Mike Pencil dick got an invite and McTaco tits didn't? Didn't know there were levels to hell.

I'll never buy a twinning again. May as well be colored water. #SaidNoAmericanEver But in all seriousness. It is damn near flavorless. Especially compared to the international treats I've had lately.

Does anyone else get sleepy after a good writing sprint? It's been happening the last couple of days for me. Also, I've begun writing every day with or without "inspiration" in order to create a habit. #writers

I feel like I'm not as funny as I think. That's wildly unsettling. Cuz I'm funny as fuck!

As my cousin keeps me on the phone for hours at a time, I'm realizing why therapists be like... mmhm. I see. Right. I love her though. She be cracking me up for real. #family

I'm going to need an ultra rich person to go ahead and adopt me so I can be their little Black savior and also have money. I can be quite persuasive.

In 2026, I want to have Richard Hammond on my podcast! Operation, meet the Hamster

This is bullshit. My brother and I went out to eat on this fine Veteran's Day AND yesterday was the Corps Birthday. Yet somehow I STILL end up paying! Hate having younger siblings! *joking* Sending love & compassion to all the Vets out there.

What's your go-to snack when writing? Currently, I'm snacking on green grapes. #writers #authors

My mom thought I called her the flash cuz of her hot flashes. It's actually cuz whenever she gets frustrated, her crazy side flashes out, & you can't make sound for at least five to ten minutes, or it'll get worse. Like a shark that smells blood in the water I'll give her 15 minutes this time.

I stopped "debating" people when I realized I could never get them to see it from a humanitarian side. People deserve the right to live comfortably and deserve to be taken care of. Periodt

They're really pushing this Pete Davidson leading man rom-com thing, aren't they? Le sigh

The problem with women who have lots of tattoos is that they're harder to control. Also, harder to murder cuz there's so many distinctive recognizable parts that can be identified. Probably don't taste that good either. - Misogynists, Rapists, Murderers, Cannibals.

Today, I became "water down your fruit drinks" old. Good times #AgingGracefully

Where did the pepperoni disappear to in Tostinos pizza rolls? Did they think we wouldn't notice? Cuz we did! #foodstuffs

Spent the week editing because it's what I must do. However, it's not my favorite part of the process, if I'm honest. #bookNovel

Having friends who believe in you is something else. Pure magic!

I'm an optimist, but don't push me. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. K bye!

I hope I have given fidelity, and that everyone viscerally understands: You will have to come through me.

I've been hesitant to speak on the hate speech oficianado, but it's quite telling how many European Americans are out here attempting to humanize a person who'd be capitalizing on this moment to spew even more hateful rhetoric. The dangers of the white moderate are alive and well. #charliekirk

I have finished a draft of the new beginning of my novella, and I am so happy! I want to share more, but the way my ADHD works, I need to wait until I'm fully finished with the entire draft. Lol

Super hyped on where this novella is going! September is going well!

I wrote last night, like really wrote. It felt amazing! Just wanted to share that.

Writing goal for September: New edit of my novella to my beta readers. Begin chapter 1 of the accompanying novel Continue to outline the second novel of the series. #writergoals

I'm re-piercing my septum before January 1st, 2026. And maybe getting one more tattoo. But DEFINITELY getting my septum done.

#hardtruth: I give up a lot when I don't see results. The problem with that is that I expect results to happen instantly. I want to go "viral" enough to feel validated. When it doesn't happen on MY timeline, I quietly quit. I am releasing that tendency in favor of consistency and patience.

Black Joy is sacred because so many don't want us to have it. (not)Sorry, but we don't always need to look like what we've been through. We'll always love ourselves through the worst. Always.

I'm sad today. I cried for the first time since my aunt's passing. I'm overall okay. Her death wasn't unexpected, but still. I'm sad. I'll miss her physical presence, but she'll always be with me. #grief

My dog is falling asleep on me, and I couldn't be happier. #dogmom

Rewatched Dolores Claiborne. What a film! Women's empowerment, anyone?

I just pulled out two chin hairs with my fingertips. TWO! I am a god!

It's difficult to be an intelligent, empathetic human being right now. As an American, I'm ready to pull my hair out every day because just when I think we've reached peak evil/stupidity/recklessness, McTaco Tits says, "Hold my beer." #tired

Yo, real talk, if America were to implement a purge night, would you participate? I'm not gonna hold you. I would spend the year making a compound to spend the night in completely off the grid. And literally tell no one about it. What would you do on a purge night?

I don't follow the latest batch of "Hollyweird," however, it is interesting to see how many are saying the quiet part out loud these days. That money must be gloriously good!

Anyone else lose their phone 17 times a day?

Does anyone feel like they're being stabbed in the side when there's a tag there from your shirt? I rip them out with such aggression! Am I alone?

Because everyone should see this. EVERYONE!

I am in a world of pain #chronicillness. But the changes I feel deep down are still pointing me in the direction of living the life I'm meant for.

I'm a writer having trouble writing. But when I do write, it's fucking good!

I just saw a bluesky page for a terrible company selling term shit on my timeline, and I'm so confused. I blocked them immediately. Cuz eww. I need a palette refresher!

Posting my dog on a Caturday cuz she's basically a cat dog. #petsky #sassydawg

I'm sad. For no reason. I'm just... sad. #ambientsadness

GOOD NEWS! There's a new #FlashFictionFriday out dedicated to all the daddies out there. Enjoy! amberpatton007.substack.com/p/fathers-da...

Kevin Hart out here doing commercials for Qatar airlines? We're so cooked. #endofdays #soldtothehighestbidder

I'm watching old episodes of QI, and I can't help but think that Alan Davies looks like if James May had a positive disposition. #BritBox #GrandTour #Qi

Am I straight, or am I attracted to"masculinity"? Hmmm.

Did you know I post #FlashFictionFriday every Friday? Today is no accepting, and you should check it out! open.substack.com/pub/amberpat...

Hey! I know I've been quiet, but hey... I've been making moves on #substack baby!!! www.substack.com/@amberpatton...

Trying to avoid AI is crazy! Being intentional, I have started working to not watch videos of AI voice crap or searches or anything. I don't think AI is inherently bad, but this rollout is wildly irresponsible and harmful. Why can't we just take our time and do it right, America? #Greed