This is something I needed to see today.

I’ve never seen Anything, Anything this stupid, @nytimes.com (also I’m very old)

Newsletter: For TV this week we chatted some on FSU’s high school recruiting & development, so I started doing some research. The numbers are unbelievable. And no, not in a good way. davidhale.substack.com/p/swings-and...

Points Per Drive vs. Explosive Play Rates on offense & defense for every Big 12 team... Credit to Oklahoma State. Just dreadful on both sides of the ball. Also, why'd Texas Tech invest so heavily in Sorsby? The Cincy offense was very good.

ICYMI: I asked former Clemson LB Wade Woodaz about Tom Allen’s comments that last year’s team was, perhaps, entitled. And what really led to the 7-6 disappointment? Inside ACCess airs Wednesdays at 4 on ACCN… or follow the pod! linktr.ee/InsideACCess

ICYMI: We talked to the great @brucefeldmancfb.bsky.social about how Miami replaces so much veteran talent after last year’s playoff run. He’s an optimist here… Inside ACCess airs Wednesdays at 4 on ACCN or follow the pod: linktr.ee/InsideACCess

Think Father Dowling was Tom Bosley, not DVD. Let’s just hope all this doesn’t signal a US-Pope Divorce: American Style.

I've spent 14 years at ESPN and unquestionably the low point is when they switched from Slack to Teams. You know what was never an issue with Slack? Porn spam messages. But hey, kudos to those bots looking for lonely men on Teams. It's probably a really good place to find them.

Yes, I’m often lying when I say this, but now I really mean it… we’ve got a fun Inside ACCess today @ 4 on ACCN… ➡️ Andrea’s in Tally w/Duce Robinson ➡️ the great Bruce Feldman on Miami & NFL draft ➡️ Wade Woodaz on life playing for Ben Boulware ➡️ Banana Belichick ➕lots more!

Explosive Play Rate vs. Points/Drive on offense and defense for every Big Ten team... So strange not seeing Iowa as a complete outlier. Would be amazing to pair Wisconsin's O with Rutgers' D.

Explosive Play% vs. Points/Drive on offense & defense for every ACC team... FSU is a perfect example of averages being deceptive. Wake's D was quietly elite. If Duke's gonna win w/o Mensah, that D needs A LOT of work.

SEC points/drive and explosive play rates on offense and defense... Poor Arkansas. Elite offense, unbelievably awful defense. Also really shows how much of a defense-led league the SEC was last year.

Rum ham!

Good old Uncle Alan. Lost at sea but we always left a spot for him at the table around the holidays.

Last Heisman top-10 vote-getter for each Big 12 school... FWIW, only current P4s w/o 1 in the 2000s: Kansas, Wake, Duke, SMU, Ill, UMd, Minn, Kentucky.

Newsletter: One of my biggest frustrations w/CFB is the lack of public facing, meaningfully in-depth stats accessible to fans. Decades after stats revolutionized baseball, CFB remains a data desert. I talked to the great Parker Fleming about why. open.substack.com/pub/davidhal...

The last Heisman top-10 vote getter at each Big Ten school... Some surprisingly long streaks...

Sadly, just one episode was made despite great butler content, a lemon Pledge sponsorship and John Ritter’s cousin’s involvement.

ICYMI we caught up with James Franklin on what he’s learned from his disastrous 2025 at Penn State and how he’s hoping 2026 will be different…

Last player at each ACC school to Finish top 10 in Heisman voting…

*adds subscription to Good Housekeeping’s FOIA directory*

Big show today… Inside ACCess from Virginia Tech with James Franklin, Brent Pry and Kaleb Spencer + I talked to Wake coach Jake Dickert, we discuss the future of conf champ games & is it panic time for FSU’s QB situation? Plus Pudge the cat! ACCN at 4, 10 & 11 or in pod form: linktr.ee/InsideACCess

Last player to finish top-10 in Heisman voting at each SEC school…

Amazing that the B1G had just 1 football championship from 2002-22. Hadn’t won a men’s basketball title since 2000. Hadn’t won a women’s since 1999. Now it’s won 3 football titles in a row & has the football (Indiana), men’s (Michigan) and women’s hoops (UCLA) champs.

Most 1-possession wins, last 5 years: Houston, 20-7 Illinois, 17-12 Ohio, 17-9 TCU, 17-11 Bama, 17-8 BYU, 17-7 Mich, 16-3 TTU, 16-7 NCSU, 16-10 Fresno, 16-11 Minn, 16-11 Duke, 16-12 NIU, 16-20

Milwaukee is great but honestly the whole rust belt is now woefully underrated. Pittsburgh, Detroit, Cleveland… all solid.

It’s time to give Matt Campbell a call.

Yup.

Thirty-one years ago today, the New Orleans-based alternative rock band Better than Ezra released its hit single “Good,” marking the first-ever Good Friday, which has now grown into a major holiday celebrated throughout the world.

Newsletter: Some spring football takeaways on Clemson, Miami and Wake; Louisville with a running QB?; SMU is aiming for a natty + Toto, Raleigh, ACC win totals, worst airports and more… open.substack.com/pub/davidhal...

I dunno, man. I remember when this happened in Philly a few years ago due to, I think, Nick Foles being awesome, and they had the whole thing fixed in like 6 weeks.

Well dang. Next time, lunch. Or beers. Or lunch beers!

Great visit at Wake today. The Grounds project at the stadium is taking shape… gonna be very cool when it’s done in ‘27. Also bumped into Davaughn Patterson coming from class. Which class? CHINESE LITERATURE! Who says college football players don’t do academics anymore?!?

Fun fact I learned while doing my usual stat research for math-challenged @andrea-adelson.bsky.social: Rueben Bain played on 95.5% of Miami's defensive snaps in the playoff and 94% of Miami's season snaps when game was within 14. (Mesidor wasn't far behind.)

ICYMI: We talked with Louisville QB Lincoln Kienholz about how Jeff Brohm is incorporating his running ability into the Cards’ offense.

Last 1,000-yard receiver for each Big 12 school... Remember when this league just chucked it all over the field? Six teams haven't had once since before COVID.

No, I'm just an idiot.

No joke, we've got a great Inside ACCess today... (5pm/ACCN) Louisville QB Lincoln Kienholz joins us Kevin Jennings & Rhett Lashlee talk SMU's high aspirations Could Tait Reynolds push for QB1 at Clemson? Why does Bill Connelly's SP+ hate the ACC? linktr.ee/InsideACCess

The last 1,000-yard receiver for each B1G school... Ohio State's had nine of them since Iowa's last one.

Most FBS wins, active head coaches: Kirk Ferentz, 213 Dabo Swinney, 187 Bronco Mendenhall, 146 Rich Rodriguez, 140 Troy Calhoun, 139 Bret Bielema, 134 James Franklin, 128 Ken Niumatalolo, 119 Dave Doeren, 118 Kirby, Smart, 117 Lane Kiffin, 116 Dan Mullen, 113 Butch Jones, 110 Pat Fitzgerald, 110

Be careful out there this April Fool’s and remember this sage advice from our former president… youtu.be/KjmjqlOPd6A?si…

“Oh yes dad got us donuts!!” Suck it, dummies! Happy April Fools!

Last 1,000-yard receiver at each ACC school... Hard to believe 5 years have passed since Clemson had one. Tigers had at least one 1K WR in 8 of 10 seasons from 2011-2020.

The last 1,000-yard receiver at each SEC school... Crazy that, since 2003, Auburn, Florida & Georgia have combined for 33 10-win seasons, five national titles and... zero 1,000-yard receivers.

It is an amazing act of American corporate marketing genius that companies have taken something people hated (long term contracts on subscription services) and simply changed the name (price lock guarantees!) and are now selling them as a perk.

Newsletter: What do 2014 Florida State, 2025 Clemson and 2026 Miami have in common? Plus Mark Fletcher on feeling good, Mario Cristobal on Malachi Toney's drive, and thoughts on the backlash over legal gambling... davidhale.substack.com/p/the-art-of...

Most conversions on pass attempts on 3rd/4th and long in 2025: Micah Alejado, 27 Darian Mensah, 25 John Mateer, 24 Dante Moore, 24 Noah Kim, 22 JK Sagapolutele, 21 Conner Weigman, 21 Arch Manning, 21 Nick Minicucci, 21 Malik Washington, 21 Jayden Maiava, 21

Last 1,000-yard rusher at each Big 12 school... Dean Connors came up 23 yards shy of snapping an awfully long streak for Houston in 2025...