“When Liu, 20, decided to return to skating, she did so with conditions. She’d wear what she wants. Dance to the music she wants. Eat what she wants. Take breaks when she wants…. [Skating] would be the vehicle through which she displayed the real Alysa.” she did it! her! way!!

This doesn’t sound like the Wesley R. Dingus I know

This really is a great picture:

Sushi and Ice Cream Sandwiches (Neapolitan) because I’m an adult

I’m glad that the NBC coverage of the Olympics automatically switched to local news right before the medal ceremony and now I can’t find it anywhere. Love love love it

Incredible performance. Just wow 🔥❤️🙏

Me when I lie:

Every commercial about prescription drugs: “Do not take if you are allergic to this drug” Americans:

Mushroom Risotto with grilled chicken, Goat and Parmesan cheese 🤤

MLB broadcasters in preparation for working with Clayton Kershaw:

Random, but I remembered this artist I discovered in 2020, making remixes to current events and all the bullshit we’re subjected to 24/7. Found one of their newer songs, it SLAPS 😭🔥❤️👌 #medsky #ItCanOnlyGoodHappen youtu.be/iLayVQs9mWE?...

I’m gonna make a mushroom risotto with goat cheese and there’s very little you can do to stop me because I have free will, unlike Free Willy who was forced to swim in the wild after private equity evicted him from his celebrity land life (probably)

When asked what new venture she would be tackling, McLaughlin exclaimed: “Market conditions are ripe for the 1st ever Human Leather company, making quality American-Made products from the skins of immigrants, particularly children. I’m pulled towards a higher calling, and this is it”

Harry Potter bobblehead night where Griffin Canning is transformed into Buckbeak wearing a Gryffindor Padres hat* *with purchase of a THEME GAME ticket

AJ Preller really does hate Mexicans 😭 💔

Padres win the Austin Nola trade 😎

Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years

“Hi, we see you’re trying to watch the San Diego State Aztecs on the expensive YouTube TV. Another game is playing, but if you want to watch you can download this special app from CBS that will also cost money and add more headaches cause America”

Alcohol: nature’s Ozempic

Last time I went to Wendy’s, I ordered a [redacted], [redacteds], and a Sour Cream + Chives baked potato. I get home . . . No sour cream in the bag 😭 Nowadays you gotta ask for napkins, ketchup, hell, you must assume the entire order is wrong every time 😭 Alas, the horrors continue . . .

Me: “I shall buy this $5 chicken that can provide protein for most of the week” The 1 %: “YOU WELFARE SLUTGOBLIN YOU’LL NEVER OWN PROPERTY OR PEOPLE WITH THOSE NASTY HABITS!!”

Wait, how is Snoop Dogg doing video bits with NBC and the Olympics? Isn’t he on retainer with the Trump administration after selling out and performing at his inauguration?

San Diego Padres: “We will continue to be active on the platform that elevates Nazi discourse and child porn”

When the dodgers visit the White House (again) Trump is 1000% going to ask for either: a) The World Series trophy b) The World Series MVP trophy c) Clayton Kershaw’s daughter d) All of the above

four year old, the moment the bad bunny halftime show ended: “can we watch that again?”

WOKE 2 IS HERE

Bad Bunny finally said something in English: “San Francisco!”

call me "woke" or whatever but I think the Superbowl should have less football and more dancing latinas

MAGA: “Finally an English part! 😡”

Flyover country facebook uncles are inventing new slurs

This halftime show is perfectly crafted to annoy all the worst people.

Morgan Wallen fans seething at the TV right now

I mean who DOESNT love a low scoring, defensive Super Bowl 🤷‍♂️

No Kings includes Draft Kings

Super Bowl LX Begins With Moment Of Silence For Failed Bay Area Startups

Americans may not have a lot, but at least we have this

I’m just glad we get a break from seeing video of Brittany and Jackson Maholmes for at least a year

They should’ve gotten Trump to do another flawless, definitely not awkward at all coin toss to show off how Sigma Male he is

Back when America was great, we’d get flyovers from B2 bombers, not B1 bombers that show up late 😭

Surprised they didn’t put up a live feed of the US bombing another fishing boat on the Jumbotron cause MURRICA

Conservatives up in arms with Bad Bunny singing at halftime when there’s already a Charlie singing pre-game #TurningPointForTheUsa

All I can think about during these player intros is Key and Peele 😭

My entire body is twitching with exhaustion just watching the Skiathlon 😭

dodgers agree to visit the White House in the year 2026 THE YEAR OF INFINITE HORRORS then DFA a Mexican/American from their team . . . 🤔

it's not just that Mamdani is charming af (he is), it's that he is normalizing the idea that children are full members of society that we all share a collective responsibility for

Kyle Tucker eat your heart out 😎

we need every grain of sand in the gears. every single one.

“Who could’ve predicted this?”

Your AI-based rural doctor: “Hi, I’m Dr. Zack Muckergerg. Would you like to allow cookies for this examination? Pull my finger to choose ‘Yes’.”