(explaining death to a gen alpha kid) my mom is lost media

they named a bird after jeff tweedy

Katy Song 10 hours extended

who would’ve thought the giants would turn out to be the most homophobic team in the mlb

feeling like the gay giles corey

god owes me a million dollars

roscoe’s modern village

what ever happened to coffee flavored coffee

it appears as though my psychiatrist prescribed me the medication that instantly gives you a migraine

i’m quite down on my luck

bad day

as a wise man once said: i’m so fucked up

trying my best to make the instagram algorithm think i’m australian

has anyone thought about abolishing private property? just an idea i had

can’t wait for fried rice dinner tonight #rice

i wish suburban drivers would be dealt a triple-whammy

i finished all my time sensitive tasks at work today so now i can just pace back and forth for the next few hours

feeling kind of normal with a packed lunch

excuse me, is this your locus of control? i think you dropped it

what if his name was trans reznor. is that anything

i’m going to go to the lake stick my head underwater and scream until i pass out

would you guys do things even if you didn’t have to

getting a bagel and coffee #breakfastmode

this is a pig oink oink oink oink

hey i wont be able to come in today. i’m paralyzed by the emptiness

nothing quite like those good old raisins and peanuts to satiate your hunger while out on the trail #gorp #gorpcore #granolagirl

my soup came in the mail today we settled on chicken noodle turns out it tastes ok with some bread and crackers

logging on and immediately seeing three different news stories that ruin my day

what a fucking crazy beautiful day outside it is today

(guy named Boyd) i’m boydmoding

i'm getting crinkle cut, deep fried, and served as the blue plate special tomorrow

someone should invent a cafe in chicago that doesn’t close at 4 pm

having some [SPONSORED PRODUCT] right now would fix me

i just found the sunglasses from They Live and it turns out that I’m an evil alien. fml

one’s gotta go: cheeseburger pizza pain and suffering french fries

call me garbage the way i’m in the dumps

emma’s romantic life is floundering, like a fish

does anyone still listen to music. or is that over now

(world where the names for clams and oysters are switched) i’m as happy as an oyster

sitting completely still listening to nine inch nails at my desk

i’m gonna to be the first person to use every single bathroom in my office building

i’m kind of incapable of even pretending to care at work now

how now brown cow?

grubs

i made the mistake of talking to one of the canvassers in andersonville and now i’m enlisted in the french foreign legion :/

might go outside and lay on the ground for a few hours

puuugjhghhgnjghgjhhhhh

I fell ill in Illinois

i have been exiled to the far reaches of the continent

does anyone know if