This place is a tomb! I’m going to the nut shop where it’s fun! Just kidding, I’m going to the iron infusion shop, where they put iron in my blood. Fun in its own way! (Truly, there’s a Bulk Barn near the clinic, so I’m gonna get some bulk candy!)

We've removed the paywall from this guide so everyone can access it. 👇 Stay safe.

It is really hard for local papers financially. But imho when everybody is trying to tune into your coverage a leaky paywall or tip jar prompt (with Apple pay) could be a way to net more revenue/subscribers/overall loyalty. That said, the key info is in the dek. www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...

Mayor Jacob Frey: “To ICE, get the fuck out of Minneapolis.”

One of my coping methods during covid was to go down to the beach at night and hurl rocks into Lake Ontario as hard as I could. It felt great.

I hate when my phone tells me things like “there’s been a noticeable change in the number of calories you’re burning.” I fucking know, you stupid slippery germ brick! I’m fucking getting ready for hibernation! I’m a goddamn bear, OK!?

I ALSO had to go to the ER because I had a habit of twisting tissues before stuffing them in my nose. I did that once, the sniffled so strongly that I kind of … sucked it up? I remember telling my mom I thought it might be all the way down to my toes. Docs were probably like “The nose kid is back!”

Tonight is like that moment in You’ve Got Mail when Birdie is like “The numbers aren’t good, dear!” and Kathleen is like “Mmmkay. I’m putting up more twinkle lights.” Sorry epiphany, but these bad boys are staying up until February probably!

I have 2: In Grade 6, I tripped over my coach’s feet running out to the basketball court from the bench and twisted my ankle. It’s been janky ever since. At age 5, I stuck a Trivial Pursuit pie piece up my nose. Had to go to the hospital and they used a very long set of tweezers to get it out.

I mostly avoided social media all weekend because I spent ALL of the holidays working and I’d had more than enough at that point. As it happens, that was EXACTLY the moment the news hose sprung 18 leaks and flooded everything. So now I feel like I’m going down to the basement to survey the damage.

Just thinking about the word dotard and how appropriate it was.

HEAVY. SIGH.

“You wouldn’t get it.”

What, I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying! *I* just have something in my eye. And it’s a tiny piece of paper that says Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams are very good actors and should probably get a lot of awards for Heated Rivalry.

Rama Duwaji, step on me with loaner Miista boots!

This year, I gave my best friend’s soon-to-be 10-year-old his very own editions of Calvin and Hobbes, Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons and Scientific Progress Goes Boink, which is the book that crystallized my sense of humour. I can still recall reading it for the first time.

I have really not had much of an appetite lately, but I made a feast tonight and ate too much and now I must zone out.

Featuring a trans woman so prominently at his inauguration like this was an absolutely baller move by Zohran

Your Cherokee words for today. The top word is English followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled in English then how to pronounce it phonetically.

Happy New Year folks! This could be the year. For what? I don’t know, but could be!

It pains me to admit that these two are hair colour goals.

There’s this muppet on TikTok who transcribes and then scats incredibly difficult jazz solos so well and I could not possibly love a thing more

Meet George, my lemon pig! With a Loonie for luck!

I look forward to this competition every year, but rarely do I get to say one of the finalists was written by a colleague, so vote for Police are scrambling! I also wanted to talk about headlines in general, because the finalists break some rules that headline writers like myself often follow. 🧵

Guys. There is still time to vote in the headline of the year competition and tell the world what we all know: this is the perfect punny headline for a story about egg theft. Thieves take egg. Police are scrambling.

Guys. There is still time to vote in the headline of the year competition and tell the world what we all know: this is the perfect punny headline for a story about egg theft. Thieves take egg. Police are scrambling.

I woke up to go to the bathroom and noticed there was a spider on my ceiling directly over my pillow. Now I can’t get back to sleep because of that one “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” story. You know the one.

Trying to decide which of my little shows to watch while colouring. I think I’m too invested in Heated Rivalry to look down for most of it. What if I miss a naughty Rozanov text!? Andor, I might miss a subtle eyebrow raise signifying political machinations but, oh well.

Semifinals in the headline of the year competition! My personal (and biased) fave, “police are scrambling” is poised to go down this round, but your vote could make a difference!

P.S. Everything in my shop is 20% off until Jan 2 with code PG5LYX

Dammit. The world doesn’t want me to watch the rest of Andor I guess. Wifi out.

Ugh, this storm is brutal.

Tudor Monastery Farm is on Tubi! Merry Christmas to me!

Round of 16 voting starts tomorrow, mid-day some time.

Christ I wish I could block push alerts from Uber begging me to sign up for Uber One. I use your services as much as I will ever use them. Is that not enough?

This is just, liked the ultimate bodega cat.

They’re all good dogs, Bront.

Well, it’s snowing HARD and I have decided that this calls for a breakfast of shortbread cookies and coffee.

Carol Kane should have won an Oscar for Scrooged.

Loll, just saw a face cream commercial for men and the before and afters look… exactly the same!?

I love this world! This world in which James Cameron can make all the Avatars he wants and I just never watch any of them ever! What a world we live in, huh?

I usually work on Christmas and my family is far away, so I sometimes spend it alone. And for me, it’s great! I eat what I want, I sleep in, I watch my favourite movies and shows, I take long, luxurious baths, I go for long walks. It’s a little break from social obligation that totally recharges me.

George Lucas: And Han Solo, who did NOT shoot first

George Lucas: And Han Solo, who did NOT shoot first

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas is one of the best seasonal episodes of television ever. The guest casting? The story? The setting? A+++ would watch again. A perfect Christmas Eve spook!

Ok but the songs in a Muppet Christmas Carol did NOT need to go this hard.

Criss Angel? The Mindfreak?

Happy Holidays to everyone except the contractors who left our laundry room a filthy mess of drywall dust, grout dust and mud from melted snow. And also the people who don’t empty their pockets before using the laundry. I am tired of picking tissue, toonies and vape pens out of the gasket.

in this house we cherish the holiday classics 🎄