gotta love ppl who only msg u when they want something or to show off what theyve been doing + not ask about you lmao classic online weirdo flavor

Started joining and hosting group calls again and its almost comedic how fast my freeking Mental has improved

fuck my piss ass ideot life i subscribed to a new internet provider and ordered a new gateway, only to discover it requires coax and all the cables leading out of the house have been snipped by previous providers Stuck with my ancient ass terrible internet for now i guess

Sleep auuh then ill do more server stuff

ok im legit setting it up any mutuals interested can hmu here or disc

Considering the idea of setting up another loose rules work server for budz its been ages since ive had one running i miss the energy

Multiple friends telling me over the past month or two that they thought i went on a seemingly indefinite hiatus because i stopped posting to twt close to a year ago Bro my twt name literally has my bsky handle in it.

I gotta figure out how to go about getting checked for bipolar disorder without spending a million dollars out of pocket. I’m not going to commit to the idea that i absolutely have it, but the fact that my wellbutrin isnt touching my depression and i have such intense happy/sad swings…

hey youtu.be/m0ng-IumMHg?...

Fuck man keth writing a heartfelt thread about how i helped encourage him to draw is gettin me misty at work maybe my life isnt complete ass lmfao

thank you basedDog keep it real in the free world or whatever lord give this man strength he needs it, god's strongest soldier

Sorry to the people who hmu to check on me and got no response — i promise its not you, im just like that. Ill fire stuff off here to get it out of my head and then do everything in my power to pretend it was never there to begin with. I appreciate the thought nonetheless

man this is fucking embarrassing i hate coming here to post about how much pain im in, i hate the idea of being a fucking vibekill and dumping it on a friend, and i hate that im left to just sit here absolutely paralyzed, doing nothing because every part of my brain is screaming. im so tired

man i really need to just shut the fuck uppp sometimes god

its also really weird bc, despite it all, im still generally really happy. like 80% of the time im operating on a scale that fluctuates between a 7 and 10. it only drops below a 7 late at night when im just here at my desk working in silence lmfao. im starting to legitimately wonder if im bipolar

i should probably state for the record (bc i know my posts can get pretty fucking grey on here) that i dont have any plans of doing anything drastic, in any sense of the word, so dont worry about all that. this is effectively me burping my way thru a friday night tie-loosening, 4-beer-deep bar spiel

ik the catalyst here is a horrible multi-year slow-cooking stew of increasingly poor health, an increasingly poor diet, PROFOUNDLY poor sleep + a god-awful sleep pattern that sees me wide awake when nobody else is online, an abysmal, bone-obliterating 100hr/wk 2 job split, etc feels inescapable tho

i kinda hate how badly the last year or so has decimated my confidence in my own friendships man like im in a perpetual state of expecting any of them to end at any point, so im like constantly and usually wrongfully worried a couple people are just not fucking with me for some inexplicable reason

Man i wish they made audio posts for this site so i could simply Tell you some of my work stories as opposed to typing them out its not the SAME

honestly, after i heard abt tht girl getting fired within the week, it immediately reminded me of all the ppl i would see on twt/fa constantly opening emergency comms with a money goal tht kept increasing, who'd get hired and fired 2-4 times a month, claiming wrongful term. each time lol

also oh man i forgot to even post about this lmfao someone my coworkers referred to as "furry girl" got hired as a day seasonal temp and got herself fired in a single week because she utterly refused to clean a bathroom stall - something everyone does. "thats a job for ugly people, sorry." LMFAO

Im not immune to the humor in watching a completely unreasonable, manipulative freak start hydroplaning when they realize their epic tactics arent foolproof, but theres something about a full extinction burst thats nauseating to watch. Like some doomed animal chewing its limbs off to escape a trap

still cant get over how sick this persons footage from hospital fest osaka was

time to pull the ole XENIA1 collages back out

weather radar furry followed me on FA and commissions art of their oc looking at real ass radar imagery holy fuck PULL UP MAN PULL UP

normally id feel flattered that someone did a study of something ive drawn, but to have someone who just followed me post a stealth study of something i drew 9 years ago on tumblr is just weird enough that im a little taken aback lol

one friend asked if i did anything nice for my bday and i told them i pulled 13ish hrs, came home, ate some sticky rice and a protein bar for dinner, and worked on comms They were so mad they stormed off and came back later to tell me i should have done something nice Like ok with what money lol

the people whove freaked the fuck out on me for not wishing them a happy birthday in the past not pulling up for literally any of mine who would have seen that comin LMFAO

Cant remember what i thumb-drew this for again but any time i pass it scrolling thru my camera roll i laugh

just gotta say, if you ever say something to me and i hit you with a "man" you fucked up lmfao

e #tombetching

man i feel fucking horrible today + my right eyelid literally wont stop twitching. hard to focus on anything

man im like so self conscious about coming off as annoying now for some reason like if i send One Message im afraid im already walking up to the edge. Didnt used to be like this

i wish cars and Black Berry Phone were real

At this rate the week leading up to my 30th bday will see me getting like lyme disease or something lmfao

Dude lmfao life is like finding new comedic ways to make my week fucking horrible its insane - 8hr shift on 2hrs of sleep - screamed at by client - ripped my shirt on a door handle - pokemon finally at meijer after a month, 10 packs of straight duds - $$$ poster i ordered came in rolled and bent

found my favorite qq tweet again

Im going to fucking Shit, i was just told 4 out of the 6 ppl in my dept ALL took vacations or days off next week So they want me to work 8-8 friday. Which is my birthday. Lmfao.

The weirdest thing about my current situation is that, yeah im pretty depressed and reclusive, and drawing feels pretty bad right now, but i have like an extremely odd and inordinate amount of ‘i wanna draw dat’ energy that literally has not gone away for like 3 weeks. Like the desire is RLY strong

me posting this morning about being worried some of my friends arent fucking with me anymore bc i never hear from them Meanwhile there are 1 or 2 ppl who Cant figure out what they did that KEEP tryna get my attention and i cannot muster up the energy to tell them to Please go away hfnfkmmnfnjfn

a couple of friendships fizzling out into nothing the past 2yrs definitely contributed, but honestly i think the move from twt to bsky singlehandedly erasing 1/3 of all my relationships with people was the biggest reason ive like barely talked to anyone online this whole year. Like im just tired

man spotify is so dogshit im getting an eye twitch just trying to figure out why the fuck it keeps buffering in between tracks now for no reason, completely ruining seamless track transitions, and now my login credentials are "incorrect" despite BEING correct. what the fuck are we doing

Incomprehensible meijer crosswalk moment tonight. Guy pulling up to the light while smoking the most fetid mid on earth, staring straight ahead unblinkingly and with an intensity that was completely offset by the Maroon 5 Payphone playing at like 200% volume with ALL his windows down

Once again sleeping has proven to be cracked tech

in my falloff arc rn