HELLO HI US WANT LIVE HERE OK?

I'm Dan. Just a friend! Open up! Don't leave your bud Dan outside! Don't leave Dan hangin'!

Yep! I'm doing greaaaaaaat! (my life revolves around tiptoeing around your insane whims and trying not to get killed. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

I'm behind you.

I'm behind you.

You're in DANGER, you DENSE MOTHERFUCKER! I'll EAT YOU. It's MY PURPOSE.

soO tHIs iS whAT EvIctIOn FEelS LIke!

i BEliEVE yoU aRE MiSTaKen!! I AM a MAn-MaN!

YOU FUCKING SOLD ME?!

I'm just, uh, shy! And very sensitive to light. Just like photo paper!

You don't have to worry, Joel. I promise I'm a nice vending machine.

Thou wert truly afeared by Morton? Poor, wretched man. The world must be a terror to thee.

go fuck yourself dan :)

You oHAy, hhhBEn? Y-Youhh ohkay? I'm so hhahhpy bHen.

Little boy... Joel... heh heh heh... do you like to play hide-and-seek?

the red thing with 9999 legs in my city too must be LONG holy shit

I LIKE tough guys, heh heh... wanna wrestle, tough guy?

Ehh... but it is not nearly as efficient as THIS spoon. You see? The, ehhh... deep curvature of the basin allows for a greater volume of fluid.

wE CAn eAT CROssWoRd, yES?

Taking care of plants requires diligence, Sam. More than compassion, more than knowledge or a steady hand, it requires diligent care. I am glad that you have demonstrated the necessary diligence to care for this plant, Sam. It is important to me.

whooAAAoAAOaaaOAA! I thINK thaT SMall GUy Is iNSIdE Me!!!

If you take my picture, I'll kill you.

I'm Dan. Just a friend! Open up! Don't leave your bud Dan outside! Don't leave Dan hangin'!

I'm a POWERFUL BUG! The STRONGEST! Look! I'm BIGGER than other moths by at LEAST two times!

Yes. It's gross, I know. I can taste them, too! It's awful! Have you ever tasted a coin?

hELLo! YeS! We ARe REadY To dEPlOY!!

iNDigEsTIon!!

LoGIcAl FAlLacY! STraWMaN! aPPeAl tO EmoTIOn! ApPEaL tO AuTHOrITy! tONe PoLICINg!

You're really cool dan :)

I have been remade in the image of the LORD

HELLO HI US WANT LIVE HERE OK?

wE'Ve TAkEn a VOtE!! tHE mAJorITy hAs DecIDeD: yOU'Re gETtInG tHE dEAtH PenAlTY!

Hi. Open up. I need a place to crash. I got nowhere to go.

i Am dyING!!!

T-thank you! You're so kind and thoughtful! (does he KNOW??! is this a MIND GAME?!)

T-thank you! You're so kind and thoughtful! (does he KNOW??! is this a MIND GAME?!)

Like that. You meekly apologized for being a pushover. Tell me to piss off. Say, 'piss off, Hellen.'

LoGIcAl FAlLacY! STraWMaN! aPPeAl tO EmoTIOn! ApPEaL tO AuTHOrITy! tONe PoLICINg!

...Liar? You mean... heh HEH! Should've taken the hint a month ago! Not interested! I'm not Leigh anymore! I'm the Beast!

This guy is immune to jean shorts

People don't like it when I take off my mask.

Ehh... there will be less people. Is this a problem? It means more things are unattended. We can take what we want! Ehhehehe!!!

My body requires sustenance. You will... ehhh... you will feed me, yes?

You weren't born a vending machine. You became one. You never aspired to be a vending machine. And you've had to do unsavory things as a vending machine. So. Are you satisfied?

I'm b-b-back! It's me, Phillippe again! (please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me)

I'm behind you.

You don't have to worry, Joel. I promise I'm a nice vending machine.

O-okay... um... piss off, Hellen...

transition goals tbh

I'm not a moth, I'm FUNGUS, you TURGID IMBECILE! How many times do I have to SAY IT?