So Neil Geiman sucks. We all agree that man's a plague and deserves everything bad he's done come back to him x3. He's also ruined what could've been one of the best season and series finales in the past decade. I hope that his asshole burns for all eternity on top of everything else

Does anyone use Scrivener? If so, what do you think?

I am not a hot mess. I am a sexy organization project.

Does or has anyone watched Vox Machina? This show is hands down one of the best adult animations out there! I love this show!

Migraine starting... hope that doesn't mean the rest of my day is fucked. *le sigh*

Jason Stackhouse is very much like the closeted you-know-whos who protest violently, and then descent into some real seedy type ish. And yet, somehow, he believes he's right. SMH. He only gets away with stuff for a while cuz he's very handsome. In a yokel sort of way. #TrueBlood

Started a re-watch of True Blood. And, I recognize that they live in a small town in Louisiana, but I think Tara had EVERY right to ask Mr. Compton if he owned slaves. The fact that everyone else in that house wasn't also curious is wild to me. But I suppose I'm just reading into it...🤨 #TrueBlood

Advocating for yourself when your medical issues aren't binary is fucking EXHAUSTING!!!!

I've inadvertently spoiled my dog even more by giving her a cooling pillow to herself. Mind you, I have a total of 6 including a body pillow. Plus a thigh pillow, and a neck pillow. But still, that was my pillow!

I'm 95% done with my novel. The remaining 5% is just me writing it down. 😐

Welp, gonna get back to writing. Because it's what I do. It's who I am!

I'd really like migraines to stop beating my ass now 😕

My dog gets real saditty after a fresh cut. Literally barked for attention like I didn't have to get her, bring her home, and give her love, kisses, AND a greenie. #BoujieDogBaby

Wait, I saw a snake take a shit yesterday whilst doomscrolling on insta, and I am now watching the movie Anaconda thinking, there wouldn't be any powdered bones, they'd be big ol' shit logs! #Hottake

The hardest part of being the age that I am is not having the mobility I thought I'd have due to unforseen medical things... and also trauma.

I'm not normally a makeup girlie, but I bought a few things and wanted to try them out. Namely the tint stick. Unfortunately, it's s shade too dark, but I didn't want the face to go you waste. So, you're welcome.

People who get joy from other's misery truly need to examine why that is. It's not normal.

My ruptured cyst hurt more physically than when my appendix went to crap. That is all.

I liked it better when we didn't know the reason behind John Travolta's new lewk.

Millenials: Remember when Christian Rock was a gateway drug to becoming a soldier for a fufndamentalist God? The people who stuck with it are part of the reason Roe v. Wade was overturned. I hate being curious sometimes. Those rabbit holes go DEEP!

One thing I appreciate about turning 39. When I stand up straight and look down, my nipples are still horizontal without a bra. Wonderfully small wins

Has anyone used the visible band for chronic illness? I'm using it, and I just feel like I'm being scolded for moving all the time.

I think people give Monday too much credit. Have some decorum and hate all the work days equally.

Hello fellow readers, I have an out of context snippet for you from my upcoming novella. Enjoy! substack.com/@amberpatton...

Writing is hard because you have to desipher the thoughts in your mind onto paper (or computer), and they have to make sense! I have to make my brain make sense to other people!?!?! I see why people don't become writers. Anyway, back to translating. #AuthorThoughts

If this latest retelling of Wuthering Heights was ANY other story, it'd be everything it wanted. Too bad the director didn't see herself in a different film 😐

I hate those Rocket money commercials. Who tf is forgetting they have two Spotify accounts. WHO HAS TWO SPOTIFY ACCOUNTS AND DON'T KNOW!?!?!?

Please let me know if I'm crazy or not, but are internet articles getting harder to read ? They're grammatically terrible, they're not spell checked, and they are fluff for 2/3rds of the damn article! And that's IF they're not blocked by a pay paywall. Someone let me know.

I'm having issues working on this sex scene. A scene that I've written many times. Currently just updating and finessing. I'm chalking it up to the fact that it's been too long in real life, and my body is protesting. 😑

I asked my friend to body double with me. He went and took a nap.

We live in a colonized experiment that was only created to bring profit to poor Europeans until it started believing it's own hype, and now it's too fucking arrogant to admit the experiment was a failure. How does one keep going like this is normal? Asking for a friend. It's me. I'm the friend.

Another fun fact is that no matter how far you travel for the music, the basics will always bring you home. And allow you to win a rigged contest. (Crossroads 1986)

Can we also talk about the fact that a movie (Crossroads 1986) that's all about the blues ends with a rock n' roll finale? That was not an accident.

'Member when Ralph Macchio broke an old man out of an old folks home for criminals cuz he thought he'd learn the blues faster? Then he spent the rest of the movie angry cuz he was forced to experience life like a poor Black man in the South for a few days? Now that's a roadtrip movie!

Just learned how to tell when the Union Jack flag is upside down. I was curious after reading an article about it, so I looked it up. Curiosity satiated without coming to the internet to ask people to do the work for me. It works for much more embarrassing questions too. 🤨🤨🤨 #GetTheHint

Writing new jokes for my next attempt at stand up. These are much more... me, which is worrying. Cuz they all deal with death, sex and chronic pain. I may need to get outside more. #Naw #MillenialHumor

I have recently learned that when my dog is ready to go to bed, she doesn't like any lights on, and she gets an attitude when I begin to stim before bed. Which is kind of a dick move considering she has her own bed and is always free to go sleep there. #DogMom

I'm fighting demons trying not to go back and edit whilst writing! LITERAL DEMONS!

I wish I was a healthy writer. That would be cool.

Bought my dog a toothbrush today. Not because her breath stank. I just don't want it to start. #DogMom

Today is a high pain day, and I hate it. Hope you're all doing much better than me right now. On the plus side, I am writing! #chronicpain #silverlinings

Is it weird that I thought Chris Kattan was a cutie?

The best thing about getting older is realizing I was always beautiful. #TaurusGang

I woke up today loving myself! I hope you did as well. Unless your love of self comes from the oppression of others. If it does, I hope your undercarriage itches until it bleeds. #TaurusSeason!

The first thing I do when I get a new t shirt is rip out all inside tags. The second thing I do is wash it. #TagsAreItchy!

My latest #FlashFictionFriday bit.ly/FF_Undone

Very excited to share that I’m about to make my comedy debut. It’s going to be on zoom, so if you wanna support some vets and others, check us out!!! Link below with details and ticket information. bit.ly/ComedyBootca...

I wanted to do many things this weekend, but I was neglecting myself. So, I got my dog bathed and haircut, and started my re-tie on my locs, cuz when I say they were looking ROUGH! Didn't finish tonight, so I'll be doing more tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Who's ready for another #FlashFictionFriday? I know I am! This one shows you why your imagination can often be better than reality. Available at 4pm CT as always.

Newest #FlashFictionFriday posted yesterday! Subscribe to my substack so you get it directly to your inbox! open.substack.com/pub/amberpat...