The middle classed, middle aged joy of ordering a new mattress 😅

Mum is out of surgery and awake 😊

Mum's currently in surgery. I know it's a pretty routine operation but I am worried for her as it's a general anaesthetic and she's in her seventies.

There are worse ways to spend a weekend.

Fox cooked us chicken, chorizo and prawn paella for dinner ^^

A fun way to wake up.

I got to breed the housepup yesterday but the hump he gave me first was just the best I've ever had. Never felt so good.

Suitably attired for a day with two pups.

A cute pup in my bed.

Daddy's up, kiddo. You want breakfast?

Fucking love this top.

Best part of this kind of lay - when one of you says "my knees are done, we need to swap"

Well that was a heady fuck 🤒

Fox made me king prawn stir fry for dinner 😊

There are so many photos coming up on my feed that I imagine I can smell. And they smell good.

Waiting... #FCF

This is why every company should employ at least one proud pervert - to stop designs like this ever coming out.

The closer I get to finishing work today, the more horny I'm getting - it's proving hard to concentrate. Going to burst out of my shorts at this rate *strains*

I reconnected with someone from the fandom yesterday I'd not spoken to in a decade or so. He has morphed from a very cute little bull into an extremely hot little pup - and seeing some photos has put ideas in my head 😈

Ann Widdecombe is dead. Another hateful bigot consigned to the dustbin of history.

Honestly officer, my towel just fell open.

Not a great video as it's hard to catch them but we're getting starling murmurations over our house. There's hundreds of them and the noise is amazing! They're just lapping over our house.

Two of my favourite band names: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists The Eighties Matchbox B-line Disaster And they make great music too ^^

I've just discovered that in some parts of America, flapjacks aren't flapjacks - they're pancakes. This has upset me more than it should and I now crave violence.

Another weather record broken. The UK in 2026 has now had eight days where the temperature has exceeded 34C, breaking the records set in 1976 and 2020. And we're only just starting summer 😪

I am really rather horny today. I assume it's because I have a house puppy coming to stay over the weekend, which is always a fun time 😊

A manifesto I can get behind!

Happy #humpday 😈

🚨 BREAKING: Labour says it won't stand against Nigel Farage in the Clacton by-election As it stands, only Count Binface will run against Farage

I am so annoyed that Neil Gaiman was such a shit. So much I like he has a hand in. Sandman, Lucifer, Good Omens - they are world class and it makes me sad.

I'd try and convince Carol Vorderman to run against Farage in Clacton. That would be a fun watch 😅

When today's work safety meeting is about what you did at work yesterday.

Another stinking hot day in the city where I've had to wear far more clothes than is appropriate for this weather. I can't wait to get home and put a lot fewer clothes on *pants*

Farage should pay the costs of the by election given: - he called it - he's running in it - by his own words he's loaded - he hates seeing taxes wasted

Nigel Farage has resigned! Most likely to avoid the results of the parliamentary enquiry into his crooked finances - he always was a snivelling little victim card-playing coward. But still, fuck off you grifting, race-baiting cunt UK politics just got *slightly* better. One fewer stool in the pool

Perfume names are getting worse.

What if a werewolf bit a normal wolf? Did you ever think of that? You didn't. You're too busy thinking how not to starve under capitalism.

There is a special circle of hell for people who watch phone videos on the train on loudspeaker. Trains are for absolute silence 😠

"Still punk as fuck", I whisper as I turn the down the car stereo so I can see better.

#monochromemonday It's been a very hot and sweaty day. Give it a kiss?

Had to be in London for meetings, suited and booted. My shirt and indeed my boxers are basically soaked through ☹️

It's too fucking hot again.

I want Rupert's Fingers.

Tomato and basil pasta, with garlic bread 😊

Filth.

Making a tear and share cheesy garlic bread with sun dried tomatoes and pepperoni 😊