@chelleraiser.bsky.social The truth is out there. Hail Derek!

Grok helped write my doctoral paper

It has been 2 months since I last posted on here. There were 2 notifications and my last post received zero likes. I've had an account since march 2024. Eloon might be a cúnt but fúck this.

What manner of creature is this

The citizens of the Penguin Empire are enraged.

Who are the surrender monkeys now

Why is a previously Russian affiliated hacking group attacking Elon Musk? Is his resolve beginning to weaken because of the financial cost of his damaged reputation?

Bwa. Bwa. Bwa ha ha ha ha.

Well said, John Cleese.

Latest UK big cat sighting.

My heart goes out to the Ketamine Fuelled Buffoon at this difficult time.

This could potentially be a huge environmental disaster for the north east coast, the Wash and Norfolk. 🇺🇸US tanker MT Stena Immaculate struck 🇵🇹 Portuguese bulk cargo ship Solong. 🇺🇸 Ship is a chemical carrier with a capacity of 49,000 tonnes

🦞 Breaking News 🦞 CiA uncovers Chinese plot to just chill on a swing seat with the wife and watch America cave it's own face in with a hammer.

Twitter is down.

I shall be deleted my account on the dead bird app shortly and moving here.

I am the Christmas penguin fallen angel. The harbinger of doom for the ape. All who look upon me shall despair.

...and when my army of lobster leviathans has lain waste to your malevolent works, then shall I descend. I shall waddle amongst the ruins of your cities and your dessicated bodies shall crumble to dust in my passing. And the fire shall be my cloak and the lightning shall be my, erm, hat I suppose.

One of the few ways I can overcome my insomnia is by fantasising about all human civilisation being destroyed by a huge benthic crustacean, and reveling in the tiny screaming of the wretched monkey people as they writhe in agony and then die. How do you get to sleep?

Putin is more than a dumbass. The translation is far more interesting 🤣

Apparently several of the barges protecting the Kerch bridge have sunk in the storms. This exposes weaknesses that could be exploited. The bridge has an unusual construction - A detonation under or against the plinths that connect the columns to the pylons would be irreparable.

I am become dark penguin, destroyer of monkeys. Die monkey people. Die die die die die.

This is how it ends

🦞 Breaking News 🦞 Elon Musk and Nigel Farage's honeymoon interrupted by giant lobster attack

I've been on here for about 9 months now. Admittedly I haven't posted much but I don't understand people who say they get more engagement here than the dead bird app. Anyway, Andrew Tate has a secret cupboard containing guns and a naked man's beleathered anus.

2025 starts like this

This is from a thread I posted on the dead bird app in February. The west has been at war for at least two years, and it is losing. Death by a thousand cuts.

Olaf the derpy.

The ruZZian navy base at Tartus, Syria. Will it burn?

The chickens are leaving

Does anyone know who this is?

I am convinced that this is true for every demagogue, murderous despot and billionaire that has every risen. Men with tiny penises should be excluded from positions of power.

🦞 Breaking news 🦞 New species of mermaid discovered in Russia. Known as the "effluent mermaid" or "Syreni Purgamentorum" it thrives in highly polluted aquatic environments such as sewage processing facilities and the river Moskva

This is the most Yorkshire thing imaginable.

This is a huge solar maximum year with coronal mass ejections and aurora in unusual latitudes. Climate is a complex system and establishing causation is not simple, but the narrative attributing this years flood/weather events only to emissions is unscientific. angeo.copernicus.org/articles/39/...

Cheese was much bigger in the old days

Young love is inseparable from the consumption of the congealed rendered fatty tissue of a pig.

I'm really not sure about this new Jaguar advert

I'm just nipping to the shop does anyone need anything?

On behalf of every miserable cantankerous old curmudgeon I say "shove your friendly smile and cheerful wave up your gangrenous pustulant arsehole you nauseatingly cheerful little fuckers"

💘 American band Metallica has shared a cover of "Nothing Else Matters," performed on a bandura by Ukrainian artist and soldier Taras Stoliar. 📹: metallica / Instagram

I can only do this post without saying anything about it. Please feel free to ignore it. I just need to post it.

Please proceed accordingly.

They accidentally posted a photo of trump without his wig on.

Does anyone know if there's a free app that can create an accurate text transcript from a voice recording? Ideally something that would work on windows or android. It created one automatically at the time the recording was made but it is gibberish and doesn't distinguish different people.

From the dead bird app.