capitalism has really sucked the joy out of just liking things. you can't just really like things anymore. they've got to be holographic or play on the prediction market to have any value

like many ppl in LA I'm disappointed not being where I thought I'd be by now... and that's mostly dead at the bottom of a ravine.

if I could go back in time I'd fucking eat so many steaks as a kid. fuck those chicken nuggets and juice boxes. just steaks, truffle brownies, and milkshakes.

the most generous casting in Hollywood is Lorraine and Ed Warren

I think I've done everything I ever wanted to do 🙉

I miss vine

what if instead of Tony Stark telling everyone he was Iron Man at the end of Iron Man, he just let out a long, loud, smelly, wet fart.

release the hogan files.

Stranger Things 5: they're all 30 now.

The first person to die: Hey, what the hell... ?

SPOILERS: Superman stops Lex Luthor by introducing him to an Asian woman.

all my journals eventually turn into suicide notes that are dated

can you imagine if superman did coke?

@jamesgunn.bsky.social Katy O'Brian should be wonder woman. and me? well make me condiment king 😀

an act of kindness is to not kill yourself on someone you love's birthday.

I eye fuck the shit out of myself in the mirror.

there should be a special program for people who wanna stay single, childless, and just wanna keep up with the MCU that will just let them live in a studio for free until they're dead.

that physical exhaustion osmosis when listening to someone talking about picking up a second and third shift at work.

The sigh you make when you wake from shit sleep as you squint through tired eyes and wonder how your hair got so messy and dry like a tumbleweed

the best thing about the post apocalypse? no bills to pay! the worst? deciding who to eat for dinner.

I'm either at 1. hey things ain't too bad or 2. I'd like to be dead now.

what's my advice for new comics? call 911!

I had a dream where Tim Robinson was the Penguin and now that's all I'm thinking about.

the regret from some of the right isn't about empathy, most of it is because of their loss of workforce - which means their bottom lines - so fuck them.

Me, reading about the Male Loneliness Epidemic: "The hell are they talking about? hahaha," Yabes lauded, echoing into the big empty space that was his apartment.

I deleted my threads account and now I can't get back on it lol

Hello everyone!

What's good fam?

I remember watching DragonBall Z as a kid and there was an episode where Gohan taught Videl how to fly and I legit thought you could. I was also an idiot.

Hi, everyone! Who needs comedy writers?

I'm a stand up comic

Hire me

I'm a clean mess

Somebody hire me

Someone guide me through this lol what should I post?

Any good recs of ppl to follow here? I'm into: -film -animation -comedy -open to suggestion

@jamesgunn.bsky.social lemme be Condiment King!

Sorry for being away so long! I'm staying here.

Hello!

Hello

I am back.

Trying to be happy is easier said than done.

Anyone here?

I've had a lot of close calls with death with just my health which is funny because I'll try my best to live better but eventually I go back to not caring if I die haha

The best Cody Rhodes promo? "He's trying to fuck on me!" iykyk

Anyone hiring here?

Maybe ghosts are addicted to scaring, like maybe it gives them the best high and we can't even imagine.