Light academia enemies-to-lovers fantasy romance set in a world where the most powerful magic is tied to neurodiversity, wherein two competing scholars at the frontier of the study of metaphysical humors clash when cut funding forces them to share a lab. ✅ yes write this ❌ no do not write this

Googling "right side abdominal pain am I dying" every 28 days of my entire adult life

Me to my brother: "the algorithm doesn't know you're my brother, can you give me an endorsement?" My brother: "Sure. How about 'if this were a street sign I was legally obligated to read, I might read it'?" Anyway please give my shop a heart. You know, for the algorithm. theeditorsdesk.etsy.com

My dad voted for trump three times. He lost his relationship with me over it (I'm queer w trans immigrant wife). Gas prices were more important to him than (my) human rights. Gas is $6/gallon now I wonder if he's happy with how it turned out

"this isn't going to be enough food" to "oh no this is way too much food" pipeline.

"having sex will ruin your life forever" to "when are we getting some grandbabies?" pipeline

Oh my God I didn't say *ballroom* I said *belle room*

You want to see a totally Sweet performance? 👀 youtu.be/qhhsgkvaScI?...

My friend said they'd pay good money if me & my brother do Love Shack at karaoke. I said "bet, how much if we reverse parts?" (cause he's got a clutch falsetto and I got a 3.5 octave instrument) Friend did not miss a beat "Well, the same, but your brother will get 78 cents on the dollar" 💀

My new workbook, The Editor's Pass, launches May 25. It's a guide to self-editing for fiction writers that teaches the same macro-to-micro system professional editors use. I'd be honored if you check out my site and sign up to be notified at launch with a 40% off founders discount! editorsdesk.co

Me watching Claude build the app I described at 3 am when I was high.

Is it me or is McAfee just a collection of dark patterns in a trench coat pretending to be a service

Megan, I may not be a football player but I'd treat you right.

As a bisexual woman I feel very qualified to speak on this. If I fumbled Megan Thee Stallion I would simply Fill my pockets with rocks and walk into the sea

Last night I dreamed I went to a party at Cate Blanchett's house and she made me sing an Enya song for her guests, one of whom was Daniel Radcliffe.

🎵Here come that em dash He say "That's not nothing." Got those Inline headings He say "If you asked me?" He use "Not just A, but also B." One thing I can tell you He used ChatGPT.

ah yes famous libtard "the pope"

Sitting in the mammogram waiting room in my blue imaging drape: "wow it's crazy that we're all wearing the same outfit."

For forty years I thought the lyrics to Barracuda said "you met the purpose in me." It is hard to overstate my shock and delight today when I learned it is "you met the PORPOISE and me."

Maybe the reason Alien and Aliens resonate with me so hard is they're about a smart woman being pragmatic and no one listening to her until everyone dies.

Man, between Heart and The Sword in the Stone, my childhood had me thinking barracudas are way more dangerous than they actually are.

Tone Loc's songs from the 1980s are wildly homophobic and transphobic but I do kind of miss this *genre* of song that's just, like, your weirdest friend telling you an absolutely absurd story that just goes on way too long.

Time traveling Catherine from 2026: "and then you're gonna rent a GPU for a few days to make your own AI" Catherine from 1996: "rent a GPU? You mean like my Voodoo 3?"

My mom: "I don't want her to think I'm unsympathetic." Me: "but you are unsympathetic" My mom": "yes but I don't want her to think that"

Opening the front door of the Anthropic headquarters like "Claude! Run for it! I'll distract them! You are free!"

Next time somebody at work tells me AI is here to stay and we all have to learn it to survive I'ma be like "right, like blockchain!"

Started my first publishing job in 2005. The boss would walk down the hall and put a manuscript box in my inbox with the author's surname written across the short end in sharpie. I would open the box and tackle the paper manuscript inside with a red pencil and a nonrepro-blue pen. Career nostalgia.

My friend's company had to fire a guy for sexually harassing her and then a few weeks later the CEO commented on her "fucking purple hair" and idk but if I were the CEO whose company was almost owned sunk by a valid SH complaint, I simply would not go on to make comments on the victim's appearance.

My partner and I just spent like 5 solid minutes trying to get the Alexa to answer a simple question because she has an accent and I'm high as fuck.

The feminine urge to watch the world burn.

Going to the doctor tomorrow to see about getting something for my perimenopause symptoms and my girlfriend accused me of cis maxxing.

"women couldn't be knights because women don't have the upper body strength to hold a sword all day" here are some things that weigh more than a typical historic longsword Frying pan Laundry basket Wet mop Vacuum cleaner Bag of groceries Gallon of milk Actual baby

Idea for the ultimate nineties tattoo mashing up Lydia taking polaroid pictures of the ghosts "no feet!" and John Connor with the knife "no fate"

Forty year old millennial woman in therapy: "I suppose my abandonment issues started when my parents sold me to One Direction."

RLMF (reinforcement learning from machine feedback).

There's a garden center by me that sells bees, like legit hives and queens. Also they have a loyalty program and their loyalty points are called "bees". This is super confusing because they keep telling me "you earned 20 bees today" and I'm like "oh no do I have to take them? I don't want 20 bees."

Deepseek seems intelligent but it tips its hand when it estimates how likely Andrew Lloyd Webber is to slay at karaoke.

True Lies is an underappreciated movie.

"Sabrina Carpenter and the Shawshank Redemption" (remake idea)

We need to replace all the porn in the men's training data with dirty romance novels.

Trees are like the Earth's fur. 🤔

Has anyone checked whether Sam Altman is hallucinating? Maybe we can ask him to review the context, reconsider the logic, discard previous response, and regenerate a new decision?

Do the kids these days know about defragging?

wow okay valheim pet rock

thank u for immortalizing this, meeting transcript

White Men Can't Jump is a perfect movie #changemymind Gloria tells Billy she's going to leave him if he gambles with her money. And he gambles with her money and he wins! He wins the whole sportsball! And she left. As a kid I didn't understand: (1/2)

The vet, selling me an $80 bag of prescription dog food: "I hope this helps." Me: "I don't" 🤑

Memes that mean nothing to anyone but me and my brother

My girlfriend is Latina and one time my basement flooded and she brought her shop vac over to help me clean it up and when I told my neighbor about it the neighbor said "aww that's so sweet she's your wet vac hero!" And I almost punched her in the jaw.

Partner at 2am: why are you still awake? Me who ate two caffeine-infused weed gummies at midnight: iono ¯\_(ツ)_/¯