was hit by his grandfather’s car the same day Doc Brown fell off his toilet and hit his head, meaning both were severely concussed the entire movie 🤕

While working on my design/editing portfolio I made a hype reel from a lot of the DIY projects I’ve done over the past 10 years. If you’ve got a spare 106 seconds, check it out! Music by me :-)

Looks like Cuomo has raised his campaign efforts to “half-assed” up from “one-eighth-assed”

Didn’t expect the All Star Game to end with penalty kicks

For the All Star Game instead of those sliding gloves for running the bases players should wear a big foam #1 finger

Another little animated bit, this time about the song God Bless America, which you’ll hear a lot today if you’re watching sports and stuff. Character is from my video special full of songs inspired by US history & culture, attempting to explain WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?!?!?! 🥴 youtu.be/aYJd-r3awzo

on the F Train a teen girl asked me about the recent SciFi novel I was reading because it was a sequel that she was planning to read soon so I can see why the Fox News pundits are so terrified of the subway

The All Star break is here and I never would have guessed the #1 team in power rankings would be the Detroit Togers! That’s so [sic]!

Guess what, Jet Blue? Sending a dozen 4am emails about a canceled 9am flight didn’t help at all!

I’m guessing it was locusts

Kristi Noem’s 3-day delay getting FEMA aid to Texas was mostly so she could get her ‘crisis outfit’ together