Repost with an iconic fictional band

I think everyone should leave twitter except Joyce Carol Oates and she should just torture Elon there forever.

Just watched Frankenstein and I’m sorry, but I thought it was so bad that I am going to bed mad about it.

Jail for One. Thousand. Years.

This is really good. I love an essay that is so well written that it reads breezily, even though it’s clearly been written with care.

Why is it when we get new neighbours I feel like we have to house train a puppy? “Please lock the main door behind you.” “Please do not use loud power tools before 11AM.” “Please do not leave trash, especially food trash, in the yard.” “Please leave the washing machine door open or it will stink.”

Every single woman you know has had this happen to her. Even the goddamn president of Mexico.

Yes, what IS the cost of a Great Gatsby-themed party these days? Enquiring minds want to know.

[Exit Clown.]

This is kind of metal actually

👀

Love how, every time I want to buy, like, a pair of pantyhose online, I have to come up with a new unique password with at least one number and one symbol and one uppercase letter, but the people guarding precious works of art are allowed to be, like, “I dunno, Louvre?”

If I ever come into a massive amount of money somehow, like, multiple tens of millions, i wouldn’t tell anyone, but there would be signs. Mainly in that I would start a magazine for young people and staff it with Teen Vogue types.

I truly believe we were the best team in baseball this year. I really do. We just couldn't do it. I'm so sad. I love them so much. I'm so proud of them and I also want to barf, so I guess that's sports for ya.

Stop ruining a sport by mentioning Drake like he matters to baseball or anyone. Drake is nobody’s friend. If he were an ice cream flavour, he’d be pralines and dick.

Christine is a movie that falls *just* shy of great. Perhaps in my top five Carpenter movies, and he was barely trying.

Jays had an amazing, amazing season. Great group of guys and I think, I hope, they can get most of them back next year, make some bullpen changes perhaps. Anyhoo, the joy of baseball is that in six months, you get to try again! See you all at spring training!

But mostly pain and heartbreak. 💔

The world is a fuck.

Ugh. What a heartbreaker.

Two runs! I want it all!

Jaysus

In retrospect, he may have trouble finding the strike zone because this umpire can also not find it. They know there’s a box on the screen that tells everyone how wrong they were, right?

This umpire can get wreckt.

“He sometimes has issues finding the strike zone.” Then why is he pitching in the fucking 10th inning of the World Series?

Baseball is heartbreak and pain and romance and joy.

C’mon cap’n!

Givin’g ‘em the ol’ razzle dazzle.

What a dork! Could I love him more?

New boyfriend at the bat!

Somebody get Emmet Sheehan some purple shampoo.

Hook it to my veins

Need a gif of Vladdy’s gleeful hopping run IMMEDIATELY please!

He *does* play like a child who wished to be big. (2nd Tom Hanks reference of the night.)

Loving’ Ern-dog in his Tom Hanks Bosom Buddies era.

I am legit afraid to look at my heart rate right now.

I guess the announcers are not allowed to just be like “CHECK YOUR EYES UMP!”

Buck: Louis Varland is a special young man. *Camera shows Max Scherzer* Buck: And that’s a special OLD man.

Longest inning ever.

Hitting the pitcher who was just warned about hitting a batter

Serves you right, getting a comebacker!

You love to see the bullpen run in to have a fight.

Stress-eating leftover Halloween candy.

Yuuuuuusssssss!!

Nice of the umpire to help Ohtani out here.

Blue Jays get through a single game without a base-running mistake challenge.

Alright boys, let’s get some hits! Ferda!

Vladdy is basically like “we’re going to win even if I have to do it all myself.”

The Night of the Hunter (Charles Laughton, 1955)

Vladdy wearing a Poulin jersey. His vibes are EXCELLENT.