Oh no are we living in a prequel to Brave New World

I’m just saying, I’d buy the tshirt.

1. Give me money 2. Give me oil 3. Give me land 4. Stop being mean to me on social media /endlist

Calling anything this moron posts on social media a "plan" is like calling a family size bag of cool ranch doritos a "meal"

Don’t Be A Menace To The Mandalorian While Drinking With Grogu In The Hood.

Top 10 social media account and the material is somehow getting better and better. This is the content we need.

Holy projection, Batman!

My god I’d forgotten how hard Emerald Rush slaps.

If these lists have taught me anything it’s that y’all are way older than I expected.

Myriad Elaines, Georges and Kramers but at least BlueSky has one Jerry.

$40m to find Don Jr a drug dealer? Damn, maybe the affordability crisis is real after all.

The US since 2016 is like when football players are waltzing into the end zone untouched but they start celebrating too early and drop the ball at the half yard line for a touchback only instead of like 0.3 seconds the fumble takes 10 long years.

Kendrick has that look like he just found pickles in his burger after having asked the server if there would be pickles, being told there wouldn’t be, and then saying, “Okay, but if there would be pickles I don’t want em. No pickles, please,” and the server saying, “You got it bro no pickles.”

One day you’re a random DC coke dealer constantly dodging the law, the next you’re at the White House Correspondents Dinner cucking the FBI director. What a world.

If I know one thing about the classification level of “Militarily Top Secret” it’s that it is reserved only for topics that should be aggressively flaunted on social media.

I wish I loved anything as much as Donald Trump loves attention.

Say what you will about this man but he clearly takes his ballrooms very, very seriously.

$500m taxpayer money on the cheapest airplanes possible to deport immigrants to countries they’ve never heard of. If only the Dems weren’t in hiding and could do something with this.

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

Do you ever ponder the eventual final straw that will end all this? And what the fallout of that will look like? And how long it will take to return to any semblance of normal? Yeah me neither haha jk

If the desire for grandeur through construction lies on a spectrum, and I’m certain it does, this man and the president surely represent the poles.

The idea that this guy has the power to “allow” anyone to do anything is farcical unless that thing happens to be gaining entry to a dumpy strip club that sells $2 chicken nuggets.

Kevin Hassett always has a look like he just farted on your salad and is giddy at the prospect of your taking offense but also kind of annoyed that you haven’t yet smelled it.

If one thing is clear today it’s that Mike Trout and BlueSky are running on different servers.

VANCE: ONE OF TWO SIDES WANTED TO MAKE A DEAL AND WHILE I’M NOT SAYING WE DIDN’T I’M ALSO DEFINITELY SAYING THEY DID.

There is no lie too idiotic for this man. Whenever you think he couldn’t possibly say something dumber than the last thing he said he inevitably finds a way to do it.

I’m just saying that putting, “The amount of Humanity spoken of is incomprehensible,” and, “All of their Navy, and most of their ‘mine droppers,’ have been completely blown up,” in the same paragraph of a multi paragraph social post seems like a step too far. We should expect more from our leaders.

Bad news, hon. I told the kids one week grounding no TikTok and they told me, eerily in tandem and without looking up from their phones, to shut the door and go fuck myself.

I'm sorry, what? pitchfork.com/thepitch/how...

When the boys are fired up for a COD session but your NAT settings are closed.

This Artemis photo looks like a little earth peeking out of the bunker it went into in 2016 and already sensing that something is wrong.

Of all the things he’s done I wonder if his steadfast commitment to the Marjorie Taylor Brown bit is the most admirable?

This guy cares about two things: power and money. Prediction markets allow him to wield his power by making threats he has no intention of following through on, and steal money from the people who believe him enough to wager on it. This will keep happening as long as there is money to be made.

And doing so to win money on Polymarket is whatever is 100x more pale than the pale.

Do kids today know that “hanging up” the phone was once a literal thing you had to do?

Post something random or you will have an awful April.

I was convinced nothing could top the bizarre absurdity of Strip Law season one but boy has this man done it.

CB going 2/8 is like a career game for him.

It feels like the western world would be a better place if everyone watched The Hurt Locker and tried to empathize with literally any character that wasn’t Ralph Fiennes.

Feel like if you've ever been involved in sports you have a version of Draymond: The guy who is way too intense and often annoyingly so but every so often you are reminded that he is the glue of the team and he is legit going to war for his teammates every night. youtu.be/QiyE4LiKihQ?...

On a positive note just think of all the jobs that will be created when this fucking guy finally croaks and the world can begin erasing him from the public record.

I suppose the question is qui bono? Hovering next to his deathbed racist rapist vessel for self tanner and concealer trying to hold on to power as long as his body holds out and all his associates or literally anybody else?

It continues to be insane that the only fundamental difference between an announcement regarding war operations and an announcement about how much he hates Kimmel is the use of caps lock.

These half-hearted chatGPT endorsements he does really make it seem like he’s finally realized his lifelong dream of being a club promoter but in retrospect finds that it doesn’t actually quell the mom and dad’s voices in his head as much as he thought it would and has lost interest.

It does seem somewhat on the nose in this generation of having it all that the purest form of entertainment has become an 80 year old rapist with zero morals or real philosophical stance on anything other than his own wealth and power. If only DFW were still around he’d have a field day.

Saw a guy going gentle into that good night and it reminded of that poem In Flanders Fields

Chuck Schumer only now getting pushback from Dem lawmakers feels like such a perfect explanation of why the govt is broken and cannot in any sense respond to anything in a timely fashion.

Bernie has this uncanny way of always looking like he's in a Track Star video without actually being in a Track Star video.

Excuse me, Pam. Quick question. How’s that whole the Dow is at 50,000 dollars thing working out for you now?

I wish I hadn’t read anything about the Peaky Blinders movie but I’m also glad I did so don’t have to watch it.