Me: "I'm going to take down these closet doors and reverse them!" Also Me: "Oh, they're made so they can't be reversed. Better put'em back!" Me Too: "Wait, how did these doors get reversed." Being stupid sucks.

Mustard made by beavers. What a world.

Every article, opinion, or think piece coming out about how Democrats "need to realize the moment and act" are probably the same people who said "justice is coming" before pivoting to "Vote Blue No Matter Who". They're all full of shit. It's been over a year and Democrats are still willing enablers

Spent the entire afternoon and evening thinking "this migrainey thing is so mild it would be a waste of a pill", but now it's ten hours later and it seems to be counter-acting my sleepy time pill, so now I'm annoyed. The answer is to always take the drugs. If you have the drugs, put them in you.

It seems like, without exception, "small business owner" on a ballot is code for "fucking asshole".

I feel like having people vote for some of these state positions that rarely get public coverage or awareness is some kind of scam. Do these people even make policy decisions or is their job to make sure the paperwork goes back and forth.

I've been glancing at my mail-in ballot the last few days wondering if should vote for what I think is correct or what I think will cause the "least" harm. And you know what, fuck it. Fuck all these people. I'll be voting exclusively for whoever has the best ideas to tear all this shit down.

Released in 2004. youtu.be/F5QDHbz0k2Y?...

It would be somewhat useful if Scrivner had a thing that told you the last time you edited a page was.

I don't usually like cover songs, but I kinda like this one more than the original. youtu.be/odVsy4gwZGM?...

Feeling annoyed at wondering if the random webpage I'm reading was faked up by AI makes me realize that at some point, I started accepting whatever the random webpage told me was likely true and that's a discomforting thought.

Why would they make Hutt the name of the species instead of like, a role in the syndicate. It's the same as if there was a crime boss out of Chicago named Bob the Human.

Alright, toilet epiphanies! Do your thing!

Interesting. I was looking at the actual numbers of various things and found that if my living situation changes even slightly, it's mathematically impossible for me to be alive.

Kept the cat out of my room so he wouldn't wake me up at 5am, woke up at 5am on my own anyway.

When people make these weird porn games, do they have to code their own boob physics or does it come free with an Unreal Engine license? Who had that job at Epic? Did they have to make it specifically for people to use with the engine or did they just yank it from a previous game? What game was it?

How big can a canyon be

You're not getting me today, pee schedule. I deny you!

Looks like another day of politicians trying to tie Epstein's criminal network to only a few politically expendable culprits. That's convenient. I guess all the photos and documents and witness testimonies about prominent figures from both parties will be gotten to in the next few decades.

Wow, migraine medicine rules. You just take it and it works. Suck on that, ibuprofen.

It's a bad sign when you go to meet your new doctor and he shuffles into the room like a fucking zombie, sits there in complete silence reading your file, then finally looks up and goes "does ADD medicine help you?" Like he's asking if your tinfoil hat really keeps the aliens from contacting you.

Man, after watching all those episodes of You Bet Your Life months ago, I'm still mentally pronouncing a lot of words like Groucho. Or rather, woids.

Fat, smelly cat was in here last night only to wake me up at 4am to let him out, now he's in here again like nothing happened.

In this episode of The Clone Wars, a children's cartoon from over 15 years ago, the 12-year-old tells us how vital it is for citizens to be on guard against corruption in government, shortly before the leader tries to overthrow it with the aid of his loyal unmarked police and foreign agents.

Screaming into the void sucks. Time to increase my fame.

This guy's a fucking lunatic.

This guy wrote a song that came to him in a dream and wants to ban porn and usher in "the Kingdom".

This dipshit is really plugging AI-driven "fraud detection", so that sounds like a horrible idea.

This lady's campaign website specifically has a "explanations so you know what stuff means" page where it makes a lot of nicely-formatted generalizations, but zero practical examples. Is this satire? Am I in hell?

Gad damn, the primary for Governor's got like fifty people in it. They let just any random jackass run for leader of a state with millions of people in it? What a profoundly stupid system.

Are there long-term effects of being Jedi Mind Tricked? I bet there hasn't been a single study. Are they force-pushing your brain so it slams the back of your skull and leaves you disoriented? What are these space wizards doing to us?

Is this episode of The Clone Wars, a children's cartoon made over 15 years ago, corrupt government officials accept bribes and a bunch of children die of poisoning. After the minions are arrested, the PM declares the crisis over, but after being pressed for more action, promises to form a committee.

The hell kind of potato chip flavor is "all dressed"? Vinegar and ketchup?

You can't go wrong with robot battles in hip-hop. youtu.be/6QSy4MPYc_Y?...

I did not enjoy the 90s as much as I should have. youtu.be/30TQ-zSfwgs?...

They should make a Tomb Raider game where Lara Croft fights Carmen Sandiego. Then at the end Nazis show up and they team up to kill them.

What's something I can use to electrocute myself for five to ten seconds where it hurts, but like, not a LOT.

I really need to be exposed to more people. Like where they can't escape.

Why aren't companies like Sodastream figuring out how to suck CO2 out of the sky and clean it up so they can bottle it? It's a gold mine of fizziness! Just send a dude up in a balloon with a vacuum and some empty jugs, we can save the Earth and have root beer floats at the same time.

Okay, Merriam-Webster's website lists synonyms for "subtle" as "cunning", which I can sorta get. "Nice", which makes no sense, but gives a definition of "made with extreme care or accuracy". That sounds more like precision? Or I dunno, attentiveness? And the third synonym is "exquisite". What why.

They should sell eggnog Melona bars in Winter. It's free money!

You're not beating me, bladder. I set the schedule now. There will be no tinkling before 2pm!

Americans are the dumbest fucking humans on the planet, part 1,132,548,329.

This balling socks thing is tremendous. I no longer have to reach into the dark with trepidation weighing on my heart.

I wish I had found this band when I was an impressionable teen. I would be so much cooler now. youtu.be/EkaczeLKKAk?...

What if I just drank the Pepsi flavor juice?

I have acquired root beer flavor juice to join my Pepsi flavor juice. So this is what it means to surpass a god.

I can't seem to find any members of Congress talking about the sudden redistricting and disenfranchisement taking place in a lot of states over the past couple days. Granted there's hundreds of these worthless bastards, but most are only talking about the cool places they visited for a photo op.

It'd be nice if people finally shut up about the press sucking and pivoted to what we are replacing it with. It just sounds like whining. "Aw, Biden never had a sweet deal like this! Imagine if he did! Just imagine!!" Fuck Biden. Fuck the media. What are we replacing it with.