Conan O’Brien is innocent.

The Aristocrats!

Turns out tanking the economy, using secret police to round up families, sending the troops into American cities, and firing tens of thousands of public employees is not super popular, huh.

JCO truly has the heart of a Poster

And he failed, further emphasizing how unfit he is for this moment. LBJ would not have stood for this.

At least by caving the democrats confirmed what I’ve always said about them, making me right, which is at least a small consolation.

What a joke.

Goodfellas, but Hutts.

These people need to be held accountable when this is over. We can’t wash our hands of it or it will always come back.

Wow do I wish anyone but Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries were running the Democratic Party. The Republicans are taking away food and travel at Thanksgiving, the ads write themselves.

Justice for Sandwich Man is Justice for all of us.

Every time I see Claudia Sheinbaum’s name in the news I think “Is that my aunt? Do I know her?” And never “Oh right, the president of Mexico.”

If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit

Turns out Zohran has not made busses here in suburban Portland free, just fyi to everyone else.

Tell you what, Trump sending people’s kids to die in Venezuela to distract them from not being able to afford food is not going to be the winning strategy they think it will be.

Woke is back, baby

At this point, anyone—a university, a law firm, a corporation, a Democrat—bending the knee to Trump is doing it because they want to, not because of any political reality.

Fingers crossed for school bonds across Oregon!

That is genuinely nuts

i can’t believe a good thing happened we should do this more often

My professional political opinion is that people who want to stay in power should not take glee in their constituents losing jobs and children going hungry.

Congratulations to the New York Mets.

Very glad the democrats have managed to elect a *checks notes* former CIA officer as governor of Virginia.

I should not be forced to care so much about who is going to be elected mayor in America’s fourth best city.

I just hate these people so much.

I get sad when I see some people have died before the end of the current political nightmare, sad that they didn’t get to see we made it out. And then some people I don’t.

One of my biggest sources of disillusionment is that this hasn’t happened yet.

This is just the absolute worst possible timeline.

As a parent of young children it is my firm belief that Halloween should always be on a Friday.

you sort of how to respect the undying commitment of every person at every tech company to wake up everyday and ask themselves, ”how can i make this product worse?“

You know what, fine.

Man the World Cup is going to be bonkers

It’s going to be exhausting explaining to my kids before I start the next campaign cycle that their uncle is actually dad’s best friend from childhood

So I cut my hand open carving pumpkins last night and had to go to the ER to get stitches and the nurse said I was her fourth pumpkin carving injury of the day and all four were men and honestly that tracks.

I’ve never rooted this hard for something Canadian in my life.

The world is a nightmare but at least the Dodgers lost, so maybe we are course correcting.

Tell you what when I was younger I did not think this was where we were headed.

For my son’s last soccer practice we played kids vs parents and while eight of us parents managed to beat 15 fifth graders 2-1, this morning I feel like someone beat me with a baseball bat while I was sleeping. Don’t get old, kids.

Phil Knight to the white courtesy telephone. Phil Knight to the white courtesy telephone.

I am a bit more upset about the destruction of the east wing of the White House than I would have thought I would be.

Dem leadership: we have to get away from us vs them, we are all Americans, we can all find common ground Trump: gonna tear down half the White House and build a solid gold ballroom, check it out

I think the thieves would disagree

I know there’s a lot going on but Dan Brown’s latest book is called The Secret of Secrets and man you are not even trying anymore.

I still weirdly and without evidence believe that when Trump dies the spell is going to be broken on a lot of this.

I’m not up for re-election for another year and a half but I swear to all of you that I have no tattoos, I will not be getting a tattoo, and I will not be posting shirtless pictures of myself on the internet.

Tell you what, I didn’t see this one coming.

I think Jamelle is genuinely one of the great minds and voices of my generation but man, as a Jew and just as a person, Nazi stuff is a no go.

Metaphors are dead. Irony is dead. It’s all dead.

I’m willing to overlook a lot of youthful indiscretions, especially these days, but a “Nazi tattoo” is, to use a relevant metaphor, a “bridge too far.”

Say what you will about the man, he is history’s most unabashed grifter.