apparently the Big Three run shadow, web-only broadcasts dressed in full Trusted Nightly News adornment so web viewers think the networks risked their boomer audience credibility on these topics, when none was (boomers never saw it), and the stream's own credibility rises on that imagined spend

among the many evil business models that offer negative value even to their ideal customer and only exist to happen across the senile or gullible, "free steak dinner for retirees" is up there

I get the rules may be deliberately written to make pharmaceutical commercials too stupid to be produced, but can we at least get rid of the one requiring they say: "do not take x if you are allergic to x"?

The move comes as the U.S. body tasked with making recommendations for vaccine use is scheduled to consider the safety of COVID-19 shots, and two of the study’s authors say their findings will be discussed.

every unsubstantiated or inflammatory right wing tweet now starts with the phony qualifier "like, " as if the grown man sending it were from 1995's Clueless. almost as wimpy and pitiable as the left's wine moms' exasperated "make it make sense"

if so much of taste is smell, why does everyone get so bent out of shape when i talk about perfumes in terms of flavor?

I get "bought and paid for" sounds cool but you can't use it if all your transactions settle instantly. leave it for us in the invoice generation

ashamed i did not catch late shows were vessels for establishment sinecures when Conan's absurd remotes went backstage to harangue staff for inability to articulate their role. it took learning Colbert had 200 sucklers. a one-man jobs program of wealth redistributed by a host too liberal to hoard it

forget tinfoil hats, i want aluminum foil in my walls to shield me from microwave weapons, WiFi sensing, deauth attacks, packet snooping, thermal imaging, and backscatter vans

turning a big dial taht says "agitprop" on it and constantly looking back until the business end of the long tail is radicalized to do my bidding

dads can become so enraptured by a song that they bite the bullet and sheepishly turn to their kids to uncover its singer, which invariably comes back Ed Sheeran

mistakenly thought FHRITP had noble origins and the drive-by shoutings of the phrase were retribution for news anchors' insincerity. crass off camera while polished on? we'll corrupt your on-air persona with a phrase, when searched, returns your people's original hypocrisy. turns out it was all fake

that "I wish ill upon…" was an interesting troll. the moderation standard was supposed to be "anything that expresses the intent of wishing ill" yet "I wish ill" is a full string match that confoundingly does not semantically reduce to wishing ill

what are some good products to buy and discard if you only need their vessel because it's cheaper than the vessel alone for someone just getting into skiplagging physical objects? jams for mason jars, sand for buckets, …

irrationally annoyed foreign languages' synonyms aren't Soundex close when that's not a thing in English either

cancellation is the punishment we dole out not for deed or belief, but for going mask off. how dare you remind me everyone harbors the same cynical, dark thoughts by speaking them aloud? i wanted an innocent world of noble savages and you took that from me. now choke it down, become the sin eater

I get how being cross-pressured on "ought" beliefs drives centrists to extremes to maintain their ingroup. but adopting "is" beliefs and warping your model of reality to fit in is beyond the pale. morons twisting their mind into knots to believe the mRNA vaccines aren't incredibly safe and effective

revealed objections to home shoe removal: 1) you stole the gestalt of my curated costume of confidence 2) socks carry me, unasked, into the mental frame of home life—a reverse intimacy invasion not unlike weirdos who lure you into a restroom by leaving it unlocked then say "just washing my hands!"

the way all animal bladders empty in 20 seconds, we have arbitrary attractors for many things of which outliers are practical and would sell. phone battery: 1 day. car fuel: 300 miles whether gas or batteries. fridge: 20 ft³. drone flight time: 25 minutes. phone photo output res: 12 MP

what is with the absolute dogshit generic low fidelity photographs from "photography accounts" clogging up the Discover feed?

sending a mess of old photos off to be scanned in bulk? the best first step is to turn them all upside down and arrange into piles by backprinting, watermarks, size, yellowing, any hints they came from the same roll. then by front finish: glossy/matte. then separate by wildly disparate content

I blindly posted this before learning of the racial disparities, but why is there no inquiry into selecting a new frequency that is similarly irritating to all people? seems an incredible lifesaving ROI

we could probably learn a lot about trans people by finding (possibly very rare) true cis people who openly profess to be born in the right body with strong attachment to their gender irrespective of biology. all the cis I encounter, and me, are just "eh, this is the mech I rolled into. seems fine"

if you insist on filming an active shooter, do what i did as a ricochet-wary child firing a BB gun at a CO₂ cartridge and determine whether the percent your body subtends of the shooter's unit sphere fits into your risk profile

letting out a "fuck yeah" under my breath when a one shot, short, low lexical density question still immediately kicks GPT-5 into thinking mode

if "online atheists are a fallen sect of christianity who believe practicing christians are insufficiently pious" then Bluesky anti-AI posters are a fallen sect of AGI true believers who find current AI insufficiently miraculous

very funny. which one of you did this?

Warby Parker really dropped the ball not naming their frames in proportion to their gender ambiguity. from masculine to unisex to feminine: Chuck, Evan, Casey, Paige, Lily

humans are incredible fat hiders. a 125 lb woman who looks perfectly slim can lose 20 lbs and barely look any slimmer. meanwhile a 500 lb man you thought was 350 lbs tops can lose 250 lbs and look about the same when all that loss wouldn't even fit in a wheelbarrow

I now almost solely post replies to myself and create topical threads, so hit that tab for better recency sorting

do we only have notifications on so when a friend does pipe up we can reply quickly enough to simulate the interactivity of a real-time hang?

browsing the thumbnails in the Tea app leak significantly updated my preconceptions about both its users and subjects

#GnomonDental Cap'n Crunch Home Oral Surgery Kit Line of consumer-grade oral surgery tools designed to exploit the sharp edges of Cap'n Crunch cereal. youtube.com/watch?v=uZSj... gnomonchronicles.com/wiki/Cap%27n...

the strongest nonfamilial bonds are between an orthodontist and a big family who put all their children through the traumatic coerced intimacy of multi-year plastic surgery regimens by a benevolent tormentor financed by striver parents

"you pick lunch" either means "i have no preference and would be happy with anything" or "i am testing your mind reading ability and will judge failure" and each party assumes the other thinks like them. the tester gets upset at being tested and the indifferent fails by missing it was a test at all

if laws change to allow drivers to run over protestors, cops shouldn't be allowed to dive in front of fleeing cars to add an attempted murder charge to a suspect

impotent sounds like it should mean chemically insufficient, not mechanically

#GnomonTV #ComingSoon "Red Bluetooth 2049"

interesting element of pre-cell phone movies I only now notice is how often plot advancement requires random urban encounters—characters bumping into or homing in on each other in a large city—and how we did not demand contrivance for it or notice the unlikelihood

1st meeting: some real potential chemistry here 2nd: we are practically buzzing. but let's not make out immediately next time. build to it 3rd: how did the vibes sour so quickly and turn us adversaries?

is the proliferation of rappers with diminutive prefixes an argument for the importance of later birth order for success in that domain? creative, rebellious, attention-seeking to stand out

we could Fourier fox hunt all the signal jammers in our community simply by asking where each city subreddit finds regular Bluetooth dropout and cellular dead zones along their commute

terms like gentrification, cultural appropriation, and privilege were supposed to be purely descriptive attempts to map nebulous territory with a fuzzy lasso. they weren't meant to be bidirectional barrels through which you could fire back admonishment and meaningfully hit "bad" individuals

i was one-shotted by a tweet asking if our national incarceration rate is below the percent of my high school class that should be permanently locked away. how the bottom 1% fare is an excellent societal litmus if people are blank slates. terrible if 1% are irredeemable. let's focus on the 2-50%ile

unlike most fruits which are only delicious at one point between sour and sweet, lychees are different types of delicious along a wide, continuous range of ripeness

in awe of the agency of those who switch their entire family's mobile phone plan to save a few bucks. dealing with number porting, locked devices, installment plans, data transfer, trade-in condition, lock screens, general family coordination. miss one billing glitch and you come out behind

restless night panicking a rabies bat nesting in my newspaper box grazed me as i checked the mail. woke up to pull dashcam footage to confirm it was a bird

scallops on a dress are so attractive because they deform so easily, flaring around a biting hem to topographically warn of adiposity otherwise unknowable without intimacy

autists find flossing as sexual as normies find twerking

it's binned with "audience capture" or "personal brand" to find yourself becoming an exaggerated self-caricature, but a "grow where you are planted" interpretation of life success (cultivate innate skills and preferences to thrive in a specialized world) eventually demands it anyway